“What we have here,” Belinda said, pointing one finger in the air, “is a basic lack of communication. You two need to talk to each other, for crying out loud.”
“Oh?” Jennifer said, raising her eyebrows. “Something like ‘Evan, my sweet patootie, you don’t happen to be kind of falling in love with me, are you? Because I think I’m falling in love with you, you know what I mean? Oh, and by the way, how do you feel about the little news flash that Belinda let out of the bag? Isn’t that a kicker? You’re going to be a daddy.’ How’s that, Belinda?”
“It’s definitely lacking something,” she said, shaking her head.
“No joke. I just want to go home and curl up in bed with the covers over my head.” She sighed. “I wish I had at least a clue as to how Evan reacted when he heard you say…”
“Uh-oh,” Belinda said softly, as Evan strode into the room.
Jennifer’s heart thundered as she stared at Evan as he approached. His eyes were narrowed slightly and his teeth were clenched so tightly she could see a muscle ticking in his jaw.
This was not, she thought miserably, a happy man.
“Can you walk, or should I carry you?” Evan said, looking at a spot just above Jennifer’s head.
“I’m perfectly capable of walking, thank you,” she said coolly, getting to her feet slowly and carefully. “Yes, I’m fine. Steady as a rock. In fact, I’m going to drive myself home.”
“No, you are not,” he said, a steely edge to his voice as he finally met her gaze. “Give me your keys and I’ll make arrangements for a couple of police officers to deliver your car to your apartment building.”
“I…”
“Don’t argue with me, Jennifer, not now. Come on.” Evan spun around and started back across the room.
“Hey, wait just a minute here,” Jennifer said indignantly.
“Go, go,” Belinda said, flapping her hands at Jennifer. “You can’t talk to each other if you’re not in the same place.”
“He’s not in the mood to talk. He’s barking orders like a drill sergeant.”
“Jennifer!” Evan said from the doorway.
“Oh, geez,” Jennifer said, hurrying toward him. “Goodbye, Belinda. If you never hear from me again you can have my half-dead Christmas cactus.”
The drive to Jennifer’s apartment was made in total silence. The ride up in the elevator in her apartment building was made in total silence. By the time Evan and Jennifer entered her living room that ominous, tension-filled silence was nearly crackling through the air.
The atmosphere in here, Jennifer thought, was certainly a world apart from the first time she and Evan had been in her home, the night their baby was conceived.
She sank onto the sofa and clutched her hands tightly in her lap, her gaze riveted on Evan. He swept back his suit coat and shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers as he began to wander restlessly around the spacious room.
It was decorated with white wicker furniture with bright-colored cushions and an oak coffee table and end tables. A home entertainment center contained a television, VCR, stereo and a multitude of CDs and videos. An oak bookcase was filled to overflowing with books.
Evan stopped his trek, stared unseeing at the books for a long moment, then turned to meet Jennifer’s gaze.
“When did you intend to tell me that you’re pregnant with my baby, Jennifer?” he said, a definite edge to his voice. “Or didn’t you think it was something I needed to know?”
“What makes you believe this is your baby I’m carrying? I’ve been on the coast for three months. There are men in California, you know.” Jennifer sighed and shook her head. “Erase that. I have no intention of playing that kind of game. This is your child and you’re aware of exactly when he, or she, was conceived.”
“So, I repeat,” he said, still standing across the room, “when did you intend to tell me, if at all?”
“Of course, I was going to tell you,” she said, her voice rising, “because a man has the right to know that he’s going to be a father. But as to when I was going to share this news with you? I don’t know, Evan, I really don’t. I was afraid it would result in an ugly scene and I was right, wasn’t I? Because here we are locking horns, or whatever cliché you want to use. Bottom line? You’re mad as hell.”
Evan nodded. “I’m angry. I admit that. But it’s due to the fact that I found out about this baby by accident, by hearing what my secretary was saying, for God’s sake. If it hadn’t been for Belinda blithering on and on I still wouldn’t know.”
“I just said I would have told you…eventually. But why rush it? I know you don’t want this baby, Evan. You have the focus you want in your life…your career as the district attorney. This baby is a glitch in your program, a nuisance you’ll have to deal with somehow. Why would I be in a hurry to hear that you don’t want this baby or…or me in your future? Try to see this from my point of view for a second.”
“Who in the hell are you to tell me how I feel, what I want, what my focus in life is?” Evan said, none too quietly. “You’re capable of looking into people’s minds, hearts, souls? That’s a good trick, Jennifer. You ought to take it on the road and see if it will play in Peoria.”
“Don’t yell at me,” Jennifer yelled. “I’ve been dealing with the existence of this baby for weeks, coming to grips with it. I struggled to find an inner peace about the way it was conceived, move past the fact that what happened between us that night was wrong because we’d only known each other for a few hours and…
“But I found that peace and centered on the baby. My baby. Mine. Because I want it more than I can ever express to you. I’ve been savoring the very existence of this little miracle,” she rushed on, one hand on her stomach, “daydreaming about seeing her, him, for the first time, holding him, watching him grow, smile that first smile, take his first step.”
Tears filled Jennifer’s eyes and she blinked them away, angry at herself for losing control of her emotions.
“I didn’t want you to intrude in my bubble of happiness, Evan,” she said, “break it, that bubble, and now you have and we’re yelling at each other and…I don’t want anything from you. Nothing. I don’t intend to make demands on you because I’m having your baby. You can set up a college fund for him if you want to, if that will ease your conscience, but you don’t have to pretend that you’re thrilled to pieces to have found out you’re going to be a father.”
Evan felt as though he’d been punched…hard…in the solar plexus, making it difficult to breathe.
I don’t want any anything from you. Nothing.
Jennifer’s words beat against his mind like physical blows. He sank onto an easy chair and dragged both hands down his face.
Jennifer didn’t want anything from him, he thought. Not his love, not a future with him, not…not anything. He had been falling in love with her, losing his heart to her a little at a time. How did he stop his emotions from going further? Or how did he reverse them? Could a man do that? Just…just stop falling in love with a woman who had staked a claim on his heart and who was carrying his baby?
He had to, somehow, before the very essence of who he was was shattered into a million pieces. Jennifer sure as hell didn’t love him, not even close. She didn’t want anything from him. Not anything.
But what about his child? His son, or daughter? Dear God, he was going to be a father, wanted to be there for the same things Jennifer had spoken of so wistfully…holding his baby, seeing that first smile, witnessing those wobbly first steps and…
“I can’t…I can’t take this all in at once,” Evan said, leaning his head on the top of the chair and staring at the ceiling. “It’s a lot to digest, to get used to.”