"The spirit of the mountain, hearing his plea, granted his wish. And lo, the stonecutter was now a yangban who dressed in silk and on whom other lesser mortals fawned."
"Just like that?" Remo asked.
"Just as I tell it," replied the Master of Sinanju.
"Now, time passed, and though all bowed to him, the stonecutter soon grew weary of empty bowing. And of his fine home and gardens and concubines. One day he awoke to find his garden had wilted under the blazing noonday sun—for this man was in truth lazy—and looked up to see the sun regarding him with its thin mercy. Shielding his eyes, he realized that his power was nothing under the awful might of the sun. That night he went again to Diamond Mountain to beseech Sanshin to make him into the sun.
"When he awoke the next dawn, Sanshin had granted him his dearest wish, Remo. He was the sun."
"No kidding. Just by praying?"
"Sanshin is very powerful," explained the Master of Sinanju to his pupil.
"So I've heard," Remo said dryly.
Resuming his tale, the Master of Sinanju said, "And so the stonecutter poured his power and his radiance down upon the land, for he was the sun. Nothing could escape his sight. No prince nor emperor could look upon him without shrinking from his awesome wrath. And he was content."
Chiun raised a bony finger.
"But not for long. Soon he grew weary of his heavenly rounds. For although he was now the sun, the sun too obeyed certain laws, rising at an appointed hour and setting when the universe decreed it. And this did not suit the stonecutter who had grown accustomed to sleeping late when he was a mere yangban.
"But what was he to do? He was the almighty sun. What greater than this could he ask for? And to be less was not in his nature.
"But one day a great storm cloud appeared and intercepted his powerful light, throwing all of Korea into darkness. And seeing this, the stonecutter realized that a cloud was greater than he, and could move about more freely, as well."
Remo spoke up. "And so he prayed again to Sanshin to become the cloud and Sanshin granted his wish, right?"
"Yes. How did you know?"
"Guess."
Chiun frowned. "I am telling this story, not you."
"Sorry."
"Now, this stonecutter enjoyed greater power over mankind. He brought rain, flooded the fields and rice paddies, and in doing so provided sustenance and famine at a whim. Men feared him, welcomed him, loved and hated him, and as he traversed the skies he was content in his mastery of mankind. For a time."
"Here we go again," Remo said dryly.
"For in his travels, one thing and one thing alone did not fear him. And that was Diamond Mountain. He poured his gentlest rain upon Diamond Mountain and no greenery grew. He exerted himself to his utmost, and torrents and forked lightning pelted Diamond Mountain, but Diamond Mountain stood serene and unmoved by his temperamental display.
"And so the storm cloud called down to the mountain and beseeched Sanshin to make him one with the mountain.
"And Sanshin replied that if he did this there would be no place for Sanshin to dwell, for Diamond Mountain was his home.
"But the storm cloud was insistent in his pleading and would not leave Sanshin alone. And Sanshin, who was tired of residing in Diamond Mountain because it was increasingly subject to incessant and capricious rains, granted this last wish.
"And so the simple stonecutter became the spirit residing within Diamond Mountain and he was gratified, for while he could not move, no force of nature could move him. He had stood for millions of years and would outlast the hardworking people of the valley and the nimble creatures of the forests."
Chiun lifted his finger once more. "Until one day he awoke to feel a stab of pain in his side, Remo."
"Yeah?"
"And looking down, what do you suppose the stonecutter saw?"
"Got me."
"He saw a stonecutter very much like his former self chipping away at his mighty flank with a cold chisel."
And the Master of Sinanju folded his hands and sat back.
A slow dawning crossed his pupil's face. But Chiun spoke not. This was his pupil's opportunity to show the understanding that came with having a few drops of Korean blood in his veins.
"I think I get it," said Remo.
Chiun cocked his birdlike head to one side expectantly. "Yes?"
"A person is what he is. He shouldn't wish for any more than that."
"Very good. Go on."
"I'm an assassin. I'm the best."
"Second best," Chiun admonished.
"Second-best assassin living. This is what I am. This is what I do. There isn't anything more for me. I'm not a counter assassin. I take out people who deserve death so that innocent people can live their lives without fear."
A thin smile that grew broader with each passing instant wreathed the wrinkled countenance of the Master of Sinanju.
"I am pleased."
"Good. Can I finish my rice now?"
"You may."
And in a contemplative silence, the Master of Sinanju and his worthy pupil took up their rice bowls.
It was a perfect moment.
And then the doorbell rudely shattered the mood with its ding-dong sound.
"I'll get it," said Remo.
He was gone but a moment and when he returned, he was wearing a strange expression and carrying a crumpled letter.
"What is it?" asked Chiun.
"We just got stung for fifteen cents. Postage due from Ottawa. Guess they're low on stamps up there."
"It is a trifle, and we care not what the penniless Ottawans say, whoever they may be."
"Ottawa is the capital of Canada," said Remo, tearing open the envelope. "Might as well see what they had to say."
Out came a letter and a colored slip of paper.
"What is it, Remo?"
"It's a letter inviting us to meet with the prime minister."
"Then why are you frowning?"
"Because this other thing is a half-price discount coupon for a one-way bus ticket to Ottawa. Can you beat that? Everyone else sent a limo. Or at least tried to kill us."
"They insult us!"
"They waste their time," said Remo, tossing the letter into the trash.
"The Ottawans could at least have poisoned the paper or cunningly secreted deadly spiders in the envelope as a gesture of respect."
Remo sat down and attacked his rice. "Speaking of spiders, you never did tell me who killed Khoja Khan."
"Because it does not matter, for Sinanju had nothing to do with it."
"So? Tell me anyway."
"His crimes were discovered, and he was tied living to wild asses, which were urged to flee into the desert."
"Ouch."
"His bones were later found, but that was all."
Remo grinned. "That's the biz, sweetheart."