“You dung beetle,” Lang said to Beeberling, who smiled and made a little bow.
“I don’t have near that much on me,” said Lenore.
“What an arse!” the two girls were yelling in unison at Lang’s back.
“Lenore, let’s just git. Who needs this, if we’re just doin’ what we want?”
“Mr. Beeberling I’m not here for Stonecipheco.”
Mr. Beeberling grinned and scratched his head under his hat. The electronic image of Kopek Spasova kept lightening and darkening sections of the street.
“This is suck, isn’t it,” said Lenore.
“You can’t get pushed around like this, Lenore. Screw him. Let’s git.” Lang twirled his car keys on a bandaged finger.
“Shit on a twig.”
lfl
“I think you should. I hope you shall.”
“Should I, Rick? Oops, may I call you Rick?”
“Of course. We’re both adults, now. Call me anything.”
“Should I, Rick?”
“As I see it, you would be doing everyone a favor. We need the help. We’re marginally frantic right now, though of course not unpleasantly so. It would be an enjoyable, brief taste of college memories for you, apparently. And I-thank you, waiter.”
“Sure thing.”
“We need some more vino.”
“More wine, please.”
“Right away sir.”
“I should like to be able to see you around, every day, working. It would be nice. And you would of course have the opportunity to spend time around… those Frequent and Vigorous personnel whom you wished to be near.”
“Whoever I wanted to be near?”
“What does that mean?”
“Hey, this is yummy.”
“The eclairs are good here, I’ve found. Lenore and I sampled the eclairs here, not too far back, with Norman Bombardini, our Building-mate, and—”
“It’s really good.”
“I think you should. I so hope you will, Mindy. May I call you Mindy?”
“You silly.”
“Mindy, it would simply be fun. That’s all I’m saying. And how long could it be?”
“Good question.”
“What?”
“Can I have some more of that vino?”
“….”
“And then but what will Lenore think?”
“….”
“Rick, what about Lenore?”
“What about Lenore?”
“How will she feel about me taking her place at the switchboard, however temporarily? I saw that she still has a lot of her personal items scattered around in there. How will she feel about me being in the middle of her personal items?”
“Her items can be moved with minimal trouble.”
“That’s not exactly what I mean, Rick.”
“Perhaps if you were a bit more explicit, then.”
“Let’s just say it has to do with my husband and your fiancée.”
“Lenore is not quite exactly my fiancée.”
“And Andy might not be my husband much longer.”
“What?”
“Did you know he was taking Lenore to see gymnastics tonight? The symbolism of which doesn’t escape me, rest assured.”
“Here the answer is that I told Lenore to ask Lang to go to this function with her, I’m afraid. We had a tiff this morning and I told her to. I was being juvenile.”
“But Andy told me last night he was taking her. He told me he didn’t want any… any flak from me about it. That was last night, not this morning.”
“More wine?”
“Rick, can I ask do you really own that fabulous bird who’s lighting up religious television?”
“If you’re referring to Vlad the Impaler, he is Lenore’s cockatiel.”
“That’s not what I heard, emotionally speaking.”
“What did Lenore say to you?”
“Rick, should I be straight with you?”
“You can certainly be straight about anything Lenore told you.”
“I find you very attractive. I’m sorry if that offends you, but I always have, really, in a way, ever since I was little, and you and Daddy would walk around the lawn in tennis clothes, looking for weeds and drinking things that I’d get to drink the last bits of out in the kitchen.”
“….”
“I remember how wet the glasses got in the summer, the water ran down the sides. I remember that. And you were out there in tennis clothes. It was like a childhood crush.”
“… restroom, very briefly, if you’ll perhaps excuse me for just a second, I’ll be…”
“And all it would take is one word from Lenore, or you, to CBN, to get me in the door as a voice on ‘The Partners With God Club.’ Rick, you could be an absolutely tremendous help to me.”
“What about Andy? What would he think?”
“What about Andy? What about Lenore?”
“I’m afraid I don’t understand what’s going on.”
“Look. I’m a professional voice. I’m the best young corporate voice on the market today. Listen to this. This is CBN. This is ‘The Partners With God Club,’ with your host, Father Hart Lee Sykes, and his bird Vlad. Stay tuned, please.”
“That really is awfully good.”
“Damn right it’s awfully good. I’m a professional.”
“But the bird’s stage name is Ugolino, not Vlad.”
“Ugolino?”
“Yes. Sykes claims Vlad the Impaler revealed his own stage name on the plane to Atlanta, amid a divinely induced aura of glazed blue light. Sykes claims Ugolino is some Biblical character or other. He’s still trying to pin down the reference.”
“And his bird, Ugolino. Please stay tuned.”
“No argument about quality from this end, Mindy.”
“You could call the Christian people tomorrow.”
“Lenore and I have an uncancellable appointment during the day tomorrow.”
“An appointment?”
“You might say we are going to the dentist.”
“You’re going to the Ohio Desert, mister. I know all about it. Andy told me all about it. He’s going, too.”
“No he isn’t. That is not possible. Just Lenore and I are going. That’s a fact.”
“Relax. So maybe he’s going on his own. Maybe he’s going with that creepy guy from the baby food company who helped him with the Desert a long time ago. All I know is he said he was going to wander and commune.”
“Just Lenore and I are going with each other, though.”
“Whatever you say.”
“….”
“So OK. I’ll fill in for a while.”
“Good. Good. Fine.”
“It’ll be fun, and like you said I’ll be able to be around whoever I want to be near.”
“Yes.”
“Except there’s still the matter of training.”
“Not a problem at all.”
“I’ll need to be trained. Although I think you’ll find I can remember whatever you want me to remember. I have a great memory.”
“Well certainly. Ms. Peahen… gave me some introductory material for you, which I as a matter of fact have right here… somewhere. Walinda is willing to install you temporarily at my say-so.”
“Train me.”
“Just listen to this: ‘A Phase III Centrex 28 console with a number 5 Crossbar has features which greatly aid the console operator in the efficient performance of his or her duties.’ ”
“That isn’t what I meant, Rick.”
“Excuse me?”
“I have an idea. Let’s go discuss training. I’m staying right over at the Marriott.”
“….”
“It’ll be fun and instructive. Trust me. Check please!”
“Not entirely sure I even…”
“And but what are those reflections in the street, Rick? Look there, by the comer. The street lights up, and then it doesn’t. What’s going on?”