They had the drunk at the head of the gangplank, holding him like a hostage against Portsmouth's ill-will. "The others?" Toke asked. "They won't be coming," I replied. "What do we do?" "You're asking me?" He was First Officer. He should have taken charge.
He looked me in the eye. He did not have to speak to tell me that he was no Colgrave, that he was incapable of commanding Vengeful Dragon.
I glanced around. Every eye fixed me with that same expectant stare.
I am the Bowman, I thought. Second only to Colgrave... Second to none, now. "All right. Mica. Take the old guy and leave him on the wharf. Healthy. Tor, standby to make sail."
Some of them looked at me oddly. Letting the drunk go was not Dragon's style.
But Dragon had changed. We had learned, just a little, the meanings of pity and mercy.
"Give him something to tell his grandkids," I remarked to Tor, whose disappointment was obvious. He was the most bloodthirsty and least changed member of the crew.
A breeze rose as the gangplank came in. It was a perfect breeze. It would carry us into the channel at just the right speed. I assumed Colgrave's old place on the poop and peered at the sky. "You still with us?" I murmured.
I started. For an instant I thought I saw faces in the racing clouds. Strange, alien faces with eyes of ice, in which no hint of motivation could be read.
Was this what Colgrave had seen? Had he just looked up whenever he wanted to know if the gods were still with us?
I had a lot to learn if I was going to replace the Old Man.... I looked at the clouds again. I saw nothing but clouds. Imagination?
I paused to reflect on the fact that I was the only survivor among Dragon's four great evils.
Why? What had they done that I had not? Or was it the reverse?
The crew seemed thin. How many had been redeemed? "Toke, take a muster."
"I have, Captain. We lost five besides those you know. One-Hand Nedo, Fat Poppo...."
"Poppo? Really? He said he knew.... I'm glad for him. But we'll miss them all."
"We will, Captain."
Mica's "We are all children of evil" returned to me. I think I understood now. He was stating the reason why I could not understand why some had been redeemed and some not. The evil in us was such that we could not recognize facts laid openly before us. It would take a moment of truth, an instant of revelation, to drive the message home.
I remembered sitting with Priest and Mica and the Kid, fishing, pulling in a sand shark that just could not quit hitting our hooks. I glanced at the clouds and wondered if they would quit the way we had quit trying to teach that stupid shark.
XVI
The dividing line between the sea and the Silverbind's flood is as sharp as a pen stroke. Turgid brown against slightly choppy jade. The two do not mix till you are out of sight of land.
Dragon is in the brown, straining toward the green. We have bent on every piece of canvas we can find. Lank Tor is up top yelling things nobody wants to hear.
"Another one. Captain. On the starboard quarter."
Their sails crowd the north. They came back in a hurry.
I try to think like Colgrave. What would he do?
Colgrave would fight. Colgrave always fought.
I try to remember his face. I cannot. The forgetfulness of Dragon is at work. Before long he, and the others, will be completely forgotten and we'll have a whole new style.
It is necessary. Colgrave was incapable of backing down. But Dragon is no longer invincible. These Itaskian's fathers proved how vincible we are. They just have to be willing to pay an extreme price.
I look at the clouds. "You tired of hauling in the same stupid sharks?"
A distant cloud wears a face for an instant. I swear it sticks out its tongue.
The tongue is lightning. It stabs the sea. "Steer for that," I order. The helmsman shifts our heading.
Another bolt falls. Then another and another. The sky grows dark. The wind picks up. Dragon fairly dances toward the sudden foul weather. The sails in the north seem to bounce in anger as this slim chance to escape develops.
"Damn you!" I shake a fist at the sky. For an instant I think I hear mocking laughter.
The seasickness is grinding my entrails already. It will be tearing me apart after we hit the storm.
The gods do have senses of humor. But the level seems to be that which ties the tails of cats for draping over clotheslines.
Lightning bolts are falling like the javelins of a celestial army. The helmsman is nervous. He keeps glancing my way, awaiting the order to turn away. Others join him.
Nobody asks questions.
My predecessor trained them well.
Now they are hitting the sea around us. We have never seen anything like this....
"Tor?"
"They're coming after us, Captain."
Those bold, brave fools. They would be. They know the game well now. They know they have to be as determined as we.
The granddaddy bolt of them all hits the mainmast. Tor shrieks. The mast snaps. Topmen scream. The Kid tumbles through the rigging and hits the maindeck with a thud I can hear over the roar of wind and sea. The masts, the spars, the lines and stays all begin to glow. Dragon crawls with a pale, cold fire that must be visible for miles.
She rides up a mountainous wave and plunges down its nether side.
Darkness comes, sudden and sharp as a swordstroke.
I am striding across the poop when it does, intending to take a look at the Kid.
I trip into the rail when the light returns as suddenly as it went. I catch myself, look around.
We are in a bank of dense fog. The sea is absolutely still. "Damned! No."
The fogs thins quickly. I can see my command.
The men are scattered over the decks, motionless, eyes glassy. I know where we are, what has happened. We have returned to the beginning, and Colgrave's sacrifices were in vain.
The jokes of the gods can be damned cruel.
The fog gives way. We glide into the heart of a circle of lifeless jade sea. Lethargy gnaws at me. It takes all my will to take up my bow so I can use it as a prop on which to lean.
I will not go down. I will not fall. I refuse. They do not have the Power....
Dragon eases to a stop and begins revolving slowly in the imperceptible current. The featureless face of the fog slides past. The mist overhead is light sometimes, and sometimes dark. It does not make an exciting sky. Before long I lose interest in counting the days.
It will not be long before I cease to think at all.
Till then, I must try to find the answer. What did I do wrong?