were with those two broads down in Palm Springs? I swear to you I wasn't jealous
about what happened. I was glad. You believe me, Johnny?"
Johnny said reassuringly, "Sure, Nino, I believe you."
Lucy and Jules looked at each other. From everything they had heard and knew about
Johnny Fontane it seemed impossible that he would take a girl away from a close friend
like Nino. And why was Nino saying he wasn't jealous a year after it happened? The
same thought crossed both their minds, that Nino was drinking himself to death
romantically because a girl had left him to go with Johnny Fontane.
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Jules checked Nino again. "I'll get a nurse to be in the room with you tonight," Jules
said. "You really have to stay in bed for a couple of days. No kidding."
Nino smiled. "OK, Doc, just don't make the nurse too pretty."
Jules made a call for the nurse and then he and Lucy left. Johnny sat in a chair near
the bed to wait for the nurse. Nino was falling asleep again, an exhausted look on his
face. Johnny thought about what he had said, about not being jealous about what had
happened over a year ago with those two broads down in Palm Springs. The thought
had never entered his head that Nino might be jealous.
A year ago Johnny Fontane had sat in his plush office, the office of the movie
company he headed, and felt as lousy as he had ever felt in his life. Which was
surprising because the first movie he had produced, with himself as star and Nino in a
featured part, was making tons of money. Everything had worked. Everybody had done
their job. The picture was brought in under budget. Everybody was going to make a
fortune out of it and Jack Woltz was losing ten years of his life. Now Johnny had two
more pictures in production, one starring himself, one starring Nino. Nino was great on
the screen as one of those charming, dopey lover-boys that women loved to shove
between their tits. Little boy lost. Everything he touched made money, it was rolling in.
The Godfather was getting his percentage through the bank, and that made Johnny feel
really good. He had justified his Godfather's faith. But today that wasn't helping much.
And now that he was a successful independent movie producer he had as much
power, maybe more, than he had ever had as a singer. Beautiful broads fell all over him
just like before, though for a more commercial reason. He had his own plane, he lived
more lavishly even, with the special tax benefits a businessman had that artists didn't
get. Then what the hell was bothering him?
He knew what it was. The front of his head hurt, his nasal passages hurt, his throat
itched. The only way he could scratch and relieve that itch was by singing and he was
afraid to even try. He had called Jules Segal about it, when it would be safe to try to
sing and Jules had said anytime he felt like it. So he'd tried and sounded so hoarse and
lousy he'd given up. And his throat would hurt like hell the next day, hurt in a different
way than before the warts had been taken off. Hurt worse, burning. He was afraid to
keep singing, afraid that he'd lose his voice forever, or ruin it.
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And if he couldn't sing, what the hell was the use of everything else? Everything else
was just bullshit. Singing was the only thing he really knew. Maybe he knew more about
singing and his kind of music than anybody else in the world. He was that good, he
realized now. All those years had made him a real pro. Nobody could tell him the right
and the wrong, he didn't have to ask anybody. He knew. What a waste, what a damn
waste.
It was Friday and he decided to spend the weekend with Virginia and the kids. He
called her up as he always did to tell her he was coming. Really to give her a chance to
say no. She never said no. Not in all the years they had been divorced. Because she
would never say no to a meeting of her daughters and their father. What a broad,
Johnny thought. He'd been lucky with Virginia. And though he knew he cared more
about her than any other woman he knew it was impossible for them to live together
sexually. Maybe when they were sixty-five, like when you retire, they'd retire together,
retire from everything.
But reality shattered these thoughts when he arrived there and found Virginia was
feeling a little grouchy herself and the two girls not that crazy to see him because they
had been promised a weekend visit with some girl friends on a California ranch where
they could ride horses.
He told Virginia to send the girls off to the ranch and kissed them good-bye with an
amused smile. He understood them so well. What kid wouldn't rather go riding horses
on a ranch than hang around with a grouchy father who picked his own spots as a
father. He said to Virginia, "I'll have a few drinks and then I'll shove off too."
"All right," she said. She was having one of her bad days, rare, but recognizable. It
wasn't too easy for her leading this kind of life.
She saw him taking an extra large drink. "What are you cheering yourself up for?"
Virginia asked. "Everything is going so beautifully for you. I never dreamed you had it in
you to be such a good businessman."
Johnny smiled at her. "It's not so hard," he said. At the same time he was thinking, so
that's what was wrong. He understood women and he understood now that Virginia was
down because she thought he was having everything his own way. Women really hated
seeing their men doing too well. It irritated them. It made them less sure of the hold they
exerted over them through affection, sexual custom or marriage ties. So more to cheer
her up than voice his own complaints, Johnny said, "What the hell difference does it
make if I can't sing."
Virginia's voice was annoyed. "Oh, Johnny, you're not a kid anymore. You're over
thirty-five. Why do you keep worrying about that silly singing stuff? You make more
money as a producer anyhow."
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Johnny looked at her curiously and said, "I'm a singer. I love to sing. What's being old
got to do with that?"
Virginia was impatient. "I never liked your singing anyway. Now that you've shown you
can make movies, I'm glad you can't sing anymore."
They were both surprised when Johnny said with fury, "That's a fucking lousy thing to
say." He was shaken. How could Virginia feel like that, how could she dislike him so
much?
Virginia smiled at his being hurt and because it was so outrageous that he should be
angry at her she said, "How do you think I felt when all those girls came running after
you because of the way you sang? How would you feel if I went ass-naked down the
street to get men running after me? That's what your singing was and I used to wish
you'd lose your voice and could never sing again. But that was before we got divorced."
Johnny finished his drink. "You don't understand a thing. Not a damn thing." He went
into the kitchen and dialed Nino's number. He quickly arranged for them both to go
down to Palm Springs for the weekend and gave Nino the number of a girl to call, a real
fresh young beauty he'd been meaning to get around to. "She'll have a friend for you,"
Johnny said. "I'll be at your place in an hour."
Virginia gave him a cool good-bye when he left. He didn't give a damn, it was one of
the few times he was angry with her. The hell with it, he'd just tear loose for the
weekend and get all the poison out of his system.
Sure enough, everything was fine down in Palm Springs. Johnny used his own house
down there, it was always kept open and staffed this time of year. The two girls were
young enough to be great fun and not too rapacious for some kind of favor. Some