– What promise?
– Just a promise to think. About your life. How you live your life.
Oh, Jesus.
– You were given the Vyrus how long ago?
– About thirty years.
– Yes. That's quite a good span for most. Many last not even a year. Most, no more than ten. Those who endure find they must dig deeper, burrow into little caves and secret places. They find they need the protection of others who will not question the manner in which they live their lives. The dark hours, the healed wounds, the strange persistence of youth. But you. To live alone, without protection, among those without the Vyrus, for thirty years. That can be seen as an accomplishment. Or a great failure. You, Simon, you are clinging to life as you think it should be led by a man. But you are not a man, not a human man. And you have not been a man for so very long. You have a true nature, all of us who receive the Vyrus have a true nature, but only Enclave see that nature. You see it, and that's why you cling to a life that cannot last, because you are frightened of it. And that's good. The Vyrus is awful. Trying to embrace it, trying to become it, is a terrible task. Exhausting. Painful. But to do anything else? Anything else is a lie. And you, Simon, you aren't made for lying. That's a truth.
I stand up.
– That it?
He tilts his head to watch my face.
– Yes, I suppose it is. Just that you keep your promise and think about it.
– I'll keep my promise.
– Of course you will. And what will you do now?
– Now I'm going.
I head for the door.
– You know, Simon.
– What?
– Most of us, we only touch the Vyrus at first under supervision.
Even I was watched over when I took my first fast. Few manage it alone. And you did it under extreme circumstances. So I hear.
I stand at the doorway.
– And?
– That could mean something.
– What, Daniel? Can you just tell me what's on your mind and cut the crap?
He laughs.
– What's on my mind.
He wipes a single milky tear from the corner of his eye.
– What's on my mind.
Still he laughs.
– What's on my mind, is that I am failing.
He looks at me, a skeleton smile cracking his face.
– And someone will have to take my place.
And I get the fuck out of there.
Sela's place is on Third Avenue and 13th, above a deli. She buzzes me in.
– She's asleep.
– Wake her.
The apartment is a tiny one-bedroom. The front door opens directly into a living space, doors to the kitchen, bathroom and bedroom open directly off of that. The place is done up in an ultra-feminine Middle Eastern lounge kind of thing. There's lots of pillows and rugs, mandala-printed fabric hanging from the walls, and scarves draped over lamps. Sela leaves me in the living room and passes through a beaded curtain into the bedroom. I hear her talking softly and hear some mumbled replies. She comes out and waves me over.
– Don't keep her up long, she needs her sleep.
– Yeah, tomorrows a school day.
I start for the bedroom and feel a vise clamp on my shoulder. I turn back to Sela. She takes her hand from my shoulder and puts a finger in my face.
– Whatever she was shot up with is still making her dopey. She needs her sleep.
– Yeah. Got it.
She takes her finger out of my face and I go through the curtain. The bed is a huge futon on the floor, piled with more pillows. There's a little floor space rimming the edge of the mattress, which is fine because all that's in there besides the bed is a hookah and several wicker baskets that look like they stand in for closets.
Amanda is sitting up against a mound of pillows, wearing a tattered and massive Tears for Fears T-shirt that is probably left over from Sela's more conventional youth. However long ago that might have been. She rubs her eyes.
– Hey.
I squat down next to the bed.
– Hey.
She looks around for a clock that isn't there.
– What time is it?
– After two.
– Hn.
My leg starts to throb where the bullet went in. I ease myself down and sit on the edge of the futon.
– You OK?
– Yeah. But I feel tired all the time.
– Sela taking care of you?
– Yeah, she's fierce. Says she's gonna show me a great workout so I can get arms like hers.
– Huh.
She scratches at her tangled hair.
– So what happened?
– What's the last thing you remember?
She leans deeper into the pillows and looks up at the ceiling, at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck up there in a swirl.
– We were getting ready to leave the school.
– That's it?
The air conditioner in the window gurgles and hums.
– Yeah. I think so. But I had all these dreams and it's hard to. What happened"?
I open my mouth. The truth sits inside it. And stays there.
– Some guys jumped us.
She sits up again.
– No way.
– Yeah.
– Sweet. That's so cool. Who were they?
– Some guys your dad had hired. They were following me.
– No way.
– Yeah.
– So what happened?
– You got your head bonked, went out. Concussion.
She feels her head.
– There's no bump.
– Happens that way sometimes.
– So what'd you do? Wait. There was a total fight. I. One of my dreams was like about a fight.
– Yeah.
– You kick ass?
– Not really.
– Lame.
– But one of the guys had a gun.
– No. Way.
– And I got it from him.
– Dope. That is so dope.
– Had to carry you out over my shoulder.
She buried her face in her hands.
– Uhhh. Was I heavy? Did I feel totally fat?
I watch her. She looks out from behind her hands.
– Don't be lame, kid.
She smiles.
– So what then?
Once upon a time.
– Then I figured, fuck this shit. Your folks want to send out dueling bounty hunters for you that's their business. But it's not mine. So fuck 'em.
– You didn't call?
– Fuck them.
– They don't know I'm here?
– Like I said. Fuck them.
She thrusts her arms up in the air.
– Phatl
She drops her arms and pushes herself deep into the pillow.
– That is just so phat.
I look up at the stars, and back down at her.
– So what ya gonna do?
She shakes her head.
– I. Well, I'm so broke. So I'm going to the bank and get some money. Then I want to take Sela shopping to say, like thank you. Then, I don't know. She said I can hang for as long as I want. But. I think I'll go home in a couple days. Like check in and everything. Get my folks off my case. Once they chill I can bail again. But I'll get some real cash together first. And if Sela says it's chill, I'll come hang with her some more. For like the rest of the summer. That would be so cool. She's hot. I just want to like work out with her all summer and get cut and hard before school starts.
– Good plan.
I stand up. She wriggles out of the pillow.
– So, you gonna be around? You hang with Sela much?
– Not really.
– OK.
She drops back into the pillows.
– Cool. Whatever.
– Yeah.
– Hey. Can I have that?
I look. She's pointing at the cuff bracelet still clipped to my wrist. I pull out my wallet and get out a couple picks. Cuff locks are easy, it pops right open. I squat back down.