I smiled and nodded my head. “Of course they can come in. They’ve waited to see him as long as we have.”
Kane left the room to get them as Branna picked up my son from his Moses basket and placed him in my arms. Branna had put a blue baby hat on his head to lock the heat in. He was wrapped up tightly in a thick blanket, cocooning him.
“He isn’t dressed.”
I blinked. “Could you do it? I want to watch you so I can copy. I fear I will hurt him.”
Branna smiled as she took my sleeping son and laid him across the bed. “I gave him a quick wash like I did you, but you can give him his first proper bath tomorrow after you get some rest.”
I nodded my head and watched as she unravelled the blanket from my son. I found myself leaning over to check between his legs.
I smiled when Branna laughed. “I’m just checkin’ to make sure he is really a boy... I can’t believe it. I thought for sure he was a girl.”
“Kane and all the brothers were right, that’s a bloody first,” she chuckled.
I didn’t look up when the door to my bedroom opened; I was too focused on what Branna was doing. She was carefully putting the tiniest nappy onto my son, mindful of the clamp on his umbilical cord.
“Omigod,” I heard a female whisper.
I felt people enter the room, but I couldn’t look away from Branna’s hands as she dressed my son. She gently put a vest on him followed by a blue baby grown, mittens and a white cardigan. She adjusted his hat and I smiled when he yawned and made a squealing noise.
Branna lifted him up, kissed his cheek then placed him in my arms. I looked up then and smiled. Everyone was in my room, and they all had huge smiles on their faces. There were some tears, too.
“Aideen,” Keela blubbered and came to my side of the bed.
She leaned in, kissed my cheek. “Well done, honey.”
I smiled in thanks and looked down to my son when she placed her hand on his little arm.
“He is perfect,” she whispered.
I agreed wholeheartedly.
“Darlin’.”
I looked up and smiled wide. “Hey, Granda.”
My father’s resolve broke as tears fell from his eyes. Keela moved over to her place in front of Alec while my father sat next to me on my bed and put an arm around my shoulders. He kissed my face and hugged me to him before we both gazed down at my bundle of joy.
“He looks just like you,” my father murmured. “So beautiful.”
I smiled again and lifted my arms. “Do you want to hold him?”
My father nodded his head and stood up. He reached down, and gently picked up his grandson, holding him protectively against his chest. Tears welled up in my eyes as I watched him interact with my baby.
He cooed down at him when he whimpered a little and swayed from side to side.
“Hey, buddy,” he whispered, he eyes welling up. “I’m your Granda.”
That was it.
My tears came fast and furious, making a few of the lads laugh.
“Well done, baby sister.”
I smiled at James when he came over to hug me, followed by my other brothers. Gavin held onto me the longest and told me loved me more than anything in the world... except his nephew. That made me chuckle.
“What is his name?” This came from Bronagh.
I looked to Kane who looked as lost as I felt.
“No idea yet.”
Everyone chuckled at us.
I hugged Kane’s brothers then, and I thanked and apologised to Nico, Alec and Damien for any harm or discomfort I brought to them during my labour. They smiled at me and waved it off like it was no big deal.
I cried some more when I got to the girls. They all cried, even Alannah who was usually the best of us for controlling her emotions. We all laughed and chatted as my son was passed around to everyone. I watched as each and every one of them fell in love with my child, and it only caused my love for them to grow.
I don’t know how long everyone stayed, but by the time everyone left, even Branna after she checked on us both once more, I was close to falling asleep sitting up. I had just finished feeding the baby again and settled back into my bed when a switch flipped inside of me.
It was an odd sequence of events. One moment I was so captivated by my newborn son, that I forgot about everything, and the next the mist of joy that clouded my mind lifted and confusion set in.
I looked at Kane and frowned.
I didn’t think much of it earlier because I was in labour, and afterwards it never occurred to me because I was so wrapped up in the baby and everyone else... but now that I had a minute to think, I was curious to know where Kane had been all day.
I was curious to know why he almost missed our son’s birth.
“Kane?”
He was folding up the birthing pool.
“Hmmm?”
I tiredly blinked. “Where were you all day today?”
He froze.
His hesitation in answering caused my stomach to churn.
“Kane?” I whispered.
The muscles on his back contracted.
“What?” he asked after a moment of silence.
He knew what I asked, but he was stalling.
“Alec was callin’ you for ages, Ryder too, but neither of you answered. Where were you?”
“I was in the gym for about two hours,” he replied.
I swallowed. “And for the other hours?”
He placed the birthing pool back into its container then turned to face me.
“Helping Ryder move... some stuff.”
Tears welled in my eyes.
“Kane.”
He took a step forward. “I swear if I knew you would be having the baby today I wouldn’t have left your side.”
I held my hand up in the air. “Stay where you are.”
Kane tensed, but nodded.
I lowered my hand to my stomach and exhaled. “You were movin’ drugs or weapons... weren’t you?”
Kane opened his mouth, but closed it when no words came out. I watched his hands ball into fists just as I felt the tears that welled up in my eyes spill onto my cheeks.
“Please let me come to you.”
I shook my head. “I was in labour all day... and you were out helpin’ Ryder with that horrible stuff.”
Kane swallowed. “I’m—”
“Your brothers held my hands, listened to me scream and curse at them, and did everythin’ in their power to help me. They never left me side the entire time. They were scared shitless, but they were there for me.”
“Aideen,” Kane whispered, his own eyes glazing with unshed tears.
“You almost missed him comin’ into this world.”
Kane couldn’t hold my gaze anymore. He dropped his head and sagged his shoulders in shame.
“I’m disgusted with myself for not being here for it all.”
I was disgusted with him too.
“What did I tell you?” I asked him.
He looked up at me and shrugged.
“I told you I wouldn’t be with you when you’re attached to that life.”
Pure panic marred Kane’s features.
“Please,” he begged in a low voice. “Please forgive me. I won’t do it again. I won’t help Ryder ever again. I swear on my life.”
It hurt me seeing him so desperate, but I decided I had to be cruel to be kind. I loved him, and I was not letting our relationship fail because of his stupid mistakes. He was my forever, and I was going to make him realise the baby and myself were his.
I kept my expression as blank as I possibly could; I tried my hardest to be heartless.
I was about to scare him straight.
“I think you should leave,” I said, locking my gaze with his.
“Aideen,” he choked and stumbled forward until his knees knocked into our bed. “Please, I’m begging you, don’t do this.”
Don’t break until he does.
“I didn’t do anythin’, you did,” I replied leisurely. “I’ve asked you, no I’ve begged you, repeatedly, to tell me what you and Ryder were up to, and I’ve pleaded with you not to be involved with it... but you completely ignored me. You said it wouldn’t take you from me, but it has. You almost missed the birth of your son for it… was it worth it?”