“You really have no choice.”
I sigh. “You were willing to go on a trip with me and have sex?”
“I was.”
“Would you still?”
She laughs. “What do you think?”
“I think Plan B sucks. We could’ve had a great trip, you would’ve been happy with a hundred grand, and I would have gotten laid.”
“Such is life.”
“Please?” I say. “It would make me feel a helluva lot better about this.”
“Don’t beg, Gideon.”
“I’m not begging. Remember the advice you gave me? I’m being persistent. If necessary, I’ll be relentless!”
She thinks a minute. Then smiles and says, “I’ll make you a deal.”
50
“Tell me,” I say.
“I like the idea of this being a civil transaction,” she says.
“Me too.”
“You’ve got a safe in your bedroom closet.”
“No I don’t.”
“It’s built into the floor, under the carpet.”
“I’ll say it again. Damn, you’re good.”
“How much cash is in it?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Rough estimate.”
“Thirty-five.”
“Thousand?”
I nod.
“Wow,” she says. “Okay, so the number’s still two-fifty, but it’ll take time to gather that much cash without raising suspicion.”
“I agree.”
“I’m told the bank won’t report checks you cash for transactions under ten grand.”
“I think that’s right.”
“I’ll take the thirty-five up front and put it in a safe deposit box. You’ll open new accounts at five different banks and write three checks a week for nine thousand each, spread among the different banks. That’s twenty-seven grand. Once a week we’ll go to the track and you’ll piss away up to five thousand dollars. The balance of the money will go in my safe deposit box. When that amount hits a hundred grand, I’ll have sex with you once a week until we hit two-fifty.”
“Really?”
“I think it’s fair.”
“Why do we have to go to the track?”
“The banks will wonder what you’re doing with all that cash. People will see us at the track, you’ll tell them your new girlfriend loves the ponies, and the word will spread.”
“I’d rather go to Atlantic City and shoot craps.”
“Bad plan.”
“Why?”
“Casinos keep detailed records.”
“I’ll say it a third time.”
“I’m good?”
I nod.
She looks at me with interest.
“You’re taking this awfully well,” she says.
I shrug my shoulders. “What can I say? I’m lonely.”
She nods. “Lonely’s tough.”
“Would you consider living with me while I’m raising the money?”
“I’d be honored.”
“That’s pretty civil of you.”
“I’m not an unreasonable person,” she says.
“Can I have anal?”
“Did you seriously just ask me that?”
“Yes.”
“No.”
Epilogue
I
It should have taken ten weeks to siphon a quarter million into Willow’s safe deposit box, but I managed to stretch it to fourteen by pretending the banks were asking too many questions.
Willow remained true to her word.
She lived with me and gave me sex once a week after receiving the first hundred grand. When she left, she hugged me and said she’d be in touch about the garage door opener. I figured to spend a very nervous couple of weeks waiting, but she surprised me by calling a few hours later.
“You’re already safe?” I said.
“I’m in the air, flying somewhere far away,” she said. “So yes, I feel safe.”
“Maybe when you get settled I could come visit you.”
She laughs. “I don’t miss you that much.”
“Where’s Kathy’s garage door opener?”
She waited for me to get a pen and paper, then gave me a phone number.
“Who am I calling?”
“I want it to be a surprise.”
“Okay.”
“Gideon?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
I pause.
“Take care, Willow.”
“You too, Gideon.”
A quiet moment passes.
Willow says, “You didn’t hang up.”
“Neither did you.”
“Why is that, do you suppose?”
“We’re wondering if we’ll ever talk to each other again.”
“Yes.”
“You think we will?” I say.
“No.”
II
The phone number belonged to a lady who had twin boys. She put them on the line.
“Hi Dr. Box!” Carlos said.
“Hi handsome!” Charlie said.
“Hi guys. You’ve got something for me? A garage door opener?”
They did.
Turns out Willow swung by their place after killing Cameron. The twins don’t know that, but I do. She gave them five grand for their gun and their promise to keep the garage door opener safe until she called to tell them what to do with it.
So I took a quick trip to Dayton, intending to get the evidence and catch the next plane back to NYC. But the return trip was delayed when the twins made me take them out to dinner at a fancy restaurant with white linen tablecloths and candles.
I didn’t mind. After all, how often do I get to go out with friends?
Our dinners were prepared tableside, and Charlie fairly swooned watching the waiter fuss over us. The wine flowed freely, and when I ordered the boys a flaming desert, Charlie cried.
They gave me the door opener and never asked the first question about it.
I liked that about them.
III
Rose and Melba assisted me on the Addie Gray surgery, which went perfectly. Afterward, Kathleen found me in my office and asked if there was anything she could possibly do to repay me. I asked for a blow job and she obliged, right on the spot.
I’m kidding.
Kathleen did ask what she could do, and I said nothing, it was all part of the job. But she insisted on taking me to lunch, so I let her, thinking this could lead to something.
“How is it a beautiful, young woman like you is still single?” I asked.
And wished I hadn’t.
She droned on and on about some CIA guy she loved.
“Donovan Creed,” she said, wistfully.
They were planning to get married and raise the little girl she adopted, the one who was burned so badly in a house fire years ago.
Addie.
“What happened with you and this Creed character?”
“The agency claimed he was killed.”
“You sound like you don’t believe them.”
“I don’t.”
“Maybe you’re in denial.”
“He’s living in Las Vegas,” she says.
“You’re sure?”
“I Googled him. He recently purchased property there.”
“Have you called him?”
“Of course not!”
“Why?”
“He abandoned us.”
“He’s an asshole,” I said.
She smiled. “You’re right. He’s a complete and utter asshole.”
“But you love him?”
“Hopelessly,” she said. “And I always will.”
“You never dated again? Never fell in love?”
“I actually married a guy. But it didn’t work out.”
“Why not?”
“My heart wasn’t in it.”
“Before or after you Googled Creed?”
“After.”
When the waiter brought the check Kathleen leaned over to reach for it and I caught a down-blouse. The view was nice enough to give me the confidence to see if I could exploit a possible opening.
“Here’s a coincidence,” I said. “Every woman I’ve ever dated told me I was the world’s biggest asshole.”
She shook her head and said, “Nice try.”
IV
My time with Rose is winding down. She’s determined to leave, and no amount of money will convince her to stay. I have no idea what she plans to do in five months and hope whatever it is, she’ll tell me, because maybe I’ll be able to do it, too. With her capable help I’ve saved seven boys and four girls the other doctors gave up on, and I’ve been forced against my will to grace several magazine covers. Money’s flowing into the hospital, and I’m back to working only the hopeless cases, which of course, makes me crazy. I take some comfort from the giant velvet Elvis painting that hangs on the wall of my living room where my shoe photos used to be, but there’s only so much art can do to calm me down, you know?