“Oh yeah, it’s your turn to babysit this year.”
“Yes it is.” She’d sighed heavily. “I could really do with some alone time with Braden tonight.”
“I know what you mean.” I’d gone on to tell her everything that had not been happening between Cam and me.
“Why have you been keeping this to yourself? Are you okay?”
Her concern made tears prick my eyes and I was glad I’d found an empty room in the house we were working on. I did not want to be overheard by my colleague Deacon. “It’s just six weeks.”
“That’s a lot for you two. And it’s not just the sex. When was the last time you had an actual conversation?”
“I can’t remember. It’s just been a lot of hellos and goodbyes. I knew things would be hard while he tries to make a name for himself at the company but I don’t like this, Joss. I don’t like feeling like I don’t know what’s going on with my own husband. And the fact that he doesn’t even seem to be bothered is more than a little terrifying.”
“He’s probably just preoccupied. But you have to talk to him, Jo. Otherwise this will just build up into a huge ball of fiery resentment and that will not end well. I promise.” She sighed. “You know what you should do? Surprise him. Look, Braden and I had reservations for La Cour tonight because he forgot about the whole babysitting thing. I’ll see if we can transfer the reservation to your name. Ask Mick or Cam’s parents to look after Belle tonight and then go and surprise Cam at work, take him out for the night and then take him home and break this dry spell.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I’ll text you to let you know if we can get the table for you.”
“Great. Thanks, Joss.”
And she did text me and we did get the table. After arranging to have my uncle Mick and his wife Dee take Belle I finished up early at work, got home, showered, put on a slinky sequined T-shirt dress and heels and grabbed a cab that took me across New Town to Cam’s office.
Standing outside it was when I was hit with the butterflies. Butterflies. All because I was going on a date with my husband.
Yeah. He and I really needed to sort this out between us. As much as I was still filled with anticipation anytime he and I went on dates (not that I could remember the last time that happened), butterflies were a thing of the past. And I was happy they were. Their absence spoke of my security with Cam, something that I never thought I’d have with any man since I was unbelievably riddled with insecurities when Cam first met me.
The return of the butterflies was a bad sign.
An omen, one might say.
I went to buzz into the building but the door opened and two guys in suits came out, smiled at me and held the door open for me. I smiled back, feeling a flush of pleasure as one of them held my gaze a little too long.
I loved my husband and I didn’t want anyone else but I had to admit, as someone who used to rely solely on my looks because I didn’t think I had anything else going for me, it was flattering when men still looked at me. Especially at the moment when I felt almost invisible at home. I was almost thirty three, I’d had a baby, and while my husband just got better looking with age, I’d started to notice wrinkles around my eyes, that my breasts weren’t as perky as they had been pre-Belle, and I’d even plucked out a few gray hairs in amongst my long strawberry blonde locks.
I knew Cam loved me, but I also still wanted him to want me. And I definitely wanted him to notice me.
Bolstered by the handsome guy in the suit and his appreciation, I smoothed my hands down my dress that twinkled beneath my coat, ready for Cam to see it and get that look in his eyes that I loved.
Taking the lift to his floor, I tried to stem the butterflies, kind of aggravated by them now.
“Excuse me.” I stopped a woman who was leaving the now almost empty office. “I’m looking for Cameron MacCabe.”
She smiled at me. “Through the door on the left. You can’t miss his desk.”
I nodded my thanks and followed her instructions.
I almost wished I hadn’t, my aggravation increasing a million fold when I stepped into the open plan office to find my husband sprawled casually back in his chair, gazing up at the brunette sitting on his desk.
My eyes travelled over the young woman, my blood heating as I took in every detail of her. She was younger than me, in her early twenties, and she was sitting on my husband’s desk with her slim legs crossed, her grey skirt riding up her thighs. Her pretty face was framed by poker straight shiny light brown hair, and she was focused completely on Cameron.
I knew that look.
Back in the day, before Cam arrived and saved me from an empty life, I used to wear that look when I’d targeted a man I was determined to make mine.
It was a predator’s flirty, sexy, seductive look.
My stomach dropped.
I took two slow steps toward them, my feet feeling heavy as I watched Cam’s reaction to her. He kept his distance physically, and his smile was only just friendlier than polite. He seemed interested in what she had to say… but most importantly he was here with her instead of at home with me.
The last three months of little affection, of distance, of late nights... the last six weeks of no sex at all… it all pooled together into my mind as I walked toward them and the awful suspicions planted themselves there as much as I hated myself for thinking it of him.
He would never… he would never betray me.
But was he thinking about it?
Did he want to?
I swallowed past the sudden lump in my throat as I neared and Cameron caught sight of me out of the corner of his eyes. He jerked his head toward me, surprise slackening his features.
“Jo.” He stood up with ease and the brunette turned to look at me, her eyes narrowing as they swept over me. “Sweetheart, what are you doing here?”
I stared at him, still struggling to speak past the emotion choking me, and then I stared at her.
“Jo, this is Ally, one of the creatives.” Cam gestured to her and she slid gracefully off his desk. She didn’t hold her hand out to me but gave me a nod, her eyes dimming with disappointment as she took me in. “Ally, this is my wife Johanna.”
Since she didn’t offer any of the normal pleasantries such as ‘nice to meet you’ I didn’t either.
I turned back to Cam. “I wanted to surprise you for Valentine’s Day. I got us reservations for dinner.”
“Shit.” He winced, eyes filled with remorse. “Sweetheart, Valentine’s Day.”
Yes, I was very aware that he’d forgotten. “Valentine’s Day,” I murmured.
“Let me just shut everything down.”
“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, Cam,” Ally said, smiling at him. She gave me a little nod as she strode by, swinging her hips in exaggeration.
My husband didn’t watch her leave and that was probably a good thing. I might have killed him if he did.
Once he’d grabbed his coat we walked out of the office together. He placed his hand on my lower back to lead me out and I tensed.
He sighed once we were in the lift alone. “I can’t even believe you’re thinking what you’re thinking right now.”
I stared straight ahead, trying to keep a hold on my emotions. “I’m thinking I’ve barely spoken two words to my husband in months because he’s always working late. Tonight would have been another night you were late home and I’m suddenly realizing it’s not because of work. It’s because you’re having flirty conversations with a girl ten years younger than your wife.”
“That’s not even… that’s ridiculous,” he huffed, sounding exhausted.
“Tonight it was the truth.” I turned to look at him as the doors to lift opened. “Tonight would have been more time away from me and Belle, and for what? To talk with Ally?”
He stared at me, a spark of guilt there. “I never thought of it that way. I’m sorry. But we were talking about work. I promise. It’s nothing more than that, Jo.”
Chest aching as I realized how badly the growing distance between us had impacted on me I suddenly wanted to bury my head in the sand. “Let’s just go eat.” I strode out of the lift and Cam followed me outside. We were quiet as we waited for a cab to come along with its light on. Once we found one we got inside and I gave the driver our destination.