But.
I need her.
I go back to my place and change my clothes and pack an extra set. I know I smell like dirt and smoke and alcohol, but I don’t care. It’s an easy thing to get into her apartment building and then into her place. I walk into her bedroom and she’s lying in bed, staring at the ceiling.
“I had a feeling you were going to come,” she says, not at all surprised to see me.
“How did you know?” My voice is rough as I strip and climb into bed with her.
“Intuition,” she says, holding her arms open for me.
Twenty-Six
The next morning, Saige doesn’t ask me why I needed to stay with her. She just lets me fuck her slowly and then takes a shower with me again.
“You should start keeping some of your stuff here. Although I do enjoy you walking around smelling like me.” She smiles and I devour her mouth.
“Maybe I will,” I say. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I just know that I need to hold onto every moment with her that I have so I can take her with me. I’ve never felt this way about someone and I can’t deny it anymore. I don’t think it’s love, but it’s as close to that as I’ve ever gotten. I don’t know how it happened, but now I’m in the middle, it makes all the sense in the world. Saige is an impossible person not to love. She’s everything I never knew I wanted or needed.
I wish I didn’t have to leave her. I wish I could say “fuck it” and quit my job and forget about everything I’ve done. Talk about wishing you could live someone else’s life.
Saige makes me breakfast and sends me to work with a kiss and a promise that she’ll be waiting for me when I’m done.
Work is hard. I’m unfocused and I have to ask a few of my clients to repeat themselves on the phone. I text Cash on the burner on my lunch break, asking him if he’s okay. He just sends me back a picture of him giving a thumbs up. I’m not going to ask him if he remembers last night. It doesn’t seem right to bring it up.
The rest of the week I spend with Saige or at work or sleeping. And she cuts into both work and sleeping. I’m obsessed. When I’m not with her, I’m thinking about her and when I can see her again.
We don’t spend all our time naked, though. She has a life and I respect her study time. As long as I’m with her, I don’t even care what we’re doing. Even if I’m just watching her study.
She takes me to a student art exhibit and we critique the work and I find myself consumed with laughter from her sharp tongue. She doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to what she deems crappy art, but when she sees something she likes, she gets so animated and excited, and even if I don’t get it, I can feel her passion.
I let myself enjoy her, really enjoy her for the first time. I let my guard down a little and pretend that I’m Quinn and she is my girlfriend Saige.
“Are we ready to talk labels?” she asks me on Saturday night when we’re in bed. I’m exhausted and still trying to get the blood back to my brain after an intense naked session.
“You mean you want to define the relationship?” Her hand stills on my chest where it had been tracing the outline of my anchor tattoo.
“Does this have to do with going to your parents tomorrow?” I ask.
“A little. I just want to know where this is going. I’m not trying to put any pressure on you and if you’re not ready for this step, that’s okay. But I think we have something special and I’d like to take it to the next level.” I don’t know what to say.
“You think about it and get back to me,” she says, dipping her head to kiss the anchor, her hair brushing across my chest and hiding her face from view.
“Yes,” I say and she looks up at me.
“Yes what?”
“Yes, I want to define the relationship.” Quinn wants to define the relationship. He gets to be her boyfriend. Not Sylas. But that’s close enough.
She beams at me.
“So you’re saying you want me to be your girlfriend, which means tomorrow when we go to my parents I’m going to introduce you as my boyfriend?” I nod and she kisses me hard while laughing.
“That was so easy,” she says. “You’re a total pushover. I didn’t even have to give you an ultimatum.”
“If I had said no, would you have?”
She shrugs one naked shoulder.
“I knew you wouldn’t, so it doesn’t matter, Quinn Brand, my boyfriend.” We kiss again and that’s enough talking for a while.
The next day I go back to my place on the pretense that the shirt and tie I want to wear aren’t at Saige’s. I’ve brought a lot of my stuff to her place and I feel bad about leaving Leo so alone. If things go well tonight, I might just bring him to come stay with me at Saige’s. I don’t think she’d mind.
The surveillance equipment is hidden here there and everywhere. I’ve got it strapped to my body and it’s a good thing it’s all small and inconspicuous.
I’ve got my plan all laid out. I’ve got contingency plans and contingency plans for contingency plans. I’ve thought of nearly every possibility. Plus, I’ve done this before.
I pick Saige up and this time she’s wearing a dress that’s so low in the back her tattoo is completely visible. It’s still just black ink, but even without the color, it’s beautiful. It looks so natural on her. As if it was always there and Crash just rubbed some skin away to reveal it.
“You’re going to be in so much trouble,” I say as she shows me.
“You think my mom is going to flip?”
“Probably. Are you trying to give her a heart attack?” She just laughs.
“Oh, she’ll get over it once I tell her that you’re officially my boyfriend.” I’m having misgivings about that particular bit of information coming out tonight.
“You’re trouble, Redhead,” I say, pulling her in for a kiss and stroking the bare skin of her back. This dress offers plenty of access to her creamy skin, which is a definite plus.
She laughs and goes to adjust her hair but then curses.
“My bracelet is stuck, can you help me?” I reach up and unwind her hair from where it’s gotten wrapped around the charm on her bracelet.
I see these types of bracelets everywhere. It reminds me of Lizzy’s, only this initial is an S.
“Thanks,” she says. “You’re my hero.”
“Hardly,” I say, telling her the truth. She shakes her head at me and locks the door behind her.
Saige’s parents notice the tattoo right away.
“Oh, Saige, what have you done?” Her mother holds her hands to her face in shock. Mr. Beaumont is less surprised. He seems to know more about his daughter than her mother does.
“It’s a tattoo,” she says, stating the obvious as she flashes her back. She’s clearly pleased with herself and the ruckus she’s causing. Her father shakes his head.
“I hope you went somewhere clean,” he says and gives her a kiss on the cheek before shaking my hand, a little more gently this time.
“What are you going to do when you get married?” Bridgette practically wails. “I want you to go to a doctor and get that lasered off. Right away.” I have to bite back a laugh. Getting tattoos removed is not that easy and it’s an extremely painful process. Most people who have tattoos they don’t want either live with them or get them covered up with another design.
“No way,” Saige says. “I love it and it’s not your body. It’s mine. I choose what I get to do with it.” She takes my arm and steps past her still-scandalized mother, into the room where we had drinks last time.
I have no choice but to follow her. This night is going to be interesting, to say the least.