I rose early to catch a train. This was a London I had only heard rumors of: suited men and women crowding the platforms, waiting for a place on a packed carriage. Most looked slightly dazed, not quite awake; others had clearly risen early and had their schedule down to a science. I wondered whether some of the freshly made-up women had to rise at half four to look so pulled together by eight.
The train arrived on time, but it took less walking than I expected to find the offices. I went round the corner for a cup of tea and to waste time beforehand. A woman whose grasp of English was remedial at best prepared my drink, pouring in the milk long before the tea was steeped and before I could stop her. I sat at a small table facing a window on the street. Everyone around me, builders to executives, was bent over a newspaper. I had none, and looked out on the human traffic.
When I arrived, the other two interviewees were already there. We introduced ourselves, talked briefly about the social and professional connections that joined us. Then we filed into a room and, with a group of interviewers, watched each other’s brief presentations. We were directed back to the first room afterward, and called in one at a time for the interview proper.
A dark-blonde, pudding-faced girl was the first candidate. When she left for her grilling, the other interviewee smiled wanly at me. “I knew when I saw you I didn’t have a chance,” he said. I had thought something similar, since while my degrees and references were better, his experience was enviable.
“Don’t be silly,” I said. “It could be any of us.” Either, I corrected silently, since it was fairly certain the other girl didn’t have a chance. Her degree was only tangentially related, her graduate experience nonexistent, and she had mumbled and dragged through her presentation, the content of which was not terribly impressive.
The second candidate went for his interview and must have left straight after, as he didn’t come back to the room.
I entered the room for my interview already sweating. Don’t walk into the table, I thought. Don’t drop anything. There were three people on the other side: a tall, thin man, an elderly gentleman with glasses, and a thirtyish woman with short dark hair.
They took their questions in turns. The division of labor soon became clear: the older man asked very little and was clearly more senior. The thin man asked questions relating to personality-the usual things, such as what I thought my weaknesses were and where I saw my career in five years’ time. The younger woman was left the technical questions, and these scared me the most, but I thought before starting to answer each. At some points I was aware that composing an answer left them hanging for the start of my sentences, but I thought it better to get it right than to amble aimlessly.
When the interview concluded, the three stood with me. The selection should be made fairly quickly, they said, since they wanted someone to start as soon as possible. I could expect a phone call or letter in the next few days. Since I was the last candidate, they left the room as well. The elderly man and the young woman turned down the hall one way, to walk to their offices. The tall man offered to walk me through to the lobby.
We stood quietly in the elevator together. I smiled. “I remember you from a conference three years ago,” he said. “Impressive presentation.”
“Thank you,” I said. Crud. Most of the presentation I’d given earlier in the day had been recycled from that one.
We walked through the quiet carpeted hallways. He started talking about his own work, something he was clearly passionate about. I like people with passion. I asked him leading questions, argued the devil’s advocate while making it clear I actually agreed with his side, and in the end he stood with me at a taxi queue until the cab came to take me to the station. He shook my hand warmly and closed the door for me. As the taxi pulled away, I could see him still standing at the curb.
My heart was beating fast. That was good, I thought. Now I have someone on my side.
Juin
W-Z
W is for Whore
Working girl, prostitute, call girl, woman of negotiable affection, ho. I don’t think any one term is any more or less degrading than another. It’s simply a label, go with it, have fun with it. Indignation at someone else’s moniker for a whore is so outdated. So politically correct, so nineties. You sell sex for a living-what did you expect, to be billed as an “erotic entertainments consultant”?
“Sex therapist” wouldn’t be too bad, though.
X is for Xerxes
Xerxes was a great king of Persia in the fifth century BC.
(I couldn’t think of a good topic that started with X.)
Y is for Youth
Younger is better in the business. This is an ironclad rule-unless you’re over forty, in which case the agency will probably add a robust decade to increase the naughty-granny factor. Expect that your profile will not tell your age accurately. If actresses can continue to play ingenues well into their thirties, why can’t you? But it’s up to you to remember which lie you told whom and keep up the facade. The client is paying for an illusion, and letting slip that you were old enough to keep John Major in his constituency is not a good idea. Doubly so if he is a Labour backbencher.
Z is for Zippers
Someone once asked me to undress him using only my teeth. While in principle this sounds like an interesting task, there is one thing that cannot be undone with the mouth alone, and that is the zipper of a man’s trousers. You know how you have to hold them taut at the top when you unzip your own? You can’t do that without hands. It took about eight minutes just to get his trousers down and completely killed the mood. mardi, le 1 ^er juin
Angel rang. It was a bit of a surprise; I hadn’t heard from her in ages, only caught a glimpse of her from time to time, and had really not thought I’d hear from her again.
She was crying. I was in a taxi and couldn’t really hear her due to the noise of the cab, but it sounded like she was somewhere noisy as well, on a street or by a tube entrance. I told her I was on the way to meet a friend, and she could ring me later or drop by for coffee if she wanted a chat.
She did drop by. She smiled and breezed in, looking calmer and pulled together, but I knew it was only a matter of time until she broke down. Which she did, magnificently. Someone had just dumped her. A relationship-I had to confess ignorance that she was seeing anyone at all-had ended. By e-mail.
I was shocked. “No way to treat you, no matter what happened,” I cooed. I poured boiling water into a cafetiere, let it steep probably too long, pushed the plunger, and poured her a beaker of steaming brew. “So who was it?” I asked, out of mild curiosity.
“Didn’t you know?” she asked, looking up, tearstained face. “You’ll laugh.” It was First Date.
Bloody hell.
“And the worst part of it all, he is still carrying a torch for you.”
Bloodier hell. How do you comfort someone who has just been chucked for, among other reasons undoubtedly, a memory, and a pretty insubstantial one at that? “I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
“You’re good at things, you’re talented,” she moaned. “I just don’t know, I disappoint people.”
“You can’t take that personally. Someone else being disappointed in you is their problem.” Cruddy way to soothe someone, I know, but I didn’t know what to say. This woman was more acquaintance than friend, and a stressful one at that. But I felt for her. I’ve been on both sides of that equation. jeudi, le 3 juin
An invitation came through the post a few weeks ago. I haven’t replied yet for not knowing what to do.
It’s a weekend in the country to celebrate a friend’s engagement, and promises to be a good time, with garden parties and drunken sing-alongs round a bonfire. And I would ordinarily be there like a shot, but for one thing. The Boy.