Tiktoffen restrained himself. He so very much wanted to slap her. “I didn’t send for you,” he roared. “It’s too soon!”
The girl shrugged. “We’ve had to move things up.”
The professor opened his mouth to object—
“Another Heterodyne girl has appeared.” Despite her flippant attitude, Zola knew that Tiktoffen was smart. He instantly closed his mouth and waited.
Zola smiled. “The Baron tried to capture her. She defeated him, and in the process, announced her existence to the entire world. They were buzzing about her in Vienna when I left. We had to strike now before she gets here.”
“Is…” Tiktoffen hesitated. “Is she the real thing?” Suddenly he felt it. A vast attention was focused on them now. Tiktoffen shivered. Apparently The Octagon wasn’t as dead as they had been led to believe.
Zola shrugged. “Her pedigree is unknown. As always, the only test of import is if she can hold this castle. That’s what people will understand. It’s why you’re here, remember?”
Tiktoffen collapsed into a chair and glared at her. “Of course I do! I’ve been in here for three years. There is nothing I want more than to get out and I am telling you that it is too soon!” He slammed his book onto a nearby table. “The Council needs to know how the Castle works?21 That is what I have been doing! But unraveling the work of generations of lunatics takes time! I cannot tell you how to control the Castle yet! You’ve put the entire plan into jeopardy—for nothing!”
The girl picked up Tiktoffen’s treasured book and leafed through a few pages. “No, not for nothing,” she said comfortingly. “We understand that you can’t control the Castle.” She tossed the precious book into a trash barrel. “Instead, you will just have to help me kill it.”
Tiktoffen gasped as if he’d been punched in the stomach. “Kill it?” In an instant he was up on his feet and fishing the book from the barrel. “The whole point of all this was to be able to use it! Its recognition will legitimize you!”
Zola ruefully shook her head. “The consensus is that the Castle may be too shattered to aid anyone. The legends all say that when Faustus Heterodyne brought the Castle to life, it was keenly intelligent. Able to observe and express itself everywhere within its structure, able to move and reshape almost every part of itself. In times of war, there are accounts of it actually aiding in the defense of the town. Now, even if we prune away the obvious hyperbole and inevitable exaggerations, does that sound like this place?”
Tiktoffen looked troubled. “I’ve admitted as much in my reports. The stories you mention could be easily explained as exaggerations of some of the phenomena we can still see today. But the incisive guiding intelligence? That seems to be gone. There’s something, certainly. There are the voices that direct our repair efforts, but they often seem confused…”
“Confused?” Sanaa spoke up from the ring of fascinated prisoners that had gathered while the two had been talking, “Half the time it says it’s guiding us to repair sites and then leads us into traps!”
There was a heartfelt murmur of confirmation on this point from the rest of the inmates.
Tiktoffen acknowledged this. “That is certainly the case now, but I regard these problems as evidence that the guiding mechanism is damaged, not that it never existed. While I could accept that some of these old stories are exaggerations from enemies or prisoners, there are too many private accounts from the writings of the Heterodynes themselves.”
The girl patted his arm solicitously. “Your work here hasn’t been wasted, Professor, nor has that of your predecessors.”
Tiktoffen looked surprised. The girl noticed and gave a small laugh. “Oh please, you can’t seriously believe that you were our first inside man?”
The look on his face illustrated that this was exactly what he had believed. Zola smiled.
“If it makes you feel any better, you’ve certainly lasted longer than any of the others…but their information has also proved valuable. A recent analysis of all the collected reports suggests that we are not dealing with one single Castle entity. The current thought is that there may be as many as twelve.”
Tiktoffen stared at her. He slowly sat down as this idea bubbled up through his brain. He spoke slowly, “But every source I’ve been able to unearth has referred to it as a single entity.”
The girl nodded. “And it is quite possible that this was originally the case.” She shrugged. “Maybe it even could do some of the things that the old stories claim. But I will say that relying upon the writings of the old Heterodynes to give you an accurate portrayal of anything seems a bit far-fetched, don’t you think?”
Tiktoffen had to concede the point. Only the previous night, he had finished plowing through a journal by the Black Heterodyne,22 which had gone on at great length about “how things would be so much simpler if everyone didn’t have those purple insects crawling in and out of their faces all the time.”
The girl continued. “But whatever cohesion existed must have been destroyed in the Great Attack.23 We now believe that all that is left is a disorganized collection of sub-systems. That’s what you’ve been dealing with. That’s why none of it makes sense.”
A wave of confusion washed over the ring of observers. The girl thought for a second. “Think of it this way; you’ve got repair systems that direct you to damaged areas. You’ve got anti-intruder systems that activate to keep you out of sensitive areas. Normally they’re all part of the same system. But because of the damage, while they are still functioning, they’re not talking to each other. The left claw doesn’t know what the right one is doing.”
She let them absorb this for a moment. “We’re still going to use the Castle, but first we have to stop it from killing everyone. We have more than enough firepower on the way to allow us to hold Mechanicsburg through conventional means, especially if we seem legitimate. I will rule as the new Heterodyne, and I do not need the permission of a broken machine to do it.”
Carson von Mekkhan swung the ancient ironwork gate closed behind him and locked it fastidiously. Agatha, Zeetha, Krosp, and Wooster peered into the gloom. The enclosure was evidently used to store road maintenance tools. Humming to himself, the old man selected a particular brick, gave it a twist, and a hidden door slid open with a deep groan. Carson frowned. “That needs oiling,” he muttered. He stepped through, and indicated that Agatha and her three friends should follow. Once all were through, the door swung shut behind them and they were left in total darkness. Before they could react, there was a “clunk” as Carson threw an ancient knifeswitch and a series of dim green lights began to glow. They now saw that they stood at the top of a wide stone staircase that wound sharply down.
“This isn’t another sewer, is it?” Krosp asked as they started down. He’d had quite enough of those in Sturmhalten.
The old man shook his head. They came to the bottom of the steps and looked up at an elaborate series of groined vaults, the tops of which were lost in the cool darkness.
“This,” Carson announced, his voice echoing, “is the true family crypt of the Heterodynes.” As their eyes adjusted, they could see bizarre and elaborate sepulchers and coffins of marble and granite, decorated with tarnished metal and dusty gems. Unearthly statues lined the walls and carved skeletons were everywhere. It took Agatha a moment to realize that unlike other cemeteries she had visited, all of the statues and carved faces were grinning in a most disquieting manner. Even in death, the Heterodynes took a perverse pride in the fact that people were happy to see them go.