“Christ.”
“Don’t worry, Eugene. They’re looking for our old car, with different plates from a different state. We’ll lose them.” Both were silent while Pamela reflected on the new circumstances. Looks like Ray and Cassandra will finally have a chance to earn their keep.
“What did you mean by hogs?” Eugene said.
“The Hogs. They’re ex-blues; really vicious. We may have to do something to slow them down. They’re about ten minutes behind. Turn right about two miles ahead, and increase your speed a bit. That’s it. Not too much. We don’t want to attract unneeded attention. Good.”
Eugene turned off onto a side road and Pamela told him to keep going at the speed limit of forty.
“Ray, it’s Pamela. We’re on Page Street, traveling east. Let me know where the Hogs go.”
Ray grabbed a map, looking for an alternative route to take. The Hogs were out of sight. They didn’t want them to think they were being followed.
“Pamela, Ray. I’m not sure where the Hogs are. We’ll meet you at the rendezvous point.”
Ray spotted Pamela’s car and parked behind her.
“It looks like we lost them,” Ray said, “but they may double back this way. According to the map, we’re in Page. Let’s hope there’s a motel here where we can hide out for a while.”
Then, unexpectedly, they heard the sounds of motorcycle engines. The Hogs were coming. They quickly ducked into their cars and waited for them to go by.
“We better find that motel and lay low for a while,” Ray said.
Pamela glanced over to Eugene. He looked straight ahead; scared.
Chapter 15:
The Face of the Devil
“Tell me how much you love me,” Catherine said, playfully.
Catherine was in a sexy negligée, flirting with her husband. He smiled as he tenderly embraced her. She caressed his scrotum, arousing him. They kissed passionately, and Eugene drank in all the love she had for him. He closed his eyes, fell into her arms, and passionately kissed her. When their lips parted, and his eyes opened, he stared into the face of Jaydan Casimir. All he saw were gleaming white teeth surrounded by rotting flesh.
Casimir leered at him with an evil grin. “I have your wife,” he said, and then laughed. He grabbed Eugene’s head and forced his lips to his own. Eugene fought and moaned, but Jaydan’s grip was too strong. Finally, he pushed him away and stared at him, grinning broadly, with worms coming out of his putrefying lips. “Now, I have you too.”
Eugene screamed in terror, but Jaydan still had his arms around his head, laughing. He tried to get away, screaming until the grip lessened and became more tender.
“Eugene, what’s wrong? Please, talk to me.”
He was sitting in the middle of the motel room floor. His hands were clasped behind his head, slumped down, rocking back and forth, and acting as if he’d lost his mind.
Then suddenly he stopped bawling and looked up at her. “I’m sorry, Pamela. I must have had a nightmare. I’ll be all right.”
She helped him up to his bed. He seemed calmer as he turned to her in embarrassment, and then stood up and began walking around his room. “Everything is gone,” flicking his arm this way and that way. “It’s all gone: my wife, my job, my family; everyone and everything that meant anything to me. They’re all gone.”
He stopped and stared at Pamela with a frightening look on his face. “But that’s not the worst of it. Was it ever real? Was it all a lie? Was I just deceiving myself about everything?”
Pamela just stared at him.
Eugene paused and looked down as if searching his mind. Then he looked up at Pamela again. “You must think I’m crazy. I loved my wife, but I started to hate her when she started drinking heavily.” He started to cover his face and looked away. “Oh God, I started to hate her. What a selfish prick. I didn’t understand, maybe I didn’t want to understand.” Eugene was sobbing heavily at this point. “I tried to get her to go to AA. She wasn’t an alcoholic. Why didn’t I realize that? Something was clearly happening to her, but she couldn’t tell me. She couldn’t tell me because I think she knew I wouldn’t understand, that I wasn’t ready to. I was selfish, Pamela. I wanted my dream girl back—for my own pleasure. I couldn’t or didn’t want to pierce the veil Catherine put between us. I didn’t want to see what was behind it. I only wanted what pleased me.”
Pamela rushed over to him and put her arm around his shoulders. “Gene, it’s understandable. Let it go, sweetheart. Don’t let it eat you up.”
“But it does. And it isn’t just Catherine. It’s worse still. Every day I would curse the neighborhoods I passed through, but it was my own work that helped create them. I got them into sex, drugs, and gambling. I set up the books for them. I’d suggest things like life enhancement activities. I’d provide the accounting categories for them that made these activities seem perfectly legitimate without some CEO having to refer to them as they really are. He wouldn’t have to sully himself with what he was actually doing.”
Eugene looked up at Pamela with sad eyes as if seeking forgiveness while admitting his sins. “I was offered a promotion—the very thing I wanted most of all—and I would have taken it too. You know what it was? I’d be the number two man in the company. I would have a house in the Fortress. I could watch the azaleas bloom. All I had to do was lead the country into further ruin. And I would have taken the job too. Christ, Pamela, the very thing that gave my life meaning, destroyed it for everyone else. Now my life is gone too, and I don’t know how to replace it. I know New America doesn’t have these problems, but I think I’ve lost my soul.”
Pamela looked on in silent anguish.
“It was all a lie. The whole world… my whole world was disintegrating, and all I could think of was that damn promotion, a home in the fortress, and lovely, beautiful Catherine. I didn’t care about anyone or anything else. I didn’t care, Pamela.” He began sobbing openly as he sat back on the bed, covering his face in shame.
Then he stopped crying, turned to her, red-faced and tear-stained with goggled eyes. He stood up as if to make a grand announcement. Looking at her, now sorrowfully, he spoke with a raised voice. “I WANT MY WORLD BACK! I don’t want to go anywhere else.” Then he crumbled to the floor again, his back leaning against the bed, the palms of his hands against his forehead, elbows against his knees, and crying. “I can’t take it anymore, Pamela. Prison, Hell House, Hogs. When does it end? I can’t find meaning in my life anymore. I’m an empty shell. I hate myself, but I want that mad, decadent life back again. I want my naiveté back. I want my ignorance back. I want sober, lovely Catherine back. I want to feel good again.”
Pamela knelt down beside him, putting her arm around him and hugging him tightly, crying as well.
“I’m dead, aren’t I? I mean spiritually dead. I can’t have it back and I shouldn’t want it back. I don’t want to be selfish old Gene. I don’t want to use people for my own comfort, but there is nothing else for me. Maybe I should just let them change me. Maybe I could stand the pain—others did. I’d fit in. They could make me forget Zinney. Then they’d never fear I’m going to start some revolution.”
Eugene continued to look at Pamela wearing a somber expression. “They could make me forget Catherine. I wouldn’t have to face the pain of guilt or loss. I could have that promotion. I could fall in love again. This time, have a family of my own. Life would be good. I wouldn’t feel guilty about what I was doing to others. I wouldn’t even care. Let’s go back, Pamela. I could call Dennis up and tell him I’ll take Hell House. I’d cooperate. They wouldn’t have to beat me.”