Brodrick grinned as he sipped his claret. ‘He is certainly making sure they are common knowledge, but the tale actually originated with Surgeon Wiseman. He says he saw it happen.’
‘Then he is mistaken!’ wailed the Earl. ‘I thought Wiseman was on my side. Has he migrated to Bristol’s camp, then?’
‘Absolutely not,’ replied Brodrick. ‘And what he has done is rather clever: he has let it be known that you have teeth, and that you are prepared to use them. He has done you a great favour.’
Holles nodded agreement. ‘It is true, My Lord. Bristol will be obliged to revise his opinion of you now, and that cannot be a bad thing – it is always good to have one’s enemies off balance. He will think twice about insulting you again, lest you wallop him, too.’
Brodrick laughed. It was the kind of scenario that suited his sense of the ridiculous. ‘And now, if you will excuse me, I am off to spin a few tales of my own. I shall say the Dutch upholsterer lies at death’s door, and that those who meddle with the Lord Chancellor do so at their peril.’
‘Yes!’ said Holles, eyes gleaming. ‘And I shall add to the speculation by ordering a coffin.’
‘No!’ shouted the Earl, horrified. ‘I do not want to be considered a ruffian! I shall tell anyone I meet the truth: that the Brandenburg merchant was the one who harmed Heyden … I mean Vanders.’
Brodrick winked conspiratorially at Chaloner, to let him know that he thought this would only add fuel to the fire. It would be seen as a case of ‘he doth protest too much’, and would ‘prove’ Lord Clarendon had indeed indulged in a brief spurt of violence.
‘I hope this injury will not affect your playing, Heyden,’ said Brodrick, hastily changing the subject when he saw his cousin begin to lose his temper for real. He removed a sheet of paper from his pocket. ‘Here is the new piece I commissioned from Locke, and you will see that the bass viol has some challenging solo work. I shall have to invite Greeting if you are unavailable, and he will not be easy to dislodge once he is installed. Can you come tonight?’
‘Yes,’ said Chaloner firmly, taking one look at the music and deciding wild horses would not prevent him from taking part.
‘Good. I tried to summon Lisle to tend you – he is the gentlest of the Court surgeons, and to my mind the best – but a carriage has overturned in King Street and he was the only medicus willing to help the victims without waiting to hear whether they have the resources to pay him. So he is unavailable. However, I met your friend Eaffrey, and she is scouring the palace for Wiseman or Johnson.’
‘Let us hope it is Wiseman, then,’ said Holles, when Brodrick had gone. ‘I would not let Johnson near my worst enemy. But I did not know you were a friend of the lovely Eaffrey, Heyden.’
Chaloner glanced sharply at him, and saw from the colonel’s glistening eyes that his interest in brothels probably extended to the ladies at Court, too.
‘Eaffrey,’ said the Earl, his voice dripping disapproval. ‘Williamson told me that he sends her to “bestow her charms” on men, which means she offers her body in exchange for their innermost secrets. He says she is very good at it. I hope you do not enjoy that sort of relationship with her, Heyden. I would not like my innermost secrets blurted across a silken pillow.’
‘If she “bestowed her charms” on me, I would let her have her wicked way, then fob her off with rot,’ said Holles, saving Chaloner from informing the Earl that he was perfectly capable of enjoying a woman without discussing his work, and it was no one’s business who he slept with anyway. And he was about to tell Holles that Eaffrey was used to men thinking like him, and that the colonel would be putty in her hands regardless, when a servant knocked on the door. He announced that Sir Richard Temple was waiting to present a peace-offering, in the fervent hope that relations between him and the Lord Chancellor might be more friendly in the future.
‘You see?’ said Clarendon miserably. ‘Temple is so terrified by my newly violent reputation that he feels obliged to bribe me, to make sure I do not savage him with my fists for siding with Bristol. Hide behind the curtains, if you please, Heyden. I do not want him to see you damaged.’
‘He is here to provide you with a parrot, sir,’ said Chaloner, remembering what Eaffrey had told him. ‘It has been trained to repeat conversations, apparently. You should accept it, then teach it some rubbish – to trick him.’
‘I most certainly shall not,’ said Clarendon haughtily. ‘I am Lord Chancellor of England, and such deceptions are beneath my dignity. I shall accept his gift graciously, and demonstrate my moral superiority by rising above sly pranks.’
Chaloner felt like retorting that he would not remain in office long if he refused to meet his enemies on their own ground, but supposed it was the spy in him talking. Perhaps the Earl was right to remain aloof from petty behaviour, and an ethical stance would see him victorious in the end. Obediently, he went to stand behind the heavy drapes in the window.
Temple was not alone when he sidled into the Lord Chancellor’s domain, and Chaloner saw the Earl’s expression harden when Lady Castlemaine swept in behind him, still wearing her skimpy shift. In deference to the Earl’s sensibilities, however, she had thrown a cloak around her shoulders, although the appreciative Holles was still treated to the sight of a pair of shapely calves emerging from under it. Pointedly, Clarendon kept his own eyes fixed on her companion.
Temple was not an attractive man. His complexion was swarthy, and he had more warts than Oliver Cromwell. Although not yet thirty, he had no teeth whatsoever, and when he flashed an insincere smile of greeting at the Earl, he revealed a disconcertingly large array of gums. Studying him through a hole in the curtain, Chaloner could see no earthly reason why Alice Scot should have selected him as a potential husband, and thought there was no accounting for taste. In his hand, Temple carried a cage covered with a dark cloth, which he set carefully on the table.
The Earl sneezed. ‘What can I do for you, Temple?’
Lady Castlemaine’s catlike eyes narrowed when he declined to acknowledge her presence, and Chaloner thought him unwise to goad such a dangerous enemy for no good reason – even a simple nod would have been enough to satisfy her.
Carefully, Temple removed the cloth to reveal a bright-green bird. Parrots had been unknown in England a century before, but with more of the Americas being discovered every year, they were becoming an increasingly common sight in the menageries of the wealthy. The parrot eyed Clarendon malevolently and flapped its brilliant wings.
‘Roundheads!’ it squawked piercingly. ‘Thousands of ’em.’
Clarendon regarded it balefully. ‘Is that for me?’
‘I thought you might like it,’ said Temple with a smile so obsequious that Chaloner winced. ‘I know my association with Bristol means that we have been at loggerheads of late, but I am weary of strife. I would like to be your friend.’
Clarendon regarded him with raised eyebrows. ‘Would you indeed? And what does Bristol have to say about this, pray?’
‘Bristol!’ said Temple, feigning disgust. ‘He is a man with no official Court post, whereas you are Lord Chancellor of England. But please do me the honour of accepting this bird as a token of my esteem. I assume you do not have one already?’
‘If you do, I am more than happy take this little fellow off your hands,’ crooned Lady Castlemaine, closing the distance between her and the Earl like a hungry panther. She placed a slender hand on his arm, and he recoiled, as though he had been burned. A small, mischievous smile crossed her face as she reached out to straighten his wig.