Sleipnir smiled. “About how we were going to storm the Castle?”
Gil’s head tipped back and he closed his eyes. “Riiight. Right, right, right. That’s gonna be tricky. I should pick up some tools and… stuff. Tool stuff.” He glanced at a clock on the mantle. “But it’s late. All’a shops’ll be closed.” He turned to the two of them “Gunna have to build a mechanical shoplifter.” A tear welled up in his eye and dripped off his nose. “Gunna be a criminal.” His head lolled until he was looking at Sleipnir. “Agatha’s not like you. She’s not gunna wanna be in love with a criminal.”
Sleipnir snorted. “It is an acquired taste.”
Theo rolled his eyes. “Relax. Tools we have. We’ve been outfitting for an expedition, remember?”
Gil visibly brightened. “Excellent! Give ’em here!”
Sleipnir pushed him back into his seat. “Nuh-uh. We’ll carry the supplies.”
Gil frowned. “Why?”
“Because if we give them to you, you’ll try to leave us outside.”
Gil slumped back again. “Curses,” he mumbled. “Another brilliant plan, foiled.”
Sleipnir smiled serenely. “If you try to steal them, I’ll have to fight you.”
Gil recoiled. “No! You fight dirty!”
“A base canard.”
Theo hiccupped and clapped his hands together. “I think we’re as ready as we’re going to get! Let’s move out!”
A short time later, two Wulfenbach troopers were leaning on a balustrade outside one of Castle Heterodyne’s smaller gates. There were troops at every entrance now. The Baron had acknowledged that it was unlikely that there were any more Heterodyne claimants waiting to push their way into the ancient deathtrap, but one never knew. At least with any luck, they’d be able to catch one of the ones already inside on her way out.
There had certainly been some excitement earlier in the evening when the Torchmen had activated and launched skyward, but since they seemed to have no interest in anyone on the ground, the troops had eventually relaxed and were gazing upwards, enjoying the show.
Castle Wulfenbach and its attendant flotilla had managed to outrun the Torchmen. Several smaller ships had fallen to Earth, some in more control than others, and at least a dozen more had successfully managed to contain the fires.
The Torchmen themselves had circled the town three times and even now the last of them were drifting back to their posts like flaming snowflakes. Every now and then, one of the aged mechanisms suddenly seized up and plummeted to the ground. At least two fires were burning, one in a small shop right below the troopers’ post. Even as the two men watched, one of the great metal fire-fighting dragons of Mechanicsburg lumbered around a corner. The driver waddled the thing up close to the fire and the crew leapt off. They unreeled the canvas hose hidden in the tail and dragged it to the nearest of the many canals that wove through the city.
Then they signaled the driver. With a roar, pumps started, the metal neck swung up, and the mouth spat a highly pressurized stream of water. The attendant crowd cheered.
The two guards nodded in professional appreciation and returned their gaze to the returning Torchmen.
“The Castle is still flyin’,” the younger guard said with evident relief.
“Yup.” The older man said. “And those flaming things are coming back home.”
The younger guard thought about this. “Um…But we’re still here… so who won?”
The older one clapped him on the shoulder. “Charge your gun and live in the moment, kid.”
A murmur caught their attention. Three people were climbing up the stairway, a touch unsteadily. The older soldier instantly identified them as a bunch of tipsy kids. This wouldn’t be the first batch of revelers to have climbed up the Castle stairs for a better look.
“Look,” the kid in the lead said with exaggerated reasonableness. “You really don’t have to come in. You just give me all the equipment, and—”
“No way,” said a second young man. “This is our stuff. We collected it for our trip. If we give it to you, you’ll just break it or use it to build twisted mockeries of science. Probably both.”
“Yeah,” the girl with them chimed in. “No way we’re going to let you have all that fun without us.”
The old soldier sighed. Wannabe Sparks.55 There were a lot of them in Mechanicsburg. Time to send them packing.
“Halt!”
The group stumbled into each other at the top of the stairs. The old soldier was struck by the fact that they didn’t look startled or even particularly guilty. This was ridiculous. Students were always guilty of something.
The lead fellow nudged his companion and murmured, “Here we go.” Then he stood straight and bellowed, “Know that I—!”
“Wait!” The other one frantically tugged at the speaker’s sleeve. The girl leaned in as well. “We forgot the crowd!”
The loud kid deflated and turned to them with a look of incredulity upon his face. “You are kidding me.” He looked around and saw nothing but the two stolid soldiers. “I didn’t think I could go three meters in this town without attracting a crowd.” He waved at the soldiers and called out: “Hold on, we’ll be right back!” Then the three of them clattered noisily back down the stairs.
The two soldiers waited for the regulation minute and then lowered their rifles. The older soldier turned to his companion. “See? That’s what college’ll do to you. Now go brew us up a mug.”
Gil and Theo tried to ignore Sleipnir’s giggles as they all clumped down the stairs. “Maybe we could just leave a note,” she suggested.
“No!” Gil was emphatic. A part of his brain noted with relief that the fresh air seemed to be clearing the last of Theo’s concoction from his head. “We need a crowd. A big crowd. They’ve got to see us going in.” He rolled his eyes. “What’s driving me crazy is that I had a crowd, and I let them get away.”
Theo dramatically placed a hand to his forehead. “Ah, the fickleness of the mob. Their love, once gone, is gone forever. You are a has-been, my friend. Yesterday’s news.”
Sleipnir waited until Theo wound down. “We’ll just have to build a new crowd.”
Gil stopped dead on the stairs. “That would take weeks!”
Theo nodded, “And the graveyard is all the way across town.”
Sleipnir nodded. “Stand a little closer so I can slap the two of you at once.” With the ease of practice, the two stepped away from each other. “I mean,” she continued, “that we have to do something exciting to get people’s attention!”
Theo nodded. “Oh. Yeah, that would work, too.”
They reached the bottom of the stairs, and Gil turned towards the tourist district. “Let’s go.”
They soon found that there were lots of people on the streets already—many of them drinking.
Theo looked around. “Standing out in this is going to be tough,” he admitted.
Suddenly a familiar voice rang out. “There you are!”
Gil turned and saw Zeetha, a half-eaten honey-glazed “trilobiteon-a-stick” in her hand. Behind her stood Krosp and a bemused Airman Higgs, still cradling Gil’s hat. “We knew you’d wander out here eventually. Still planning on going into the Castle?”
Gil nodded. “Yesss. But first we need a good fight.”
Theo looked surprised, then nodded. “Oh. Yes, that would do it.”
Zeetha’s face went blank. Gil took a large step back and leveled a stern finger at her. “That’s right, you brazen hussy!” he roared. A few of the people in the surrounding crowd turned towards them. “I, Gilgamesh Wulfenbach, will enter Castle Heterodyne! And if you try to stop me, I will fight you in a suitably noisy and crowd-gathering manner! Let all who gather see that I—Gilgamesh Wulfenbach—will defend the Heterodyne girl with my life!”
Zeetha’s trilobite dripped honey onto her hand. “What?”