It had touched her, sort of, but she refused to be like that. “I’m not going to interfere with your life together.”
“If he isn’t taking care of you the way he needs to, tell me. Let me know, and I’ll make sure he’s only allowed to come when with you.”
“I appreciate that.”
And she had, even though when they’d ended the conversation she felt a little odd after.
And as she rode Scott in bed, her eyes closed, she wouldn’t deny she was imagining what it’d be like to have Keith under her, have it be his cock inside her.
Chapter Twelve
Over the next few weeks, Keith became a fixture at their house several nights a week. Noel didn’t mind so much, because the alternative was them going somewhere else, and then her mind would race, wondering what they were doing.
It was a type of mental and emotional masochism, and she damn well knew it, but she wasn’t yet ready to admit it. Especially not to them.
One evening, Keith was over, with them planning to watch a movie on TV after dinner.
Despite the men asking her to join them for dinner, assuring her it was all right, Noel retreated to the bedroom with her plate of food. She’d probably stay there until after Keith left.
She didn’t know which part stung more, that Scott seemed to have a very likely relationship choice who could be everything for him she couldn’t…
Or that the guy was hot as fuck.
Scorching hot. The kind of guy she almost wished Scott was.
Dominant.
And great mental fodder for her own sexual fantasies at the same time.
If they’d plodded along in their blissfully ignorant little lives without these wrinkles appearing—Scott’s self-realization or the BDSM—she would have been perfectly happy with Scott the way he was.
After seeing how a BDSM dynamic worked, however, she realized it was a gaping hole inside her, too.
Wanting someone strong to lean on, someone to take charge, someone to give her a mental break for a while.
Where was her shining knight? She’d thought Scott was him. Would have gone to her grave believing that.
Had she not met Keith.
She’d wanted to hate Keith, wanted to be jealous of him. But not only was he handsome, and dominant, he seemed to be a nice guy and going out of his way to make an effort to try to make this easier on her.
It’d be easier for her to hate him if he was a walking douchenozzle. If she could muster anger, or even irritation.
Unfortunately…she couldn’t. If she had to pick a guy for Scott, Keith would be the kind of guy she’d pick.
Hell, Keith was the kind of guy she’d pick for herself.
In the future.
Well, without the being gay part.
Lucky bastard.
She decided it’d be stupid to hide out in her room, not to mention immature. When she finished eating, she walked out to the kitchen. Scott sat alone at the table, a frown on his face. Keith, on his phone, was standing out on the lanai.
“What’s wrong?” she asked before considering the ramifications of getting involved.
“I don’t know. He’s on the phone with his landlord.”
About that time, Keith ended the call, a disgusted look on his face, and returned to the kitchen.
“Sorry,” he said, returning to his seat. “Dammit.”
“What’s wrong?” Scott asked.
“Well, so much for me renewing my lease. I’ve been trying to get in touch with him for over a week because next month I’m due. He and his wife are in the middle of a divorce and bankruptcy, and that rental house, along with two others they own, are in foreclosure. I can’t renew my lease. Dammit. He swears he’ll get me my security deposit back, but somehow, I’m doubting that’ll happen.”
Noel didn’t realize she’d spoken out loud until she noticed both men were staring at her. “Move in here.”
“Noel,” Keith started, “that’s very generous of you, but—”
“No, seriously. It only makes sense. Move in here. I’ll take the guest room, and you guys can have the master bedroom.” She rinsed her dishes off and stuck them in the dishwasher.
“Are you sure?” Scott asked.
“Yeah. Look, I’m coming up on summer break here soon. Money’s going to be tight. Move in, chip in with the bills, and you guys get more time together.”
And I don’t have to lose my husband right away, and I can have Hot Damn Dom in residence all the time.
The men exchanged a glance before Keith met her gaze. “Can we talk about it and get back to you?”
She forced herself to remain calm and shrugged. “Sure.” Hands and legs trembling, she returned to her bedroom and closed herself in.
A bedroom she’d just offered to let her husband and his boyfriend have.
Correction, his Master, Owner, and lover.
She was just Scott’s wife, nothing special.
Not anymore.
She was watching TV—or, trying to watch but mostly stewing—when the knock on her door startled her. “Come in.”
Scott gingerly opened the door, Keith right behind him. “Can we talk to you?”
She used the remote to mute the TV. “Sure.”
They walked in. “Did you really mean it?” Scott asked.
“Of course I meant it. I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it.”
The men exchanged a look. “This won’t be too uncomfortable for you?” Keith asked.
“Not any more than it already is. At least if you’re here, you’re not out and I’m wondering what’s going on. Frankly, it’ll be easier on me. Extra set of hands around the house to help with chores. Or is that something a Master doesn’t do?” She regretted the snark as soon as it seeped from her. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
“No, it’s okay,” Keith said. “Yes, I’ll pull my weight around here. Monetarily and doing chores.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“Honey,” Scott started, “I don’t want—”
“I’m a realist,” she said, interrupting him before he said something nice that would make her cry. “It only makes sense. I’m happy for both of you for what you’ve got. Eventually, we’ll get through this, I’ll be able to go my way and quit being the fifth wheel, and life goes on. It’s stupid for you two to be apart.”
Keith tried.
If he just. Wasn’t. So. Fucking. Hot.
“Please don’t make this offer just because you think—”
“I’m making the offer for my own reasons. We all might as well save the money, okay? End of story.”
The men exchanged a glance. “If you’re sure,” Scott said.
“I’m sure.” She unmuted the TV and, finally, they left, closing the door behind them.
Curling up in a ball, she pulled one of the pillows against her and silently cried into it.
* * * *
Scott had to work an all-day shift the next day. She took that afternoon after getting home from work to move her things into the guest room and bathroom across the hall from it.
It felt…weird.
Yes, she’d grown used to weird sleeping patterns over the years, sometimes having him in bed with her, sometimes not.
This was a different thing. This was more permanent.
This hammered home the beginning of the end.
No more sneaky middle-of-the-night interludes that she knew would only leave her more heartbroken later.
Knowing he was only doing them for her, with Keith’s permission.
She didn’t want to be a pity fuck. Especially not to her own goddamned husband.
Still, her conscience remained clear, and that was something she could cling to and focus on throughout the process. She was being the bigger person. Maybe at the cost of her own happiness, but that didn’t matter.
When she looked back on this interlude in her life later, she wanted to be able to do so with her head held high that she’d taken the high road, that she’d done what was right, even though it ripped her heart and soul out in the process.