"You were running to me." Gideon's voice was velvet with tenderness. "It was the time for us to come together."
She met his eyes. "I believe that now, but that night I was confused and upset. I had suffered a shock that had shaken me to the foundations and sent me in a daze wandering through Mariba. I don't even know how I got into that bar where you found me. Oh, I was brimful of a convent idea of sin. I'd taken a marriage vow and, even if I'd been duped, I couldn't reconcile myself to the idea of breaking that vow." She shook her head in wonder as she looked back on that bewildered child. "Perhaps my stepfather even relied on that convent training. It wouldn't surprise me."
"You shouldn't have left me. We could have worked everything out if we'd been together."
"He would have destroyed you," she said simply. "I didn't dare even mention you. I told you, what he couldn't control, he destroyed. He was a very powerful man and you were just getting started. That night I lay awake and tried to think of a way out, but I knew there was only one solution. I had to let them use me, until I could gather the strength to break free." She determinedly blinked back the tears. "That first year was bad. I wanted to run back to you a hundred times a day."
"But you didn't."
"No, I started to close you out instead." She lifted his palm and cradled it against her cheek. "Remember when I told you that everything I love becomes an obsession with me? When I came to you, I was starved for affection and you gave me everything I'd ever dreamed about. I had been alone and suddenly you held out the promise that I'd never be alone again. I loved you so much it nearly killed me. The only way I could survive was to shut you out entirely. If I couldn't have all of you, I didn't want memories. I painted the mental picture I wanted to see and put you in the past where you couldn't hurt me."
"You managed very well." Gideon's voice held a thread of pain.
She shook her head. "I thought I had, but it all fell apart when I saw you. Though I still had a king-size hang-up from repressing what I felt for you all those years. I think that was why I had trouble making a commitment." Her lips lovingly brushed his palm. "I finished my education and then made a deal with my stepfather. I would stay married to Antonio on two conditions-that I didn't have to live with them and that he would give me custody of Dane."
"He went along with it?"
"He loved Antonio. I think perhaps Antonio was the only person he ever really did love." Her lips curled. "And Dane was no personal loss to him. He'd been shipped away to schools since he was practically an infant. My stepfather probably thought I'd come crawling back to him when I found myself facing the world without a dime in my pocket."
"But you didn't go back to him?"
"No, but you were right, I gave up a few things. My work… and you." She kissed his palm again. "But you wouldn't stay in the nice little slot in my past where I had put you. You're a very obstinate man, Gideon Brandt, and I'll thank God for it every day for the rest of my life." She raised her eyes and finished gravely. "I love you and you'd better get accustomed to the idea that I'll never give up this particular obsession until the day I die."
"I can hardly wait." The long crescent lines in his cheeks deepened as he smiled down at her. "I've never been anyone's obsession before. I expect to enjoy the hell out of it." His smile faded. "I wish you'd let me stay. I don't want you to have to face that bastard alone."
She shook her head. "I can't say I'm looking forward to it, but I have to do it on my own. He dominated my life for a long time and, even when I got away from him, he still loomed larger than life. Don't you see, I ran away from him. I've been avoiding him for nine years, because I was afraid to face him again." Her expression was desperately in earnest as she tried to make him understand. "I thought I had beaten him when I took Dane and left him, but you can't really claim victory until you come to terms with what you fear. I have to prove he's not important to me anymore. It's the only way I'm ever going to be able to shoot this bushwhacker out of the saddle." She drew a deep breath. "Do you understand?"
He became very still. "Yes, I understand," he said slowly. "And I think you may be right." His gaze lifted from her face to the thatched cottage down the beach. "Is that your bushwhacker coming toward us?"
She followed his gaze and went tense. She hurriedly rose to her feet and nervously brushed the sand from her skirt. Edwin Marlbrent was still far down the beach, but she could feel the familiar fear and tension gripping her.
Gideon stood up and his hand clasped her shoulder in encouragement. "Good shooting, partner." He started down the beach toward the cottage. "I'll see you later."
She scarcely heard him. Her attention was focused on her stepfather coming toward her. In his late fifties, he was an attractive and imposing man. His dark hair was slightly flecked with gray and his tall, heavily muscular body was clad with faultless elegance in an expensive dark business suit. He was frowning as his highly glossed shoes sank into the sand with every step. He had always abhorred the fact that the natural elements of nature were beyond his control and generally avoided exposing himself to the minor defeat they represented.
Serena automatically ran her hand through her rumpled hair to tidy it. She tried desperately to relax, but the habit of years was strong, and she felt as if she were encased in an iron straitjacket.
Gideon had come abreast of Marlbrent and he stopped, his head tilted to the side as he leisurely studied the older man. Marlbrent stopped, too, his frown deepening in puzzlement.
Gideon's lean, whipcord body was dressed, as usual, in jeans and boots. The sleeves of his forest green shirt were rolled to the elbow revealing his tanned forearms, and his sunstreaked hair was ruffled by the breeze. In his elegantly sophisticated apparel and with his imposing, heavily built physique, Marlbrent should have made Gideon seem to dwindle in comparison. Yet this wasn't the case. Gideon's strength dominated the scene with absolutely no effort on his part.
Gideon suddenly cast a glance at Serena over his shoulder, his eyes gleaming with humor and a touch of mischief. Then he turned back to Marlbrent, extended his index finger as if he were aiming a gun, and slowly made the motion of pulling the trigger.
Serena's laughter rang out over the deserted beach as she saw her stepfather's expression of befuddlement and outrage. Abruptly her tension and the ingrained fear of years disappeared as if it had never existed.
Without another glance, or speaking a single word, Gideon passed Marlbrent and continued down the beach toward the cottage. His stride was a careless saunter, but his bearing was totally indomitable.
Nine
It was done.
Serena watched her stepfather walk away and then turned once again to face the soothing rush of the waves against the shore. The episode hadn't been pleasant, but now it was over she was experiencing a singing exuberance and a profound sense of freedom. She would give Marlbrent a few minutes to leave the village, and then she would find Gideon. There was no hurry, and she needed a little time to absorb exactly what had happened here today.