“Because the winner was sacrificed and got to be with the gods.”
“Raymond isn’t with the gods.”
“No. Nor is Drummond. He’s in hell, where he deserves to be,” Buchanan said. “He reminds me of the colonel.”
“The colonel?”
Buchanan hesitated. “What happened at the drilling site is yours. Write about it. Just leave me out of it. But what I’m going to tell you now is off the record.”
“Hey, if you don’t know enough to trust me by now. .”
Buchanan hesitated again, then made a decision. “Maybe trust is another part of what it means to be human. I certainly trusted you back there in the ball court. You were convincing, and yet I believed you were acting when you said that you’d stayed with me just because of the story.”
“And I trusted you, even when you told Drummond that you didn’t care if I died. All I did was believe you were acting and follow your lead, but I didn’t know where we were going. What did you hope to accomplish?”
“Raymond had part of it right. I wanted them to be so confused that they’d have to keep us alive until they figured out which one of us was telling the truth. Eventually, they’d have been tempted to try those telephone numbers we gave them, and the automatic trace would have led the colonel’s hit team in this direction. With luck, we’d have still been alive.”
“Chancy.”
“No kidding. In that kind of situation, there aren’t any long-term plans. But you and I sure made a good team.”
“Well, I had a good teacher,” Holly said.
“I was telling you about my commanding officer. The colonel and Drummond are very much alike. The colonel has a goal, and nothing matters except achieving it.”
“But that’s standard military discipline.”
“No. The military has ethics. Politicians don’t. It’s politicians who give soldiers immoral goals. But sometimes a soldier like the colonel comes along and. .” Buchanan’s fragile strength waned. Only his angry thoughts kept him going. “I’m beginning to think that it was the colonel who had Jack and Cindy Doyle killed. And Bailey. Because of the photographs you took of me with the colonel. Because he was afraid he’d be identified as the director of Scotch and Soda and his career would be ruined. Also, I think it was the colonel who arranged to have me knifed in New Orleans. So you wouldn’t have anybody to question. So the story would die with me. He turned against his own to protect himself. Maybe he’s getting kickbacks from the drug deals that Scotch and Soda is making in Latin America. Who the hell knows? But one day, I’ll find out. And one day, the colonel will have to justify himself to me.”
“What about Juana?”
“Drummond’s men will stop looking for her now that he’s dead and they’re not being paid. Knowing how skilled she became at disguising her appearance, I don’t think I can ever find her.”
“But do you intend to keep trying?”
“You mean, does she still matter to me?”
Holly nodded.
“Yes,” Buchanan said.
Holly lowered her eyes.
“But not the way you matter,” Buchanan said.
Holly looked up.
“She’s a friend who needed help, and for too long in my life, I wasn’t able to help friends I’d known under other identities. I need to find out that she’s safe. My guess is, once she learns that Drummond and Delgado are dead, she’ll gradually come into the open. I look forward to seeing her again.” Buchanan touched her arm. “But I swear to you, she’s not your rival.”
Holly felt overwhelmed by emotion. “What happens to us now?”
“One thing’s certain. The colonel will never find us here.”
“True. That’s certainly looking on the bright side.”
“Is it so bad here?”
“With you. No,” Holly said. “Strange. As beat up as you look, there’s something about. . your eyes. Even though you’re angry about the colonel, you seem at peace.”
“I’m myself.”
Holly frowned in confusion.
“Something’s missing from me,” Buchanan said. “Maybe it’s because of everything we’ve been through. Or maybe it’s because of you. Or. . When the medicine man drilled into my skull, I think he took out more than blood. I think he took out whatever was in my head that tortured me for so long. I’ve come to terms with the past. I want to move on. With you. What matters now isn’t the past but the present.” Buchanan squeezed Holly’s hand. “And the future. No more trying to run from myself. No more assumed identities.”
“It’ll be a pleasure getting to know you,” Holly said.
“I’m kind of curious about it myself.”
“Yes.” Holly kissed him. “It’s what I’ve been waiting for.”