Выбрать главу

esteem; between him and Chomsky, it’s personal.

At the end of the morning session, Renato raises the question of

where to hold the Third Annual Middle Eastern Conference, since

not every country in the region would be as welcoming to Israelis as

Turkey. Egypt would be great, he says, but the Iranians would not

be able to get visas. Kuwait would be great, too, but here the Israelis

would be odd man out. So, Tunisia? Not exactly a thriving

movement, but it could be done on the cheap, and Renato happens

to know someone there in a Berber village; Renato happens to know

someone everywhere. Murmurs of enthusiasm from the Turks, the

Europeans, the Iranians, the lone American (myself), and the

Israelis, who will head for Jerusalem in a few days to prepare for

Passover. It’s resolved: next year in Tunisia.

But because the Turkish movement wanted to keep up

momentum, the Third Annual Middle Eastern Conference again took

place in Turkey, not Tunisia. A year later, in 2011, the fourth

conference was planned for Karaj, Iran, to the consternation of the

Israelis, who knew they could not attend on an Israeli passport. In

the event, a season of tumult, which quickly acquired the pastoral

name of “Arab Spring,” scotched the plan. Renato and Murat (Eran

had since joined the twenty thousand Israelis living in Berlin) held

out as long as they could before canceling. And although word

travels fast in Esperantujo, a Swiss family apparently entered Iran

unaware that the conference had been canceled. “Ho ve!” wrote a

friend from France, Esperanto for “Oy vey!” For Renato, there was

nothing to be done but post a notice that any Esperantist who

wanted to visit Iran anyway would be warmly welcomed by

samideanoj there. For several days, the Swiss were incommunicado,

until they finally emerged from Iran to blog their adventures.

“Hura!” wrote my French friend, as universal sighs of relief were

heard from Istanbul to New Jersey. It wasn’t until 2015 that the

Middle Eastern Conference took place in Tunisia, ten days after a

massacre of twenty-one visitors to the National Bardo Museum in

Tunis, seventeen of them tourists. Before Renato could contemplate

canceling the conference, there came a torrent of emails from

Esperantists vowing to go to Tunis anyway, “to show Esperantic

solidarity with the people of Tunisia.”

* * *

On the second day of the gathering in Iznik, I met Cemal, a light-

eyed, lanky Turk with a dancer’s grace. For Cemal, Esperanto has

pushed open a heavy door. At twenty, while working on the floor of

an electronics factory, he taught himself Esperanto from a book and

promptly signed on with the Esperanto hosting service, Pasporta

Servo. Thirty years and hundreds of guests—“friends,” as he prefers

to say—later, he’s visited New York, Detroit, Europe, Iran, and

Israel and he’s aiming next for South America; he’s passionate about

Argentine history. He’s divorced, he says, making a gesture even

more universal than Esperanto: two index fingers paralleled, then

skewed apart. He sees his ten-year-old-son, who lives on the other

side of Istanbul, regularly, he says, but not how regularly. When the

fizzy talk about hosting and guesting washes down, there’s an air of

sadness about him. As we drive past a graveyard, I ask whether

Turks visit cemeteries. “Well,” he answers, “it depends on the imam.

If the imam says go, they’ll go, otherwise…” His voice trails off. “But

me, I like to go in the winter”—pause—“to clear the snow off the

names.”

On the way back from Bursa, a city famed for mausolea, mosques,

and Fiat factories, we stop and pile out at an obelisk defaced with

the logo of a football team. The Turks milling about all seem

embarrassed, even the teens, who are “crocodiling”—speaking

Turkish instead of Esperanto—with a tall man in an oversized gray

sweater and a shaved head. He looks like Kojak on the weekend.

Switching back to Esperanto, he tells me he’s a clown who performs

in theaters, in hospitals, and on the street, though to make ends

meet, he also acts and does voice-overs. “In a big country like

America,” he says, gesturing toward me, “there’s so much work, a

person can specialize. But Turkish clowns, well, we have to do it

all.”On the bus, I sit with the three young chemistry students, who

speak a smooth, slangless English. I teach them the phrase “take a

chill pill”; in exchange, they dish about their favorite English author

(Dan Brown), what websites are blocked in Turkey (Richard

Dawkins, for his atheism), and in what situations you have to wash

twice before entering a mosque (if you curse or fart). They want to

know, since I’m a professor at Princeton, what kind of SAT scores

will get them in. At lunch, over the local specialty of kebabs

smothered in tomato sauce and melted butter, I ask them each to

predict what the kid next to him will be doing in ten years. Three

sly, mischievous smiles break out, and they all search one another’s

eyes, as if looking at tea leaves. “Him?” says Turhan, pointing to

slender, serious Altan. “Working for NASA.” Altan points to heavy-

lidded Serkan and says in English: “Business. Big business.” And

Serkan slowly surveys Turhan, who’s forgotten to pack jeans and

has been wearing rolled-up versions of his school uniform since we

left the city. “He’ll be a presenter on television.” Then, to guffaws:

“A weatherman.”

3. The Turk’s Head

By some miracle, the final morning of the conference, Murat has

scrounged up some loaves and fishes: four boxes of maizflokoj

(cornflakes) and three liters of milk. While others crunch away,

Murat and Cemal explain to two Poles, Tadeusz and Marta, how to

catch a bus to the ferry. “You get on the bus,” Murat says, “and

when it’s full it leaves.”

“But when does it leave?” asks Tadeusz.

Cemal, like a good doubles partner, swings at this one: “You get

on the bus,” he says, “and when it’s full it leaves.”

Tadeusz shrugs, tosses it to Marta, who asks, “But when does it

leave?” Cemal looks across to Murat: Your bal .

The final talk, given by a professor of philology from Parma, is

about stereotypes of Turks. It’s a PowerPoint parade of Italian

insults, translated into Esperanto: to smoke like a Turk, think like a

Turk, curse like a Turk; when all falls into chaos, the Italians cry,

“Mamma, i turchi!” (Mama, it’s the Turks!). I feel as I did at an

Episcopalian wedding many years ago, when the bride’s golf-pro

uncle told an anti-Semitic joke, to raucous laughter: “What is the

Jewish housewife’s favorite wine?—‘Taaaake me to Miaaami!’” It

stung like soap in my eye, exactly as these insults do now, as if—

what? As if Esperanto had made me, in Hamlet’s words, “turn

Turk”? As if, after years of touring what the Ottomans had rigged up

or bitten away in their forays to Vienna, Budapest, Rhodes, and

Jerusalem, the world had been remapped with Istanbul’s tulip-ringed