But she wasn’t making him feel it. Not now.
He thought, Maybe you’re the one that’s different. Become something else. And she’s the same girl who ran off to take care of lepers.
He believed he might have another vodka, one more, get ready for whatever. But then heard her behind him and looked around to see her in the lamplight holding something against her leg. She sank to her knees almost in front of him, watching him, and placed a nickel-plated revolver on the coffee table.
She said, “Now I’m part of this.”
He kept quiet, looking at the gun. It would have to be her dad’s. A .38 with a two-inch barrel. He wondered if it was loaded. He looked at Lucy.
Staring at him.
She said, “I learned something from Jerry Boylan. Or some of him rubbed off on me. Not anything he said, but the fact of the man, what he was, and the fact of the way he died.”
“Did you like him?”
She paused. “Yes, I liked him.”
“Did you trust him?”
“No, but that’s part of it. Why should he want to help us? He had his own cause, and that’s what I learned from him. You have to take sides, Jack. You can’t stand outside and reach in for what you want. You have to commit to something. You and I were talking about what we are. Remember? In the restaurant. While Jerry Boylan was being murdered for what he was.”
“Do you want to know why he died?” Jack said. “Because he didn’t look behind him. That’s the fact of Jerry Boylan. He wasn’t careful.”
“But he was there because he believed in something. And it wasn’t just the money.”
“What did he tell us? If he wasn’t doing this he’d be sweeping rubbish. And if I weren’t here I’d be picking up dead bodies. You’d be giving lepers their medicine and Roy would be making drinks for tourists… But if we’re not in it for the score, what are we? How do you see us?”
“We don’t need a label, Jack, or initials like the IRA.” Sitting back on her legs, looking up at him. “Or the FDN, the contras. It’s enough to say we’re against that, what they stand for.”
He looked at the revolver. “And pack a gun.”
She said, “There’s a big difference between packing a gun and taking up arms in a political, counterrevolutionary cause, and those aren’t just words, it’s the fact of it.” She paused and said, “What happened to doing something for mankind? Remember? You said it yourself. That’s what this is all about.”
“It sounds good, anyway.”
“It’s true.”
“But would you kill for it, Lucy?”
LITTLE ONE CAME OUT of the hotel kitchen to the back hall where Jack was using the pay phone, Little One saying he had a bone to pick with him, saying his good nature was being taken advantage of. Jack raised the palm of his hand to Little One while he said into the phone, “If you could come right away I’d appreciate it.”
Helene’s voice said, “You’d appreciate it? You’re not talking about just a drink, are you?”
“We can have dinner after, if you haven’t eaten.”
“After what? You call up at-what time is it?-almost eight-thirty, and ask me if I’ve eaten yet.”
“Have you?”
“I’m not hungry. I had a big lunch.”
“I was gonna call you earlier, but I had to go to Gulfport.”
“This guy takes me to Arnaud’s,” Helene’s voice said, “for a job interview. By the time we’re having our coffee he’s telling me how important compatability is and we should stop off at the Royal Sonesta after, continue the interview in a relaxed atmosphere. Which means if I go to bed with the guy I get an office with drapes, carpeting, and a word processor. I said, Gee, what I’ve always wanted, a word processor.”
“You get the job?”
“Listen, I was tempted. I have to be out of my apartment in ten days or else buy it; they’re turning the building into a condo. I’m thirty-two years old and I don’t have a job or a place to live.”
He felt sorry for her feeling sorry for herself, the poor girl. She wasn’t thirty-two, she was thirty-five, at least, married once before he met her, married again for about a year while he was in prison. What had either of them learned?
“I’ll meet you in the bar. And wear a dress, okay?… Helene?”
“You sound different. You’re the same, but there’s something, I don’t know what it is, different.”
“It’s been a long time,” Jack said. He told her to hurry and hung up.
Little One, waiting, said, “Now then.”
“I didn’t leave the key because I have to use it again. I told you I might. Remember?”
“And I said to you we was even, I don’t owe Roy nothing and I don’t need no unexpected shit coming down on my life.”
“Nothing’s gonna happen. There’s no way, I promise.”
Little One said, “There’s no way you going in the man’s room, neither, long as he’s in there.”
“I have to work on that… He have his dinner sent up?”
“Bottle cold wine was all, some shrimp. Man love his shrimp. Say he’s waiting on his car.”
“He’s being picked up?”
“No, the man bought a new car, brand new Mercedes. Told me he give ’em cash for it and they had to deliver it to him tonight or no deal. Man likes to talk about himself like that.”
“He say he was leaving?”
“Uh-unh, but it look like it.”
“How about the other two guys?”
“Haven’t seen ’em. They not staying here, they come by’s all.”
“Can you find out if the colonel’s checking out?”
“You don’t think they would look at me strange at the desk? How’m I suppose to ask ’em that?”
Jack said, “I wouldn’t think a Dale Carnegie graduate’d have any trouble at all.”
Little One served them drinks in the hotel courtyard, looking over Helene in her black dress with the little thin straps, giving Jack a look then but not saying anything. He walked off.
And Helene said, “You’re out of your mind.”
He was thinking this would be the place to begin an evening, let the soft glow and the sound of the fountain and a few drinks set the mood… But he said, “All I’m asking you to do is get him out of the room for ten minutes.”
“What do I do, pull him out by his hair?”
“You could, he’s a little guy.”
“The little guys are the worst; they’re more physical.”
“You go up to 501.” Jack’s eyes raised. “The top railing, that’s the fifth floor. See the alcove right by the elevator? That’s his suite. You knock on the door. He opens it. You say, ‘Oh, gee, I’m sorry. I have the wrong room.’ ”
Helene said, “ ‘Oh, gee, I’m sorry?’ ”
“ ‘I have the wrong room.’ ”
“You’re practically in the tree. Why don’t you pull your chair out so I can see you?”
“I’m okay.”
She said, “You’re hiding, aren’t you?” Picked up her scotch and water and continued to stare at him. “What’re you into, Jack?”
“I’ll tell you later.”
“You said you quit.”
“I did. This’s something else. Okay. You say, ‘Sorry,’ you turn and walk away.”
“You’re not doing it for fun. I can tell.”
“You start to walk away, take a couple steps, you turn around… You listening?”
“I turn around.”
“You say, ‘Oh, if another girl comes, it’s a friend of mine. I told her I’d meet her, but I guess I have the wrong room.’ You understand? Then you say, ‘I’ll watch for her downstairs. But if I happen to miss her, would you tell her I’m down in the courtyard? Or else I’ll be in the bar.’ ”
“Do I have to say it word for word, Jack, or can I ad lib?”