„And you are nervous,“ he said with some surprise. The realization erased the last of his anger, for it put him in charge.
„Nervous? Why, yes, I am a little.“
„I find ‘tis better to act than to merely think about acting.“
„I suppose what you really mean is that fighting a battle is easier than thinking about one.“
„Precisely, but I find the same applies in peacetime.“
„Yes.“ She could agree with him on this. „In fact, I think the Season is merely a different kind of battle. Not that I mean to belittle your experience in any way.“
„It has been years, my lady, but the nervousness before my first ball is unforgettable.“
„I made my bow fifteen years ago, and worried that no one would notice that the embroidery on my gown matched the color of my eyes.“
She looked up then, and he could see that there was more pain than pleasure in the memory. He took a step closer, then stopped himself.
„But that was a long time ago, Major. This time I am going into the battle certain of the outcome.“
Five
„Major, are you interested in employment? I would like to offer you a position.“ She took a step closer. „A position for which I am willing to pay twenty-five pounds a week through the entire Season.“
„Twenty-five pounds? A week?“
She watched him. It was hard to tell what he was thinking. Was that the army training?
„What sort of position is it, my lady?“
„To continue the military analogy, Major: I want to hire you to be my ally. Would you consider work as my escort?“
„Your escort?“
She nodded, doing her best not to duck her head, to look him straight in the eye, to be businesslike. How did men do this? She should have asked someone. But who?
„What kind of escort?“
„More than an escort, actually. Could you be my companion? I would like to hire you to come with me to dinner parties, to take me to plays and the opera.“
Lindsay winced at the word „opera.“
„You do not like the opera?“ She spoke as though she had already known that too. „You see, that is one of the reasons I am willing to pay you. So that there will be some reward for doing what is less than your favorite.“
„But surely you would have no trouble finding an escort.“
„Thank you, for I assume that is a compliment. But you see, I am not looking for a husband. In fact, I want to do all I can to discourage suitors. I do not want to marry again. Not ever. You are on my arm to make that perfectly clear.“
„If we are seen together all the time people will assume…“
He did not finish the sentence, and Grace was charmed that he was so straitlaced. „People will assume that we are lovers?“
„Yes, my lady.“
„But that would be no one’s business but ours.“
Lindsay stiffened, hesitated and then asked, „Are you hiring me to sleep with you?“
„No indeed, Major. We hardly know each other. And I am woman enough to prefer some degree of acquaintance before moving to the bedroom.“
„Then it is not a condition of the employment, but a possibility?“ He did not wait for her to answer. „No, madam. This carries your eccentric inclinations too far. I am not so desperate that I must sell my body like some whore on the corner.“
Did he find her so unattractive then? It was so impossible to consider her as a lover? Was this attraction she felt one-sided? Drat and blast. „Hardly a prostitute, Major, more like a well-paid courtesan.“
He closed his eyes, and Grace could see him struggling to keep his temper in the face of the insult. This was entirely wrong. She should not even have made the offer tonight, but given him time to recover from the perceived insult of her learning all she could about him.
Now she’d deliberately baited him. Why? Because she wanted him to be at least as embarrassed as she was?
„I am sorry, Major. I did not mean to offend.“ Grace walked closer, her words earnest and intense. „I wished only to offer a solution to both of our problems. I have no intention of doing any more than dancing with you. Could this not be purely a business arrangement? I know you were not married when you left Belgium, and if you will assure me that you have no wife or fiancee, then that is all I wish to know about your personal life.“
„I am not married and have no woman in my life.“
The fact that he answered her question convinced her that he might actually be considering her offer, despite the insult. The fact that he’d hesitated a moment in answering made her wonder what he was not telling her.
„Then that is all I need to know. I am offering you the position purely in the nature of a business proposal.“
„Business it may be, my lady, but not any that I wish to be a part of.“
„Please, there is no need to answer me now.“ She wanted to touch him, but knew that even a hand on his arm was more contact than he would tolerate. „Lady Harriston told me that she plans to invite you to her ball. I hope to see you there. Can I count on your presence being your answer? And please, sir, do forgive the insult.“
He gave a curt nod, bowed and without another word left her alone.
Grace grabbed the port and took a healthy sip, and before she’d finished coughing her aunt was in the room.
„It did not go well?“ Louise sat as Grace shook her head.
„It was close to disaster. I sounded like a crude hussy, lacking in all sensibility.“
„Grace! What in the world did you say to him?“ Her aunt put a hand to her heart as though palpitations were starting.
„First he accused me of using George as a spy, when all I wanted to know was if he was available.“
„Yes. Exactly.“
„I am not going to endure the experience again by telling you any more of it. Trust me when I say that I have given him a disgust of me. I apologized and asked him to reconsider.“ Grace shook her head. „When I asked him if he had formed any attachments since returning from Europe he said no, but I was sure there was something he was not telling me.“
„It would be easy enough to find out.“
„Absolutely not, Aunt Louise. He was so angry. If there is any chance he will reconsider I am not going to jeopardize it by making any more inquiries. He is entitled to some privacy, as are all my employees.“ She drew a breath that was all disappointment. „I think it is hopeless.“
„What a shame.“ Aunt Louise patted her hand. „It has worked so well for the last two years.“
„Because Belney had no interest in women and all Wharton wanted was money to emigrate to Canada.“
„I was sure the major was an ideal candidate, Grace.“
„I think he did forgive me the first offense, the spying. But then I let his lack of interest provoke me into a deliberate insult.“ Why had she even mentioned that? Louise was all attention now. Grace waved her hand. „After that I cannot imagine the major will set aside his pride, even for twenty-five pounds a week.“
„One good thing has come from this, Grace. This is the first time I have seen you interested enough in a man to make a mull of it. Very good, my dear. 1 will be grateful for small steps. I should so like you to learn that sex is about more than a responsibility.“
Grace looked at the port, and the very thought of drinking more made her cough. „It is just as well, Aunt. I like my life as it is.“
„Then why do you look disappointed?“
„Relieved. I am relieved,“ Grace insisted. „He is too used to command and would have been very difficult to manage.“
She turned away from her aunt. She was relieved and disappointed. She could still recall his hands on her shoulders, her back pressed against his chest, feeling.overwhelmed and thrilled at the same time.