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‘Just a tiny one, get me stoked.’

She’d had some problems with booze, okay, so it had been said she’d a major problem. Like, it killed her father and she hadn’t the money to bury him. Three large. God, the mortification; phew-oh, Brant came through with the readies, said,

‘You owe me, Falls.’ He collected... and not financially. To make it worse, he’d saved her from the Clapham Rapist. Christ, she’d never be free of him. The way he liked it. Drank the scotch fast, it hit like love, warming artificially and ruefully. She thought: Just as artificial.

Cynic that.

Rosie, white girl as she was, used to play Leonard Cohen. Falls would chide,

‘Girl, yo’ want to hit de blues? Lemme git you Nina Simone.’

A line of Leonard Cohen’s shifted itself from her grief... something about the future and about it being murder.

Got that right, Greek boy.

She caught a number 36 bus, rode the top deck as far as Paddington Station, the booze bubbling in her blood. The conductor was a brother, said, near sang,

‘Sho’ looking fine.’

She smiled and he pushed,

‘Yo’ all wanna drink after mo shift?’

Gave him the full Railton Road glare, he backed way off.

The Sawyers Arms was a halfway decent pub. Mix of navvies, travellers and trainee yuppies, not the worst. Porter had the corner table, drinks all set. He stood, said,

‘You beauty.’

Gave her a big hug, that turned some heads, like she gave a rat’s, said,

‘Let me see you.’

He stepped back, wearing a suede tan jacket, open white shirt, navy chinos, police shoes. But the guys always did. She said,

Baaaad jacket.’

‘From Gap.’

‘Whatever.’

They were full delighted with each other, she lifted her tiny glass, sniffed, made a face. He said,

‘Tequila slammer.’

‘And you?’

‘Scotch.’

They touched glasses, drank deep, he reached in the jacket, took out Menthol Superkings and a chunky lighter, she said,

‘Mixed metaphor.’

He loved that, said,

‘I love that. The menthol is for the light-on-your-feet brigade and the lighter is for the whole YMCA gig.’

She wasn’t sure she got all that, but who cared? His mobile phone went, she said,

‘Don’t answer.’

‘I’ll have to.’

He did. Listened, his face clouding. Said,

‘Okay.’

Turned to face her, said,

‘Officer down.’

Perhaps we unconsciously avoid situations for which we are ill-equipped, even if avoiding them entails an amount of immediate suffering.

Dervla Murphy

Outside the pub, Porter said,

‘I’ve transport.’

Falls gave him a look, said,

‘You told me we were going to get legless.’

‘So?’

‘So how come you brought wheels?’

Porter hung his head, said,

‘I hadn’t thought it through.’

She didn’t believe him, said,

‘I don’t believe you.’

‘Okay, Falls.’

‘Okay? What the hell is okay?’

‘I wasn’t going to drink much.’

‘But you were going to let me drink lights out.’

‘Yes.’

They’d reached a red Datsun he’d indicated was it. He said,

‘This is it.’

‘The poof-mobile.’

That stung but he rode it out, got the car in gear and she asked,

‘What sort of mate is that?’

‘What?’

‘You heard me. We go for a night out and you’re planning to be Miss Prim.’

He swerved to avoid an Audi, let down his window, shouted:

‘Get some driving lessons.’

She looked at him, regretted again he was gay, said,

‘You sounded like Brant.’

He grimaced, said,

‘Nobody sounds like Brant.’

He got a break in traffic, cut across a black cab, got some serious speed on. Both of them were thinking of the fallen officer but neither wanted to mention it. He said,

‘I’d have had a few drinks.’

‘Forget it.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘What did I say? Didn’t I just say forget it?’

He took a deep breath, said,

‘It’s a WPC.’

Falls stared out the window, then said,

‘Is she dead?’

‘Yes.’

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck.’

Porter knew about the suicide of Falls’ friend. For her the death of a WPC was doubly hard. He said,

‘I didn’t get any more details.’

‘She’s dead, what more is there?’

‘I mean... you know... her name... or what happened.’

‘We’ll know soon enough.’

They were coming up on Waterloo. Falls said,

‘I used to live here.’

‘Yeah? What was that like?’

‘Shite.’

He laughed then stopped abruptly, feeling guilty. She asked,

‘You’ve had some of these?’

He knew she meant police deaths but pretended not to follow, asked,

‘Some of what?’

‘Officer down.’

‘Yeah, a few.’

They were coming up on Kennington Road, could see the mess of blue lights ahead. Porter said,

‘The word is out.’

Police cars were everywhere, causing chaos. Any motorist complaining got short shrift. It was not a night to worry about public relations. A traffic cop flagged down their car. As Porter opened the window, the cop said,

‘There’s no way through, you’re going to have to wait.’

It wasn’t a request, it was an order. The cop’s face was grim, his eyes saying, ‘Give me lip and I’ll have your ass.’

Porter produced his warrant card; the cop examined it closely, said,

‘Sorry, sarge, I thought you were civilians.’

He grabbed an eyeful of Falls, the sheath dress, her legs, asked,

‘New uniform?’

Porter let it hang a moment then,

‘Watch your mouth.’

The cop, taken aback, muttered,

‘Just kidding.’

Porter was out of the car, in the guy’s face, going,

‘An officer is down and you’re kidding?’

Falls was behind him, said,

‘Porter, come on.’

Porter looked at his car, then back to the cop, said,

‘I’m leaving this vehicle in your hands. I’ll expect it to be well cared for.’

The cop indicated the chaos building from all directions, groaned,

‘Aw, sarge.’

Porter had already turned away, was marching towards the Oval. Falls shouted,

‘Wait up!’

As she caught up, he said,

‘When I was stationed at Kensington...’

‘You were stationed at Kensington?’

‘Yes, a sergeant there, named Carlisle, one of the best cops I’ve ever known...’

Falls was thinking: Carlisle, Porter Nash, no wonder they got a west London gig. He continued,

‘I was taking a lot of flak over being gay, he took me aside, said,

“Front the bastards up”.’

‘What did he mean?’

‘Don’t hide who I am, put it right in their faces, let them deal with it.’

‘Did they?’

‘Some... the point is, he showed me it’s about being a copper, all the rest is irrelevant.’

‘He was white, hetero?’

‘Yes.’

‘Easy for him to say then.’

Porter rounded on her, fire in his eyes, near roared:

‘He was decapitated in a high-speed chase. The driver of the stolen vehicle was fourteen. You think it mattered then what colour Carlisle was, or what his sexual orientation was?’