‘But the nurse tells me you’ll be fine, in time,’ Hari said. ‘Just fine.’
‘I’m a bit sore, can’t see a damn thing.’ Kate heard her voice thin as a reed but she felt hope fill her heart, her love was here with her, her Eddie. And her best friend in all the world, Hari, was here too. Mammy and the children were gone, taken by the war, and she would grieve for them forever, but she had two people who loved her and that was more than some folk ever had—many people, now the war was overwhelming them, were alone in the world.
‘Mother of God keep us all safe,’ she whispered under her breath.
Kate went home two weeks later. Eddie had returned to his regiment and it was Hari who drove her to Eddie’s house.
‘Come inside, my dear Kate,’ Eddie’s mother said, ‘find your way around the living room first of all and then you can explore the rest of the house when you’ve rested and had a cup of tea with a bit of brandy in it to warm you up.’
Kate brushed away her tears. She felt the fat arms of an easy chair and gingerly eased herself into its bulk. Cushions were piled behind her back and a footstool slipped beneath her feet.
‘You are going to be spoilt rotten here I can see,’ Hari said with a laugh in her voice.
The chink of tea cups was followed by the sound of liquor being added and Kate’s hand was directed to the handle of the cup. The saucer was sensibly dispensed with.
Kate wondered what she should call Eddie’s mammy but that problem was solved by Hari. She leaned close to Kate’s ear.
‘We’re to call Eddie’s mum Hilda,’ she said, ‘I’ve had my instructions and was told to pass them on to you.’ Hari paused. ‘Eddie is coming home on leave in a few weeks and then you’ll be married, you lucky girl.’
The tea was hot and the brandy taste strong and Kate began to relax.
‘Were they good to you in hospital?’ Hari touched her arm. Before Kate could answer there was a ring on the doorbell and the sound of Hilda opening the door. Kate froze as she heard an anguished cry.
‘God no, not again. So soon, it can’t be!’ Hilda came back into the room her footsteps dragging against the lino and the sound fading as she stepped on to the jute carpeting.
‘I’ve got a telegram, Kate, about our boy. He went back to the front line and no one can find him.’ There was a rustle of paper. ‘Missing believed killed in action, it says. Dear God, I can’t go through it all again.’
Kate held out her arms and the two women embraced, crying soundless tears. Her life was over. Eddie had come to her in hospital, offered her love and marriage and now he was gone again. How could she bear to live for even one more day?
Sixteen
I was glad Hari was too busy to come and see me at the farm. I knew I was jealous of her and I hated the way she and Michael had looked at each other. Aunt Jessie talked to me about it and I listened; she knew Michael better than anyone in the world. She was his mother after all, even if she wouldn’t admit it. I knew she had her reasons; Auntie Jessie always had her reasons. Part of it was to do with Michael’s German father.
‘People often have an attraction for each other,’ she explained again, with patience. It won’t last, believe me. Your sister Hari is clever, she will go far, she’s not cut out to be a farmer’s wife.’
‘But again, am I?’ It was a question with a deeper question behind it and we both knew it.
‘You might just be.’
‘Danke!’ I’d never shown Aunt Jessie I was learning German and I saw at once I’d made a mistake.
‘Don’t you dare use that language here girl!’ She was fierce. ‘Don’t you realize Michael could be deported and what would we do then, eh?’
‘Sorry—sorry, I won’t do it again Aunt Jessie. It’s just a word I heard. I think it means thank you and I was just being clever. I see now it’s silly of me, “twp” as you would say.’
Aunt Jessie calmed down. ‘I know you’re a bright girl, you probably have a head for languages; I know you speak Welsh better than you ever did in Swansea and there’s no harm in that, no harm at all—but German? No!’
‘I understand.’ I hung my head. We both knew I wouldn’t put Michael in danger any more than she would. ‘I would be lost without Michael.’ It was unnecessary to say it but it pleased Aunt Jessie and she smiled.
‘You’d best get ready for school, miss. You’re getting older, you need your education more than ever now. The world is changing, Meryl, lots of doors are going to open to women, you see, because the war is claiming our young men, older ones too now the age of call-up is raised. See, even my farm is smaller now, just a few cattle, enough to keep us going; it’s all Michael can cope with anyway but one day Michael will want to make his own life, perhaps far away from our shores.’
I knew what she meant, he might want to go to Germany, see if he could find his father again. At the thought, my heart plummeted. But that wouldn’t happen, not unless he took me with him. I was decided on it.
I saw him across the fields. He was turning the big horse round. I had no idea what task he was doing, I only had the vaguest idea of farm life and didn’t really want to know any more. Michael and I wouldn’t be spending our life on a farm.
As I neared the red-brick school I saw George in the distance. I noticed he was bigger now, thinner but with broad shoulders. His ginger hair had darkened to a nice brown; he wasn’t bad-looking now, nearly as nice as John Adams. I smiled wryly as I hadn’t thought about John in a long time. I hadn’t seen him—not since we were taken off the bus at Carmarthen and sent to our ‘new homes’.
‘Bore dda, Meryl,’ George said. I knew he meant, ‘Good morning’ but I gave him a fierce look.
‘What’s good about it now I’ve seen you?’
‘Nice to see you still got a sense of humour, girl.’
‘Sense of humour? You wouldn’t know one if it bit you on the bum.’
‘I don’t know anything about a bite on the bum,’ he said, ‘but I know well enough what a clout between the legs feels like.’
I had to laugh then. ‘All right, George, you’re growing up but don’t think this makes us friends. I had a lot more bruises than you when you gave me a hiding.’
He went red in the face and looked ashamed. ‘I wouldn’t hit you now, Meryl.’ His eyes roved over me and I knew my breasts were poking out through my coat. I had hair on the lower part of my belly now. I suppose I’d become a woman without really noticing. I hoped Michael had noticed.
Feeling happy at the thought, I actually smiled at George for pointing out I’d changed from a spoiled kid into a nearly grown-up woman.
George looked dazzled. ‘Could we be sort of friends?’ he asked. I put my head on one side and considered.
‘As long as you don’t try kissing me or anything daft like that.’
He clutched his cap in his hand, screwing it up into a ball. The wicked witch Dixon wouldn’t like that at all. I decided to be friends with George if only to irritate his mother.
‘Aye, we can be friends, George.’
He smiled. He wasn’t half bad-looking these days I thought again. Funny I hadn’t noticed before.
The teacher rang the bell and we filed into our classes. I was in the ‘A’ block for maths, so was George. He took the liberty of sitting beside me and I froze him with a look. He didn’t seem to notice and soon I was immersed in the magic of numbers.