‘I do love you!’ Kate pressed herself against him wound her arms around his neck, her hand on his hair. She felt the edge of his army cap. Soon Eddie would be off to war and he would go hating her.
‘You’d better go home.’ His voice was breathless. She could feel him hard against her. Experienced now, she slipped open his buttons and touched him; he was so taut his skin was like silk. He groaned. ‘Kate, please don’t, I’ve tried so hard to be respectful. I’ve worshipped you like a goddess.’
She drew him down on the ground and took control of him. He had no will to resist though when he entered her, he was crying bitter tears. It was over in minutes and he fell away from her still crying. She held him then for a long while and they lay like wounded animals together.
Overhead, the planes began to drone, German planes. The bombs exploded round them, the incendiary bombs lit up the world. It was like a party, but in Kate’s heart, it was more like a wake.
Nine
I was cold, my feet were wet, my stomach ‘felt as if my throat had been cut’ as Kate’s mum used to say. Anyway, my poor belly was empty and grumbling, I felt angry and miserable and all I wanted to do was lie down and go to sleep.
I found a barn at last and stumbled inside and pulled bits of straw over me for warmth. Straw was supposed to be warm, according to war hints you could even cook food in straw. I could hear the sound of some animal in the darkness but I didn’t care, I couldn’t go another step further not even if a cow sat down at my side and fell asleep with me.
I was dozing when I heard Michael’s voice, and I thought I was dreaming. I sat up when my name was called and I crawled to the door and peered out. I could see the dimness of a lantern quite near.
‘Michael!’ My voice quavered with weariness but he heard me. He came towards me at a run and I took his hand and pulled him into the barn.
He sat down and hugged me and then, as I winced, he began to examine my cuts and bruises. ‘The bastards!’ he said. ‘The Dixons did this to you I suppose.’
‘Well it was Georgie, Mrs Dixon was out feeding the chickens.’
He sighed. ‘Aye, well, she would be. Come on, let me get you home.’
‘Got the cart?’ I asked hopefully.
‘No, I’ve been searching on foot, thought you might be hiding somewhere after fat George came and told us you’d run away again.’
‘He could manage to walk then?’ I didn’t explain but Michael got the message and started to laugh.
‘Caught him where it hurt then? Good for you girl.’ He put his arm around me. ‘Let’s go.’
‘I can’t.’ I shook my head. ‘I just can’t go anywhere now, Michael, I’m tired and I hurt. Just cuddle me and let me sleep.’
‘I really should take you home.’
‘Put some straw over me, Michael, I can’t walk another step.’ I closed my eyes and leaned against the warmth of his chest. Now that was a chest: flat, hard, lovely to lie against. My eyes began to close and soon I could hear by Michael’s easy breathing that he was asleep. I cuddled closer and his arm closed around me and a bubble of happiness erupted inside me and I slept beside him like a baby till morning.
Aunt Jessie’s face was troubled when she saw us. ‘Where have you been all night?’ she asked, gesturing with her head that there were other people present. The ‘authorities’ I guessed.
‘We’ve been walking home,’ I said quickly before Michael could open his mouth. I knew instinctively that to tell the truth that we slept in a barn would be misunderstood by the man and Miss hag-faced Preston. ‘I’d run a long way from the Dixons’ house and I was lucky Michael found me when the dawn was just rising.’ I hoped that was the right thing to say, folk in the country set great store by the sunrise and sunset. Apparently it was.
Aunt Jessie turned my face up to hers and then held me at arm’s length and examined my arms and legs. Obligingly I lifted my liberty bodice and the bruises on my skinny ribs were purple and angry.
‘Duw Anwyl! Dear God, who has beat you so bad child?’ At that cry Miss Preston came tearing out into the hall. She looked at my bruises and to my shame pulled down my drawers.
‘Her lower abdomen seems unhurt, I don’t think there’s been a sexual assault,’ she said crisply, but for once there was a glimmer of compassion in her eyes.
‘No child should be beaten like this however difficult and disobedient they are,’ she said. ‘I shall have Mrs Dixon struck off the list of helpers and might even have her charged with assault.’
I knew she’d be wasting her time. Mrs Dixon was not in the house when George hit me—she’d claim I was as bad as him. Still, I tried a smile but by the lady’s stiff look it was more shark about to bite than grateful child.
Seeing I might be listened to for once I opened my mouth. ‘Can my sister Hari come to see me, I feel very sick.’ If my voice was tremulous it wasn’t all put on. I shivered—that wasn’t an act at all—and fell into a chair. My head was spinning and all I wanted to do was go to bed and sleep for ever.
I had my wish. The man and woman vanished abruptly. Aunt Jessie washed me, very gently wrapped me into one of her voluminous flannel nighties and tucked me up in bed. ‘Can Michael sit with me till I fall asleep?’ I asked humbly. ‘He’s like a big brother to me.’ That was an inspired touch.
‘Of course, darling girl. Michael, the cows can wait a few minutes for the milking, sit with our Meryl for a while.’
He sighed but came to sit with me and I took his hand. ‘My dear, dear Michael, you always come to my rescue, I love you.’
He ruffled my hair. ‘And I love you, you little imp. Now go to sleep, there’s a good girl.’
I pressed his hand against my cheek and I didn’t let myself drop off to sleep until Michael had released his hand and crept away.
By the time Hari came to see me I was feeling much better but still in bed on Aunt Jessie’s orders. They came into the room together, chatting like old friends, Aunt Jessie, all grey hair and pins and my lovely red-haired sister looking like she just stepped out of the pages of a model magazine.
‘Oh, Meryl, you look awful, you’re black and blue!’ She examined my face for a good spot to kiss me and then planted a kiss on my chin, which George had somehow missed. ‘That boy Dixon must be a real beast! If I got my hands on him I’d kill him myself.’
‘Don’t worry, the Germans might drop a bomb on him,’ I said encouragingly, ‘mind they don’t come here often.’ And then Michael came into the room.
I glanced quickly at Hari willing her not to put her foot in it. ‘Michael’s dad was sort of, well foreign,’ I said and, being intelligent, she got the message. ‘Michael’s my guardian angel.’ I wanted Hari to have the right impression of him. ‘Twice he’s been the one to find me when I ran away from the Dixons.’
Hari’s face was flushed; it must have been the heat of the fire Aunt Jessie had kept blazing in the black grate in my room.
‘I don’t know why they sent you back to that woman, they want a good talking to and I’m the one to give it.’ Hari sounded annoyed and as I thought of Miss Preston I felt sorry for her.
‘I did my best,’ Aunt Jessie said, ‘but that awful woman would send Meryl back to the Dixons. I think it was out of spite. Well, wait until her boss hears of this palaver, her head will roll believe me.’
I imagined a bird-faced head rolling and smiled even though it hurt. Michael came forward and held out his hand to my sister. Hari took it at once and smiled, showing her perfect teeth.
‘Thank you for being so kind to my little sister,’ Hari said.
‘Hey!’ I protested, ‘not so much of the “little”. I’m growing up. Haven’t you noticed, Hari?’