"Be quiet now-be quiet now, darling," I coaxed. I had moved to her side in the moving of my hands. Her fingers sought to release her uplifted skirt and clutch at air, but by some silent command they stayed. The folds drooped but a little. The pallor of her thighs gleamed above the blue darkness of her stocking.
The natural elasticity of her bottom eased a little until I was able to insert my thumb fully, my fingers flirting with the nether cheeks. The oiliness of her slit increased-its pulsing fluttered.
"B… B… Beatrice!" she stammered. Her head hung back until I almost feared she might collapse. An intense quivering ran through her. The curving of her straightened legs was exquisite. Of a sudden then her head snapped back, her shoulders slumping as I withdrew my thumb.
"OH!" she choked and would have slid to the floor had I not caught her. "Oh, B:.. Beatrice!"
"So, it shall be," I smiled and kissed her mouth. She would make much of it in the beginning. In time she would kneel for it with glowing pride-an altar of love. After two years, as I had promised myself, she would return to her everydayness, free to leave or to stay.
You ask why-and I know not. Who shall be free and who not? I had chosen to ordain. There were those who would follow and those who would not. Through the dark glass of unknowing they would seek my image. At night they would huddle in the woods, the shrubs, among the wet leavescrying for my presence. I would untie their childhoods. The last drums of their youth would beat for them. In their submission would be their comforting. Wailing and crying they would succumb to that which they had longed for. The whip would burnish their bottoms in their weepings. The velvet curtains would be drawn-receive their tears. The dry leaves of the aspidistras would accept their lamentations. In the mornings they would be as choir girls, clothed in white. Calmed from the storm they would talk softly, twittering. I would absolve their sins. I would teach. In time they would learn the inferiority of mere-the penis-bearers, the money bringers. For as such only would men be used. I would teach.
Now we composed ourselves again. Caroline sat fidgeting a little while Maria removed the tray. She would prepare a meal for Frederick and her husband on their arrival later; I told her. Together with herself and Jenny they would eat in the kitchen.
Maria bobbed and nodded in her going. She saw herself perhaps as the head of a small conclave of servants, but I would know how to split and divide.
"Caroline, you will have a maid shortly," I said when the door had closed. She looked at me in astonishment. We had lived in comparative modesty before. "I?" she asked.
I smiled and seated myself beside her, rolling her warm and slender fingers in my hand.
"A young servant who at present serves Arabella and her family," I explained. The idea had come sudden upon me. It would serve to elevate Caroline above the others.
"She shall be unto you as a handmaid. You will train her," I said. "She will attend upon no one else other than at my bidding."
"Train her?" Caroline's face was a picture. "Oh! shall I be as you, then?" she asked naively but I forebore to laugh. Her sweetness was apparent. She would lend herself with the seeming innocence of an angel to all that I intended.
"In time perhaps, Caroline. You have been stabled, at least. And cupboarded. Was that not splendid? Did you not enjoy it?"
She nodded, her cheeks suffused. "No one will ever tie us together again," she said.
"But I may tie you together with your maid," I laughed. The shyness in her eyes darted with the delicacy of moths. "She is pretty-a perfect body. Pleasures and punishments -mid I not tell you?"
"May I… may I strap her? Just sometimes?"
The question was as unexpected as Aunt Maude's had been about Frederick. Deep pleasures were in my being at such questions. I had the power to answer or not-to assuage, persuade, refuse, mollify or conquer.
"You wish to? Who else did you wish to strap?"
A knowingly attractive pouting of Caroline's mouth offered itself to me.
"Amanda. She wanted silver stocking bands-did you know?"
"Yes, I knew. What else did she say?"
Caroline's eyes retreated. They appeared to take an immense interest in my corsage. "She… she said if they were silver, solid silver, she would let him."
I breathed lightly, betraying no surprise. Ah, Amanda! the depths of you! But no doubt she had seen no other escape and so sought to make her excuses. Caroline had obviously probed and asked. We know not those we know when they are away from us. Father would lie with women in their bronzeness. He would swish their bottoms with a fly-switch. Langourous they would lie, the sweat between their nether cheeks, up-bulbing, offering- the delicate twitching of flesh as the switch descended. Servants would come and go, bearing tea, blind in their unseeing.
"You may strap her, yes, but only playfully," I said, recalling Caroline's question. I would draw her into my plans a little, yet leave her always on a fringe of wondering -the last lines left undrawn, a mid-air hesitation. Workmen would come shortly to commence the building of the stables, I told her. I had promises that the work would be completed in two weeks. The main bedroom which Father normally inhabited would become now my own. Caroline would take the room next to it. The stables would have an annexe that would form a caging room.
My plans expanded with every breath-her face a mirror to my thoughts. Withal a question poised itself on her lips as a bird alights and rests upon a sill.
"But when Father returns?" she asked.
My face was a blankness. "And naturally we shall furnish the summerhouse last," I said as if there had been no pause in my words. Clearly she was about to speak again when the doorbell sounded. Jenny hurried to answer. In a moment she returned bearing a carte de visite on a tray. I took it and read. The name meant nothing to
me: THE REV. HORACE AMES.
"He seeks but a moment and is accompanied," Jenny said. I did not ask by whom. Such questions tend to indicate some unsettlement of the mind. I waved my hand languidly for her to admit them. Caroline adjusted herself, fanning out her skirt. Her composure at such times pleases me.
In a moment the door opened to admit a gentleman of not unpleasing aspect in his middle years. He was alone. He sought my indulgence, he said. His dark suit and clerical collar gave him a slightly hawkish air. They had travelled from Kent, he explained, to inspect a neighbouring house he intended to purchase in the parish. Alas, the hub of one of the wheels of their carriage had collapsed and the house agent had not arrived with the keys, as promised. They had waited an hour in the gardens. Now with the lateness of the day he sought to find momentary shelter for his daughters. "They are waiting beyond?" I asked.
"In the hall, Madame. I thought not to disturb you overmuch… . "
"Oh, but you must bring them in!" I interrupted swiftly. "My sister will see to it. Will you not have a sherry? Of course we shall afford you all that you need. What a hopelessness you must have felt in your waiting."
Overwhelmed by my reception as he appeared to be, he took the proferred glass and sat as the door reopened to admit two young ladies of apparent exceeding shyness. Both were prettily dressed and bonneted, but their boots had a sad and dusty air of those who have travelled far.
In seconds they were introduced. The taller, Clarissa, was it seemed eighteen. Jane was her junior by three years, but already with sufficient nubility to attract my eyes. Both were brunettes with retroussd noses and pleasing mouths. Their ankles were slender, though mainly hid.
"How were you to return and when?" I asked. I affected a great bubbling, flooding him with words while Caroline attended to the girls with refreshing drinks. By some fortune, Frederick and Ned made their appearance during my discourse. I summoned the latter immediately to the wheelwright who I knew sometimes put carriages out on hire. Within the hour the fellow returned bearing the solemn news that only a small phaeton was available with scarce room for three for a longish journey.