The bastard, she thought. The absolute trashiness of him! First to torpedo her weekend without even an apology, and then to let her know that he and what’s-her-name were scooting down to Monterey for some fun, and could he bother her for his cassettes? Didn’t he think she had any feelings? She looked at the telephone in her hand as though it was emitting toads and scorpions. It was tempting to hang up on him.
She resisted the temptation. “As it happens,” she said, “I’m just on my way out for the weekend myself. But I’ve got a friend who’s here cat-sitting for me. I’ll leave the cassettes with her, okay? Her name’s Connie.”
“Fine,” Charley said. “I really appreciate that, Amanda.”
“It’s nothing,” she said.
The alien was back in the kitchen, nosing around the spice rack. But Amanda had the oregano. She said, “I’ve arranged for delivery of your next body.”
“You did?”
“A large healthy adolescent male. Exactly what you’re looking for. He’s going to be here in a little while. I’m going to go out for a drive, and you take care of him before I get back. How long does it take for you to—engulf—somebody?”
“It’s very fast.”
“Good.” Amanda found Charley’s cassettes and stacked them on the living-room table. “He’s coming over here to get these six little boxes, which are music-storage devices. When the doorbell rings, you let him in and introduce yourself as Connie and tell him his things are on this table. After that you’re on your own. You think you can handle it?”
“Sure,” the alien said.
“Tuck in your T-shirt better. When it’s tight it makes your boobs stick out, and that’ll distract him. Maybe he’ll even make a pass at you. What happens to the Connie body after you engulf him?”
“It won’t be here. What happens is I merge with him and dissolve all the Connie characteristics and take on the new ones.”
“Ah. Very nifty. You’re a real nightmare thing, you know? You’re a walking horror show. Here, have a little hit of oregano before I go.” She put a tiny pinch of spice in the alien’s hand. “Just to warm up your engine a little. I’ll give you more later, when you’ve done the job. See you in an hour, okay?”
She left the house. Macavity was sitting on the porch, scowling, whipping his tail from side to side. Amanda knelt beside him and scratched him behind the ears. The cat made a low rough purring sound, not much like his usual purr.
Amanda said, “You aren’t happy, are you, fella? Well, don’t worry. I’ve told the alien to leave you alone, and I guarantee you’ll be okay. This is Amanda’s fun tonight. You don’t mind if Amanda has a little fun, do you?” Macavity made a glum snuffling sound. “Listen, maybe I can get the alien to create a nice little calico cutie for you, okay? Just going into heat and ready to howl. Would you like that, guy? Would you? I’ll see what I call do when 1 get back. But I have to clear out of here now, before Charley shows up.”
She got into her car and headed for the westbound freeway ramp. Half past six, Friday night, the sun still hanging high above the Bay. Traffic was thick in the eastbound lanes, the late commuters slogging toward home, and it was beginning to build up westbound, too, as people set out for dinner in San Francisco. Amanda drove through the tunnel and turned north into Berkeley to cruise city streets. Ten minutes to seven now. Charley must have arrived. She imagined Connie in her tight T-shirt, all stoned and sweaty on oregano, and Charley giving her the eye, getting ideas, thinking about grabbing a bonus quickie before taking off with his cassettes. And Connie leading him on, Charley making his moves, and then suddenly that electric moment of surprise as the alien struck and Charley found himself turning into dinner. It could be happening right this minute, Amanda thought placidly No more than the bastard deserves, isn’t it? She had felt for a long time that Charley was a big mistake in her life, and after what he had pulled yesterday she was sure of it. No more than he deserves. But, she wondered, what if Charley had brought his weekend date along? The thought chilled her. She hadn’t considered that possibility at all. It could ruin everything. Connie wasn’t able to engulf two at once, was she? And suppose they recognized her as the missing alien and ran out screaming to call the cops?
No, she thought. Not even Charley would be so tacky as to bring his date over to Amanda’s house tonight. And Charley never watched the news or read a paper. He wouldn’t have a clue as to what Connie really was until it was too late for him to run.
Seven o’clock. Time to head for home.
The sun was sinking behind her as she turned onto the freeway. By quarter past she was approaching her house. Charley’s old red Honda was parked outside. Amanda left hers across the street and cautiously let herself in, pausing just inside the front door to listen.
Silence.
“Connie?”
“In here,” said Charley’s voice.
Amanda entered the living room. Charley was sprawled out comfortably on the couch. There was no sign of Connie.
“Well?” Amanda said. “How did it go?”
“Easiest thing in the world,” the alien said. “He was sliding his hands under my T-shirt when I let him have the nullifier jolt.”
“Ah. The nullifier jolt.”
“And then I completed the engulfment and cleaned up the carpet. God, it feels good not to be hungry again. You can’t imagine how tough it was to resist engulfing you, Amanda. For the past hour I kept thinking of food, food, food—”
“Very thoughtful of you to resist.”
“I knew you were out to help me. It’s logical not to engulf one’s allies.”
“That goes without saying. So you feel well fed, now? He was good stuff?”
“Robust, healthy, nourishing—yes.”
“I’m glad Charley turned out to be good for something. How long before you get hungry again?”
The alien shrugged. “A day or two. Maybe three, on account of he was so big. Give me more oregano, Amanda?”
“Sure,” she said. “Sure.” She felt a little let down. Not that she was remorseful about Charley, exactly, but it all seemed so casual, so offhanded—there was something anticlimactic about it, in a way. She suspected she should have stayed and watched while it was happening. Too late for that now, though.
She took the oregano from her purse and dangled the jar teasingly. “Here it is, babe. But you’ve got to earn it first.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that I was looking forward to a big weekend with Charley, and the weekend is here, and Charley’s here too, more or less, and I’m ready for fun. Come show me some fun, big boy.”
She slipped Charley’s Hendrix cassette into the deck and turned the volume way up.
The alien looked puzzled. Amanda began to peel off her clothes.
“You too,” Amanda said. “Come on. You won’t have to dig deep into Charley’s mind to figure out what to do. You’re going to be my Charley for me this weekend, you follow? You and I are going to do all the things that he and I were going to do. Okay? Come on. Come on.” She beckoned. The alien shrugged again and slipped out of Charley’s clothes, fumbling with the unfamiliarities of his zipper and buttons. Amanda, grinning, drew the alien close against her and down to the living-room floor. She took its hands and put them where she wanted them to be. She whispered instructions. The alien, docile, obedient, did what she wanted.
It felt like Charley. It smelled like Charley. It even moved pretty much the way Charley moved.
But it wasn’t Charley, it wasn’t Charley at all, and after the first few seconds Amanda knew that she had goofed things up very badly. You couldn’t just ring in an imitation like this. Making love with this alien was like making love with a very clever machine, or with her own mirror image. It was empty and meaningless and dumb.