Some people have found Epictetus to be a bit morbid or forbidding for teaching his students to remember that their children are mortal. On the contrary, as I hold Benjamin’s hand and we walk down the street, I have a totally different experience. The Stoic practice of remembering our mortality makes me even more grateful for this time we have together. It makes my heart open more widely.
OVERCOMING THE MASTER FEAR
First, free yourself from the fear of death . . . then free yourself from the fear of poverty.
—Seneca, Letters 80.5
In Seneca’s philosophy death is “the master fear” because it’s usually the worst outcome anyone can think of. Let’s imagine that you’re a psychologist, and your client is afraid that something terrible is going to happen to him or her. You might then say, “Okay, let’s imagine that does happen. What’s the worst thing that could happen next?”
If you keep asking the same question over and over, to figure out how bad things could actually get, then, ultimately, your client will respond, “And then I could die.” Since death is terminal, by definition, it’s hard to imagine anything worse happening after that!
In this way, we can see how death stands as “the master fear.” Based on this insight, Seneca and the other Roman Stoics thought that once we can rid ourselves from the fear of death, everything else becomes so much easier. With the fear of death out of the way, other fears lose their power, too.
Overcoming the fear of death, then, is essential to becoming free. As Seneca writes,
Anyone who dies with the same contentment he had at birth has become wise. But as it is, we tremble as the danger approaches: our minds fail us and our faces grow pale. Tears fall but accomplish nothing. What is more disgraceful than being overwhelmed with worry at the very threshold of tranquility?7
Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius saw things similarly. As Epictetus noted, the source of all evils and cowardice for human beings “is not death, but rather the fear of death.”8 Seneca said that for someone who has overcome the fear of death, it is possible to let go of life contentedly, with composure, while others feel terror. But those who fear death “clutch and cling to life, even as those who are carried down a rushing stream clutch and cling to briars and sharp rocks.”9
It’s for this reason, Seneca maintains, that death is the ultimate test of character. As he explains to Lucilius (but speaking about himself), someone can say and believe anything, and act bravely while they’re alive. But at the point of death, it will become clear whether or not their words were true. At the time of his death, Seneca says, it will become clear “what progress I have really made.” In this way, death will pass judgment on us and reveal our authentic characters. He writes,
Discussions, learned seminars, sayings from philosophers, and high-brow conversations—all of these do not reveal the mind’s true strength. Even the most cowardly people speak boldly. What you have actually achieved will only be clear when you take your last breath. I welcome this test and do not fear the judgment.10
How, then, to overcome the fear of death? Since the Stoics were philosophers, they tried to look at death rationally. They then presented rational arguments to deconstruct whatever fears might be associated with it. Some of these arguments are very briefly listed below. They are explained more fully in the writings of Seneca and the other Roman Stoics:
1. Death is just a natural part of life. When we were born, we entered into an agreement that, one day, we will die. Death is just a natural part of life. Because of that, and because life and nature are good, we should accept death without fear and without complaint. When writing his letters, Seneca visited his old friend and teacher, Demetrius, an Epicurean philosopher who was in the process of dying. As Demetrius explained to Seneca, the only thing people fear about death is its uncertainty. Otherwise, Demetrius said,
Someone who is unwilling to die never wished to live, for life is given to us with the condition it will end. . . . Death is a necessity, distributed equally and unavoidably to all. Who can complain about being subject to the same condition as everyone else? The most important element of equality is impartiality.11
Put another way, death is not a punishment but merely a consequence of being alive. And since it’s a law of nature, applied equally to everyone who lives, there is nothing to fear.
2. Regardless of what happens at death, we will be fine either way. In the words of Seneca, “Death either consumes us or sets us free. If we are released, better things remain, since our burden has been removed. But if we are consumed, nothing remains: blessings and evils are removed together.” In other words, if the soul is destroyed, there will be nothing left to experience suffering. And if the soul does survive, it will be starting a new adventure in a new form.12 Whatever may actually happen, neither outcome is harmful.
3. What is terrible about returning to where you came from? This is known as “the symmetry argument” and was used by many ancient philosophers. If death is simply nonexistence, when you die you are returning to the same state you were in before you were born. If this interpretation is correct, the condition that existed before our birth will follow us after death: on either side of life, there is great peace, without any suffering.13
When Epicurus famously said, “Death is nothing to us,” he wasn’t trying to sound superior or look down upon death with contempt. He was merely referring to this argument. Death will be nothing to us, in his view, because there will be no “us” left to suffer from it.14
The Stoics believed that the soul, or our mental and biological life-force, is material. Because of this, they left open the possibility that the soul might survive in some way after our physical death, or that it might survive for a period of time. Alternately, it might merge with the intelligence and life-force of the entire universe. Seneca and Marcus Aurelius were not sure if this was likely, but they were both open-minded about the possibility. In any case, regardless of what actually happens, none of the Stoics believed that there was anything harmful in death, even in the worst-case scenario that we are simply annihilated.
WHAT MAKES LIFE WORTH LIVING IN THE FIRST PLACE?
The goodness of life does not depend on life’s length but upon the use we make of it.
—Seneca, Letters 49.10
A Stoic is attempting to make progress, and progress is a journey. For Seneca, there is a definite destination point on that journey: becoming virtuous or “a completed” human being. In Stoicism, this involves developing our character and rationality so that we can understand and possess what is truly good in life. In addition to having developed a solid character, when someone reaches that final destination, human freedom, tranquility, and lasting joy result (see chapter 14). At that point, for Seneca, life is truly complete, and one lives in the fullest way possible. Then a person has attained what Seneca calls “the happy life”—a state of deep and lasting well-being. Even though I shy away from drawing parallels between different traditions, it’s difficult to read Seneca’s ideas about this state without thinking about the words “enlightenment” or “liberation” in Eastern traditions.
Once someone has attained the happy life, his or her life is truly complete, regardless of its length. For Seneca, this means that once we have achieved true happiness, or a blessed state of mind, living longer will not make us any happier. While living longer won’t make us more content, those extra days or years will be like icing on the cake of an already happy life. As he writes, a chief quality of living a virtuous or happy life is that “it doesn’t need the future and doesn’t count its days.” That’s because “in whatever time it has, it enjoys a timeless good.”15 For Seneca, finding true happiness is to experience something timeless, which cannot be surpassed; it is “the summit,” the whole point of being alive.