Soon, enough of the crowd had passed that Agatha and her friends could join the tail end, and they turned the corner in time to see the girl in pink gracefully lifted onto the rail of the little stone bridge by two of her retainers.
She pointed dramatically at the castle and the crowd cheered.
“Will you look at her?” Agatha was slowly shifting from shock to outrage. “I cannot believe this! She’s pretending to be me!”
Krosp nodded and glanced up at the pink dirigible, which was slowly drifting along in the direction of the castle. “Yes, this is going to be trouble.”
The girl and her coterie had reached the castle side of the bridge. Even though Agatha was looking for it, it was still startling when, with a puff of displaced air and a small cloud of dust, the members of the Black Squad materialized around the girl and her party.
Wooster nodded in satisfaction. “And that should take care of that.”
The captain looked a lot more alert this time. His squad held their weapons at the “ready” position. “Halt.”
The girl did so with a smile. Without taking her eyes off of the captain, she inquired, “Herr Vikel?”
One of the dark retainers nodded and activated the device in his hands. Instantly the members of the Black Squad shrieked and began to unnaturally twist and bend before they disappeared. Their weapons clattered to the ground.
The pink girl took a deep breath and then casually waved a hand. “Onward!”
Wooster let out a low whistle. “Interesting.”
After a shocked moment, the crowd hurried to catch up and hundreds of people were now toiling up the winding road to the front gate of the castle. Agatha’s group joined them.
Krosp looked over the rail at the steep slope and nodded in approval. “Nice. Very defensible.”
Agatha frowned. “But why didn’t Miss Perfect just fly up to the top in her perfect pink airship?”
Wooster considered this. “I think it’s fairly obvious that this whole grand procession is for show.”
Zeetha nodded. “She wants as many people as possible to see her enter the castle.”
Agatha frowned. “But…can’t they tell that she’s spouting nonsense?”
Wooster gave her a smirk. “The only thing that makes it nonsense is that she’s saying it instead of you.” He waved a hand at the excited townspeople. “They’ve all heard about you, so they were expecting something like this.” He paused. “Well, probably not like this, exactly. This is all a bit high-handed, although her showmanship is impeccable.”
Agatha stumbled slightly and leaned against a railing panting, “Well her ‘impeccable showmanship’ is killing me.”
Krosp sniffed. “I think you’re still feeling some of the after effects of those chemicals they filled you full of in Sturmhalten.”
Zeetha narrowed her eyes. “I think somebody’s been neglecting her training.”
“Training?” Agatha snorted. “Please. Right now, who cares?”
Seconds later, the crowd toiling its way up the incline hastily parted for Agatha, hotly pursued by Zeetha—brandishing a large stick.
Soon enough, Agatha reached the gateway and stumbled to her knees. “Sorry, Zeetha! Sorry! I do care! I really do!” she gasped under her breath. Her heart was pounding and she was afraid she might pass out. She swayed slightly, thinking maybe the rest would at least be good for her, when a well-manicured hand appeared before her.
“My, my…” The voice was light and melodic, with a faint Parisian accent, “such an encouraging reception! But there’s no need to kneel, dear girl. I’ll not rule by fear! Arise!” So saying, Zola’s hand lightly curled around Agatha’s upper arm and hauled her up straight, with surprising strength.
Up close, the face of the woman in pink was broad, but delicate. Her eyes were large and expressive and her wide mouth was set in a genuine smile of delight. Behind her, two of the tall retainers watched Agatha closely, the innocent-looking devices in their hands not quite pointing at her.
“Here, my dear, a little token of our meeting.” She pressed a coin into Agatha’s hand as she moved on.
Agatha stared at the coin and felt a surge of fury wash through her. It was a gold coin. Solid, by the weight of it. One face was an elegant portrait of the girl herself. The other was a trilobite. The heraldic symbol of the Heterodyne family. If nothing else, Agatha felt severely outclassed.
Wooster saw her face and pried the coin from her fingers. He could see that several nearby onlookers were interested. He slipped a familiar hand around her shoulders. It was like hugging an iron statue. “Mighty generous, eh, dear?” he said gamely. He pretended to notice her face. “It’s not charity, dear. No need to be embarrassed.”
The onlookers nodded in sympathy and then the sound of squealing metal drew everyone’s attention. Several of the tall men were pulling back a set of gates that had been installed before the actual great door of the castle, which hung ajar, slightly off its hinges.
When she was sure that everyone was looking, Zola drew herself up and raised her hands for silence. “And now,” she said solemnly, “I go to reclaim what is mine by right!” She then turned and, followed by her attendants, stepped through the door, disappearing from sight.
Everyone waited a minute but nothing else seemed to be happening. Agatha turned to Ardsley Wooster. “She just walked right in?”
Wooster nodded. “Well…yes. The trick is in walking out again.”
Agatha drew herself up, her eyes hard. “Well, fine. That’s just great. I’m going to go in there and show her—”
A quiet voice interrupted her. “Pardon me, my lady…”
Surprised, Agatha and the rest of her party turned to see the old man who had been sitting near them in the café. He had looked sleepy before but now he was alert and focused as he studied her intently. He made a small gesture towards the great doorway. “But shouldn’t that have been you?”
_______________
1 The Great Hospital of Mechanicsburg was the first of the Great Projects that Bill and Barry Heterodyne undertook when Bill officially became the Heterodyne. Before that, an entire section of the town had been zoned for, among other things, biological experiments. The Boys tore it all down and cleansed it with fire. In its place, they built a hospital. The staff had to undergo a rigorous, and prolonged, retraining using assorted incentives, hypnotism, threats, and cattle prods, which was—on the whole—surprisingly successful. Today, The Great Hospital is one of the leading institutions of medical research. It is also known for its pioneering research regarding the humane treatment of the insane, which is greatly appreciated by the staff.
2 Before leaving Master Payne’s Circus, Agatha had arranged for them to receive sanctuary in England. Since she had secretly reengineered their circus into a mechanical fighting force which had wound up wounding the Baron and damaging a significant part of one of his armies, it had seemed like the right thing to do.
3 Dr. Sun Jen-Djieh was the administrator and chief doctor at the first Great Hospital. He was a Spark whom the Heterodyne Boys and Baron Wulfenbach had met in China during their adventures there. (See The Heterodyne Boys and the Even Greater Wall of China for a reasonably accurate record of their meeting.) Shortly thereafter, the Emperor decided that Dr. Sun had been contaminated by exposure to foreigners and should be put to the Death of Five Hundred Tightenings. Dr. Sun decided that it was time to listen to his doctor and take an extended vacation in the West.
4 A perusal of archived Empire records reveal that other red flags were: “Impossible,” “Illogical,” “He wouldn’t dare,” and the all-time favorite: “…couldn’t possibly be that stupid”
5 According to the private journals of Klaus’s personal physician, Dr. Merrliwee, the Baron never actually believed that he had the time to allow himself to heal up naturally from anything. After a series of escalating events that were, in retrospect, actually rather humorous, unless you were one of the poor souls involved, she took to shooting him with a tranquilizer dart whenever he got a papercut. After the third time this happened, Klaus reluctantly established “sickness protocols” that allowed him to at least remain conscious while “taking it easy.” He also felt spurred to invent “cutless paper,” which has saved the lives of thousands of office workers across the Empire.