“No, Master. I guess I’m a bit tired. Without Master Flavius, the trip felt longer.”
“Let's start, then. I need you to translate this text. You can go to work at that small table, and I will take care of other documents here.” Marcus Tiberius handed him a pile of written papers.
Saul looked at them and replied in a quiet voice. “Yes, Master,” and went to his workstation, wishing to forget the bitterness in his heart.
He could not understand why he felt bitter, and what was the real reason for it. Then an idea grew in his mind, an idea that scared him.
He was envious because, one year ago, he was supposed to have had the same life and opportunities as Flavius—but now everything was lost forever.
Saul was aware that he should have adjusted to his new life and be thankful to God that he was sold to a good Master. However, as he saw Flavius leaving with Rufus, excited about his career opportunity, Saul felt incredibly sad in his heart.
Raising his gaze toward Marcus Tiberius, he watched him work, oblivious to what happened around him. Saul felt comforted by the view of his Master with a creased forehead, dedicated to his work. It gave a sort of relief to his restless soul. The man embodied the difference between a miserable fate and Saul’s present life. and again, he squirmed at the realization of being ungrateful, for complaining about the life that man gave him.
Saul shook his head and tried to concentrate on his work, hoping to forget his futile complaints, and for a while, he was entirely absorbed in his duties.
“Saul,” called Marcus Tiberius.
“Yes, Master.”
“You looked worried. Do you have something to share with me?”
Afraid his thoughts were too loud, reaching his Master’s heart, he shook his head. “Why does your head say no, but your eyes say yes?”
“Because my thoughts are not worth mentioning, Master.”
Marcus Tiberius smiled at him. “How is your work proceeding?”
“I’m almost ready.” Saul beamed proudly and returned his attention to his work. Minutes later, he stood and handed the papers back. “Now, I’m done.”
Marcus Tiberius looked closely at the translations, “Very well, Saul, very well, but I’d like to know everything that goes through your mind. Tell me your worries.”
“I feel ashamed of them.” Saul lowered his gaze to avoid looking into his eyes.
“I gave you an order. You don’t have any right to disobey me,” Marcus Tiberius reminded him.
“I felt envious of Master Flavius, for he is everything I once used to be,” Saul said, lowering his gaze and twisting his fingers.
Marcus Tiberius frowned at Saul and grabbed his hands in his own. “Forget the past; that life does not belong to you anymore. Now you are my slave in my house. When I brought you here, I stated explicitly that you were something that I own; you replied you understood. This happened about one year ago.”
“I know, Master, and I’m terribly sorry about these thoughts. I’m doing my best to acclimate to my new life. Please don’t be upset, Master. I'll try harder not to disappoint you.”
Marcus Tiberius caressed his face with the back of his hand. “I’m not going to punish you. I know you are a smart boy, and I expect you to fit perfectly into your new life.”
A profound sense of shame and guilt pervaded Saul’s heart. He didn’t deserve such a kind Master if he could not be the slave he needed.
Tears fell from his eyes. “You need a better slave, Master,” Saul whispered.
“I already have the slave I’m looking for.” Marcus Tiberius held him and stroke his silky hair.
Saul relaxed against him, as the gentle stroking soothed his pain away. He hoped the shame grabbing his soul would disappear as well.
“Thank you, Master,” he muttered, hoping not to be heard as he meant it only for himself.
“Wipe your eyes, Saul,” ordered Marcus Tiberius in a gentle tone. When he complied, his Master said, “I don’t need your services anymore. Soon my son will be home, and if I know him as I think I do, he will ask for you. You know your duty. Remember your place and what you are. Don’t make me punish you,” he warned.
“No, Master.” Saul bowed and left the room.
He felt hopeless; he needed to talk to Caleb, but he was busy with other duties. What am I going to do?
A voice interrupted his thoughts. “Saul, just the person I wanted to see. Come, I need to tell you everything,” Flavius yelled.
They walked together to Flavius’ room. “How was your day?” he asked, hoping to gain some of his Master’s excitement for himself.
“For Juno, I had the most hectic and greatest day of my life. Lucius Claudius Blasio is an incredible person. He is such a talented lawyer, and I have so much to learn from him,” Flavius said in ecstasy walking around the room randomly, making it difficult for Saul to follow him.
“So what do you think? Would you like to become a lawyer?”
“It is still too soon to know. I will decide after the period with Publius Julius Fulvianus. I already know it will be a difficult choice, especially if the experience I have with him is as great as the one I had today.”
Saul smiled, but his soul was tormented. Flavius grabbed him by the shoulders. “What’s going on?”
Saul hugged him, grabbing tightly to his toga. “Flavius, I can’t do this anymore,” he wept, barely holding back the tears.
Flavius couldn’t understand what he meant, but he held him tightly. Sitting on the bed with him.
Saul avoided his eyes.
“Saul, please tell me what’s wrong,” Flavius said, caressing his cheek.
“I can’t be your friend; can’t you see? Your father bought me as a slave. I can’t act like a friend with you and as a slave with your parents. Please, I need you to understand me. If you truly are my friend as you claim, then I am begging you to be my Master and behave as a Master is supposed to,” Saul pleaded.
Flavius felt the need to do something to help him. He thought he was already helping him by behaving like a friend, or maybe he was just helping himself without considering the needs of his slave.
Disconcerted, he remained silent for a while. “I’ll make a deal with you, as I think I understand what you mean. I will behave as a Master, but I will be waiting until you are ready to be my friend. When that day comes, call my name and I will understand.”
Saul had thought it would be harder to convince Flavius to behave like his father.
“Yes, Master,” Saul replied, feeling like a weight had been lifted off him, happy his Master understood.
Flavius smirked at his confusion. “Very well, Slave, now help me change,” he ordered.
Saul sighed relieved and helped his Master change from the toga to a more comfortable tunic.
“You can go now. I don’t need you at the moment. If I do, I will call you.”
“Yes, Master.”
After Saul left the room, Flavius shook his head. “I hope you know better than me what’s best,” he murmured to himself and left to meet his father.
“Flavius, I thought you were entertaining yourself with Saul,” said Marcus Tiberius, surprised to see his son so early.
“I dismissed your slave. I had better things to do, and I wanted to tell you everything about the day I had with Lucius Claudius Blasio.”
The sudden change in attitude toward Saul made Marcus Tiberius suspicious. Only the day before, he treated him as a friend, riding horses together and spending all his time with him. Then, suddenly, he indifferently cast him aside like an obsolete item.
“What happened between you and Saul? Did he misbehave?” Marcus Tiberius asked sternly
“No, Father. He is one of the best slaves you ever purchased. Why are you asking?”