Higgs spoke up. “Um…sir? I would like to point out that we are now inside Castle Heterodyne? A hideous uncontrolled engine of death?”
Gil scowled. “Now you’re just trying to cheer me up. Well, it won’t work. I’m still mad.”
But Gil realized that he might be leading the loyal airman into danger and the thought brought him up short. He allowed the others to catch up and they proceeded more cautiously.
Zeetha caught him in a friendly headlock. She laughed. “Aww, you are so cute. Relax. Agatha is a smart girl. She’ll be mad at me.” Gil considered this. Zeetha continued, “And if she is mad at you, think of all the fun you’ll have making up.”
Gil growled at her. “I want you to know that, although I currently hate my life, I hate all of you more.”
“Aw! So grumpy!” Zeetha rubbed his untidy hair with one fist and then allowed him to spin away from her. He harrumphed and again strode forward. Higgs scurried to keep up.
They heard a gasp from the doorway in front of them.
“Gil? Is that you?”
High above Mechanicsburg, the last of the Torchmen were beating their way back to their lampposts. Two of the last were working very hard. They had responded to signals while attacking Castle Wulfenbach, and the protocols had checked out. A passenger had been transferred to their care. They had actually been on their way back to the twinkling lights of Mechanicsburg with their new burden while the rest of the flock had still been driving the great airship and its attendant fleet towards the border.
At last the heights of Castle Heterodyne were coming into focus. A particular balcony lit up, torches puffing into explosive light one after the other, until a relatively undamaged area was clearly lit.
Wings working furiously, the Torchmen angled for the designated area. Once they were close enough, a great wood and iron door squealed ponderously open.
“Ah,” the Castle said. “You’ve returned.”
Their passenger, a tall woman sheathed in black leather adorned with a profusion of straps and buckles revealed her needle sharp teeth. Once they were over the balcony, she released her hold upon the strap held by the Torchmen and effortlessly dropped to the balcony. The clanks flapped off. She didn’t bother to watch them go.
“Of course I’ve returned,” Mistress Von Pinn hissed. “A Heterodyne has come home.” She glided towards the open door. “And thus, so must I.”
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49 Bloodbat (Desmodontinœ Extremum Sanguine Comedenti) An interesting variety of blood-drinking bat said to have been introduced to the Mechanicsburg area by the Black Heterodyne, who discovered them on one of his adventures in the Subterranean Kingdoms. Apparently he was so enchanted by the thought of nature having produced something so dreadful, all by itself, that he wanted to share it with the world.
50 Spiderroach (Loxosceles Blattella Stamina Telœ Heterodyne). These creatures, on the other hand, were created by the Red Heterodyne, who was convinced that the works of Nature could always be improved. The Red and Black Heterodynes were brothers who were always involved in philosophical arguments that had horrendous real-world consequences.
51 Venomous Rafter Toad (Bufo Venenatorum Trabe Heterodyne) Actually, nobody is quite sure where these horrid little amphibians came from. They are only tolerated because they feed almost exclusively on bloodbats and spiderroaches.
52 For assorted political reasons, The Baron had acumulated many of the children of various Sparks, rulers and troublemakers throughout the Empire—officially as hostages against their parents’ good behavior. While they stayed on Castle Wulfenbach, he had them educated in political theory, business management, the sciences, the humanities, and charm and deportment. While history has shown that this resulted in an unprecidented sophisticated and well-rounded ruling class, Klaus frankly admitted that he had started the program “to keep them busy and out from underfoot.”
53 Because it was a lamp. The device, which students will find first described in Agatha H. and The Airship City, was apparently looted from Castle Heterodyne, and, in addition to being a lamp, was both an energy source and a device capable of generating a small portable invisibility field. The Heterodynes liked to design mechanisms that had multiple functions, one of which was usually to cause surprise.
54 This sort of rigmarole is actually fairly standard when talking about “lost laboratories.” Sparks are a secretive lot, and they keep their blasphemous secrets held close to their vests. On average, a good Spark will invest anywhere from one-half to two-thirds of his or her time and energy on the design and hiding of an elaborate lair, as they seem to have an instinctual understanding that people work best in an environment where the controls to all the deathtraps are right at their fingertips. This is a good thing, overall, as time spent digging an elaborate “Maze of Madness” is less time spent trying to find a way to turn the nearest city into a beautiful volcanic moonscape. Thus, it should come as no surprise to those who knows his modus operandi that it was Baron Wulfenbach who lavishly bankrolled a very effective advertising campaign that let people know that “You Can Judge A Spark’s Strength By His Lair!”
55 An interesting sociological phenomenon, usually found near colleges. Essentially, people who like to think that they are nascent Sparks. It was a conceit with varying degrees of dedication. At one end, you have those who play at what they think a Spark might be like, as an excuse to indulge in various recreational excesses, all the way up to those who desperately hope that they really are Sparks, usually because they didn’t do the studying and hope to be able to turn their professors into weevils before finals. As seasoned professors, we can assure you that this hardly ever happens, so get back to your books.
56 The Baron’s Weapon Designers had demonstrated that the sound of a gun being cocked could instantly silence an entire room full of people yelling at each other. They had subsequently designed the Empire’s guns so that this sound was amplified and engineered to convey even more menace. Klaus deemed the project a success when, in a field experiment, a single trooper was able to silence a stadium full of enraged football fans who had just watched a goalie obviously throw a game. To be fair, he then had the goalie executed. Klaus liked clean sports.
CHAPTER 7
The smooth concrete walkways that wound through the Gardens of Mechanicsburg’s Great Hospital were designed for the comfort of perambulating patients. Tonight, instead of patients, they were thronged with Wulfenbach military forces—taking advantage of the superior view that the hospital’s elevated grounds afforded of the rest of Mechanicsburg.
Some were camped around impromptu fires, brewing mugs of something or other—or having a smoke and a rest. Others were gathered around long tables borrowed from the hospital, studying maps and lists by the light of field lamps. But most of them were leaning against the ornate concrete balustrades that encircled the area, looking down upon the rest of the town.
The hospital was constructed in an area of the town that is, by design, intended to shut down at night so that its patients can sleep in peace. The local businesses tend to be medical supply shops, hotels that cater to visiting families (who probably won’t much feel like painting the town red), pharmacies, and the better class of resurrectionist.
That had all been overturned today. Every building in sight had been hung with the ornate, decorative trilobite lanterns that the townspeople haul out for festive occasions. Every courtyard and wide space in the road had been turned into an impromptu beer garden and dance hall.