“Grief plays hell with your time sense. Regret, grief, pain, it all tears you up if you don't have someone or something to hold on to. The Army used to be my strength. But…things change.”
And lord, things had changed.
“The Army was Jim's life. He would have been a Ranger his whole career if he hadn't gotten killed. We're not even at war! Some stupid secret mission nobody cared about except some idiot general behind a desk! I don't even know how he died. They wouldn't tell me. I didn't even get all his personal effects, just a pack of official papers and his dog tags. I know Jim loved it, but I hate anything to do with the Army.”
China did that tight lipped thing again, his eyes so narrowed Carson doubted he could see anything. Not that Carson could look at much of the guy's face when China hung his head like that.
“How'd you end up with that thug, Steve?”
The sudden shift in conversation rattled Carson for a moment. “Trust me, I was never with him. I knew by the end of the first date I knew he wasn't my type but he wouldn't take the hint.”
“Wouldn't take a hint,” China tilted Carson's face into the fading light from the pathway street lamp, “or take a 'no'?”
“He's not a fan of rejection. I'm not a fan of being forced.” Carson turned his face out of the light, easing away from Chain's touch and his unhappy stare. “To do anything I don't want to, least of all that.”
“He got 'rejected' then?”
“I might take a couple of lumps, but I can handle things pretty well. Most guys won't take things as far as Steve did. I'm small but I know what brings a man to his knees.”
“I'll bet you do.” The heated look was bad enough, but that raw, husky catch in China's voice almost undid Carson. It didn't help any when China added. “I knew I should have stuck to calling you 'Dangerous'.”
“Walk me home. And that's not a question.”
Now it was his turn to sound ragged with need.
The walk back was done mostly in silence. The wind and freezing temperatures stifled any lengthy conversation. But it had the benefit of making both men seek shelter in the other's personal space. Carson had to admit, 'The Great Wall of China' did a terrific job of blocking the wind.
Carson ducked his head and shoulders down, leaning a bit into China's side. It only took an instant before a comforting arm pulled him in closer, shielding him from the worst of the wind and faltering snow. It was only another block to his apartment and Carson irrationally found himself wishing it would take longer.
The big man radiated heat like a furnace. He smelled great close up, clean and crisp, like spearmint. The odor of tobacco clung to his jacket but Carson couldn't detect any on his breath, just cool spearmint and fluid warmth. If China had any vices it didn't appear to include smoking. God knew the man ate right. He couldn't keep that body without it. Clean living, killer looks and raw macho attitude in a caring, understanding guy who picked a career protecting the entire, freaking nation. And who wanted to keep protecting people once he was in the private sector. Now there was a man Carson should be dating.
Except the guy didn't live here, would be gone for months at a time risking his life, and be unemployed if he survived to his discharge date.
The downside of China-man was steep.
Carson glanced up at the strong, clean-shaved profile, taking in the long angles and square jaw, deep-set dark eyes, noticing for the first time that China's upper lip was thinner than his bottom lip, marred by a white scar that ran the length of one side. Instead of detracting from China's looks it gave him a rakish, take-no-prisoners– look that appealed to Carson's outside-the-box taste in life.
A modern apartment building towered between two clapboard homes to their right. Carson nudged China toward the fresh shoveled pathway that lead to the apartment house, leading him through the entrance, lobby and into the elevator before he felt warm enough to waste energy on speech.
The elevator was a steady seventy degrees, toasty warm and welcoming. It trapped the scent of their bodies in the small space, mingling spearmint with a musky masculine smell Carson suspected was hormones wafting off the both of them. He hadn't felt this attracted to a man in ages. He briefly entertained the
idea that he liked China so much because he reminded him a bit of his brother but he dismissed it almost as quickly. China made him feel attractive and flat out horny. That was not brotherly. No sir, sergeant! They may have both been Army but that was where it ended.
A deeper, more intoxicating heat spread out from the pit of his stomach. It wandered down to his groin so that by the time the elevator doors opened his entire body buzzed with barely restrained interest. The silence had been companionable and comforting but Carson had to say something eventually. And it couldn't be the one word he had in mind—stay.
“Thought you might like a chance to warm up before you took off to wherever it is you need to be.” He was startled to hear his own voice, the seductive tone to it, the unspoken questions implied.
China must have heard them, too. He didn't answer right away, just turned and stared down at Carson, dark gaze flickering from Carson's eyes to his mouth, down to his waist, and back to his mouth before linking back up with his own now self-conscious stare. Carson bet he looked like a deer caught in China's headlights waiting for the hit and run.
Opening the apartment door, Carson turned usher China in, but found the big man still standing outside the threshold, his expression unreadable, his body language stiff, unyielding.
“I think maybe its best if I go. I….You need some time.” The only sign of lingering attraction China couldn't hide was the hungry look in his eyes.
But it was more than enough for Carson.
Grabbing China by the lapels, he yanked the man over the doorstep and down so their lips almost touch.
“What I need is you. Stay.”
“Warmer?” China traced the curved of Carson's ribs with the line of his jaw. His five o'clock shadows rasped over the smooth flesh with a light scraping sound. Carson shivered and tried to move, but China held him to the mattress, his bare chest pressed to Carson's naked abdomen anchoring the slighter man down.
“ Ah! Ummm.”
Carson sucked in his chest to remove it as a target but China felt Caron's hips grind against his own belly, the hard cock trapped between them leaking slick pre-cum. He licked at the swollen, dusky nipple nearest him, liking the way Carson gasped and pushed into the touch.
“Ugh!”
“I do like an articulate man.” China took the swollen nub between his lips and teeth, enjoying the heat radiating off the tiny bit of wrinkled flesh. Carson moaned and ran his hands down China's back, fingers unconsciously tracing the raised scars and slight dips where a dozen suture lines had yet to fade.
“No talking. I thought you were a man of action.”
He sucked the nub deeper into his mouth, pulling it tight then teasing it with nibbled bites.
“Shit!”
Fists pounded on his shoulders, knuckles sharp, bony. Then the hands relaxed, as if Carson suddenly noticed the scars. China felt Carson hesitate then inch his hands back to the wounds, the touch gentle, a caress that both soothed and examined the healing flesh. He released the thoroughly tortured teat, licking it once to sooth it and to hear Carson made that funny little high pitched gasping sound he found so arousing.
“These scars….” Carson pushed at his chest to get him to raise his head and look him in the eye.
Talking about his wounds was the last thing China wanted to do. Now or ever. At least with Carson. Definitely not while they were making love. Fleeting as it was, he wanted at least this much.
“Are ticklish.” Grabbing both Carson's wrists, he pinned them to the bed, shifting his weight so he was kneeling over Carson. He nudged Carson's thighs apart with a knee and settled between them.