Higgs shuffled his feet. “I told you that you don’t owe me anything, Ma’am.”
Mamma tilted her head to the side. “Vell, I suppose dot’s a leedle more true now den it vas yesterday.” She turned to Gil.
“Hyu account is schtill op in de air, young man. Hyu gots a lot uf credit for slappink dose guys down mit de lightning.” She leaned in and gave him a hard look. “But if hyu cause Miz Agatha trouble, den der vill be a reckonink.”
Gil looked her in the eye. “Of course I’ll cause her trouble. But I’ll do my best to protect her.”
Mamma’s cheeks dimpled as she laughed and patted his cheek. “Oh, dis vill be so interestink,” she crooned. Then she straightened up. “Hokay, get out uv here!”
Gil turned back to Higgs. “Anyway, you’re assigned to me, now. Come along.”
Higgs sighed. “Yes, sir.”
As they moved off, Zeetha sidled up to him. “So, what did you do for the Jäger lady?”
Higgs kept his eyes straight ahead. “Nothing much. She’s makin’ more of it than she should.”
Zeetha would have continued but they came to a steep set of stairs, almost a ladder, that disappeared up into the darkness. They scrambled upwards for what Gil estimated was close to twenty meters before they came to a wooden hatch that Van opened by throwing a lever set into the wall. The hatch swung up and over on silent, well-oiled pneumatic hinges and they clambered up into—
“A wine cellar?” Gil looked around in astonishment. “How deep underground are we?”
“Deep.” Van selected a lantern from a well-supplied shelf. “And we’re still two levels down.”
Gil nodded slowly as they passed rack upon rack of bottles. He noted that it wasn’t only wine stored here. They passed alcoves neatly stuffed with what appeared to be assorted food stores. Mechanicsburg was still well prepared in case of siege.
“Is this sort of thing common around here?”
Van raised an eyebrow.
Gil waved a hand. “These extensive cellars. I mean, we’re still finding underground passages in Balan’s Gap, and I spent a lot of time in the Paris Undercity,44 but does every city have stuff like this? I grew up on an airship. We didn’t really have a basement, per se.”
The Jägers laughed. “Vell, dey’s not all as extensive as ours,” Dimo said thoughtfully.
“Or else Europa vould have collapsed after a hard rain!” Maxim chimed in.
Gil raised his lantern and looked around. “Are there monsters?” He looked back at the Jägers. “Present company excluded, of course.”
Dimo laughed again, “Ho, yaz! But dey all vork for de Heterodynes. Ain’t dot right, Franz?”
This last was asked at a shout, and Gil realized, with a start, that the giant statue they were walking beside was not a statue, but instead, a living creature. Zeetha and Krosp realized it at the same moment. Both jumped and then looked annoyed at having done so.
The monster’s great head swung slowly towards them. Its skin was cracked and pebbled and covered in a grey coating of dust. Enormous nostrils blew out a gust of air redolent with flammable hydrocarbons, and a pair of sleepy green-gold eyes opened slightly. Gil noted a tarnished brass dial set into its nose. The needle flickered at the far left, and there was a trilobite symbol set into the space between its brows. The rest of the enormous body was hidden in the shadows.
“Yeh, yeh.” The gravelly slow voice roiled over them. “Heterodynes forever. Now shottop. I’m trying to get some sleep here.”
Gil stared at the creature with awe. “I didn’t think there were any dragons left,”45 he breathed.
The dragon slowly shifted his attention to him and again sighed. “Until de Heterodyne returns,” he muttered as his eyes closed, “you iz correct.”
The sound of deep breathing filled the cavern.
At the next stairway, Dimo stopped. “Dis iz as far az ve goes,” he said to Gil. “Hyu iz on hyu own now.”
Zeetha looked disappointed. “You’re not coming? Why not? We could use you.”
Dimo shrugged. “Ve iz not supposed to be in de town until de Heterodyne iz back officially. Den dey rings de Doom Bell. Until dot happens, ve gots to stay underground, vere ve’s technically not in de town.”
Zeetha looked skeptical. “But didn’t you go through the town to get here with him?” She pointed at Gil.
Dimo winced but it was too late. Ognian and Maxim’s eyes had widened and they looked at each other in obvious distress.
“She iz right!” Ognian said with a troubled voice. “Ve broke de solemn oath ven ve brought Meester Gil in through de Sneaky Gate!”
“But de regular tunnels vas too far,” Maxim said, “and he vas too injured!”
“Ve had no choice! But ve gafe our vord!”
“Now our honor is foreffer shattered!”
“Ve kin only redeem ourselves mit honorable death!”
“Yez! Svift, painful, honorable death!”
Ognian drew a wicked looking knife from inside his coat. Its blade glittered in the lantern light. “Hyu knife, brodder,” he intoned.
Maxim’s own knife appeared. A tear ran down his face. “Right here, brodder!”
Simultaneously, they reached up and placed their knives at each other’s throats. They closed their eyes—
Dimo cleared his throat. “Ve didn’t actually get caught, hyu eediots.”
The two Jägers stared at him owlishly for a moment and then with a relieved sigh, repocketed their blades.
“Scary,” Oggie muttered.
“Yeh,” Maxim agreed. “Dot vas a close vun.”
Gil and Zeetha exchanged glances.
Dimo strode over and clapped Gil on the shoulder. “Goot luck, Meester Gilgamesh! Ven hyu sees Miz Agatha, hyu takes care uf her until ve gets dere, hokay?”
Gil snorted. “If she’ll let me.”
Van, meanwhile, had been collecting the lanterns, extinguishing them, and storing them on a rack similar to the one in the wine cellar. He turned to the others now. “All right, folks, one last gauntlet and we’re out.”
Gil looked apprehensive. “What, more monsters?”
Van shook his head. “Tourists.” He opened the door and a pulsing wave of sound boomed outwards. It was a driving polka beat that vibrated the floorboards and rattled the tableware. Gil and his party found themselves in another bierstube, but this one was brightly lit and hung with garish Jäger trophies and pictures that inevitably portrayed the Jägers as buffoons and dimwitted clowns.
The place was packed with tourists, drinking and dancing, along with teams of saucy girls barely dressed as Jägers.
Van put his mouth next to Gil’s ear. “This is the Mamma Gkika’s you’ve heard about,” he yelled.
Krosp had clapped his paws over his ears. “No wonder nobody can hear the Jägers fighting down there.”
Gil nodded. “Let’s get out of here. I have an idea, but we’ll have to move quickly and quietly.”
As he spoke, a meaty hand grasped his collar and hauled him up onto the stage. It was a large, drunken patron, who waved Gil around in the air and bellowed; “Hey look! It’s Gilgamesh Wulfenbach! The guy who saved the town!”
Immediately the hall erupted into cheers. Vanamonde sagged against the wall. “So much for quietly.”
Krosp shrugged. “So we’re doomed. Cope.”
“No, really, we’re doomed,” Moloch moaned. “No one’s ever been in this part of the Castle.”
“The map says to go this way,” Agatha said confidently.
“But the traps aren’t marked.”
Agatha nodded. “Then that pink harridan won’t follow us.”
“WRONG.” A ghastly voice echoed through the cavernous room they had been traversing. Moloch whimpered and hugged the tools tighter. The voice of the Castle continued, “This is very interesting. They want to kill you so much that they are killing each other.” It sounded amused. Then its tone became aggrieved: “Why is that? Don’t they know that killing all of you is my job?”