"Don't you want to know how to melt wizards?" Cimorene said.
"No." Kazul smiled fiercely, showing all her sharp, silver teeth. "If I run into any wizards, I'm going to eat them."
"Then why are you bothering about dinner?" Telemain asked, frowning.
Kazul's smile broadened. "That's for the rest of you," she said, and glided off.
7
In Which Killer Rises in the World
Mendanbar returned just as Telemain began his explanation of the wizard-melting spell. "You'll want to know this, too, Mendanbar," Telemain said, and went right on with his lecture. The enchantment was typical of the magician's spare spells: it required a lot of preparation and a complicated ritual to set it up, but once that had been done, you could use it several times simply by pointing and saying a trigger word. According to Telemain, you didn't even have to say the trigger word aloud.
"Theoretically, a mental recitation would be just as effective," Telemain said. "This theory, however, remains unverified, as no opportunity for experimentation has-" "Telemain, if you don't stop babbling gobbledygook, I'm going to bring Kazul back to listen," Morwen said. "Mendanbar and I know what you're saying, but Cimorene hasn't the slightest idea what you're talking about."
"Yes, and I'd appreciate it if somebody would translate that last bit," Cimorene said. "It sounded important."
'Just thinking the trigger word ought to be as good as saying it," Mendanbar explained. "But he doesn't know for sure because he hasn't had a chance to test it on a wizard yet."
"Well, you'll probably get one soon," Cimorene said. "Have we got all the ingredients you need for the ritual? Because I think everyone ought to be prepared to melt wizards before anyone goes sword hunting.
It's all very well for Kazul to say she'll eat them, but if they have any dragons-bane…"
"Good idea," Mendanbar said. "What will we need?"
"I brought the rarer components with me," Telemain said. "If you have seven lemons, a book that's missing half its cover, and three pints of unicorn water, I can start working on it at once."
Mendanbar pursed his lips. "I don't think we have any unicorn water."
"Yes, we do," said Cimorene. "It's in the cupboard by the buckets, in a jug marked 'Magic-Mirror Cleaner." Don't look at me like that. It was the safest place I could think of. Ever since we put the gargoyle in charge of answering the mirror, nobody but me dares to clean it."
Mendanbar laughed. "I don't blame them."
"Why don't you and Telemain check the library and start setting up in the Grand Hall?" Cimorene suggested. "Morwen and I will get the other ingredients and meet you there."
The two men agreed to this plan, and the group split up. As the castle door closed, Cimorene gave a sigh of relief.
"How do you stand it?" she asked Morwen.
"The way Telemain complicates things when he talks?" Morwen shook her head. "I don't have to, much."
"I thought you were old friends."
"We are. That doesn't mean we see a lot of each other, though I'll admit that he drops by much more often now that he lives in the Enchanted Forest, too."
"Even so…"
Morwen thought for a minute. "The only thing you can do is avoid talking about magic with him;" she said at last. "He's reasonably clear when it comes to normal conversation, but as soon as anyone mentions spells he gets technical. Or you could make sure Kazul is always with you."
"Yes, I'd noticed that Telemain doesn't-" A distant bray interrupted Cimorene in mid-sentence. "Good heavens," she said. "What on earth was that?"
"Killer," Morwen said, walking more quickly. "Unless you've acquired a donkey since the last time I was here."
"A donkey? No, but-" As they rounded the last corner and came in sight of the kitchen, Cimorene stopped short. The cook stood in the half-open kitchen door, brandishing a copper frying pan to keep Killer from forcing his way inside, while Scorn and Jasper watched from the safety of a nearby window ledge.
Midway between the kitchen and the moat, Kazul sat on her haunches, smiling down at the terrified blue donkey in amusement. Since the smile showed a fair number of teeth, it wasn't helping Killer's state of mind at all.
"Killer," Morwen said sternly. "Stop that this instant."
"But it's a dragon!" Killer wailed. "And it's right there! Eee-augh!"
The cook glanced toward them, gasped, and dropped the frying pan.
"Your Majesty!"
Taking full advantage of the cook's distraction, Killer flung himself forward. He hit the door with a thud, shoving it wide and knocking the cook over backward. As his head and front feet disappeared inside the kitchen, a cat yowled loudly in surprise and pain.
"Fiddlesticks?" Morwen said. "That does it." She raised her arms.
"Sky and sea and whirling sands, Stop that creature where he stands!"
On the final word, she brought both hands down in a swift chopping gesture. Killer stopped moving and gave a startled bellow. An instant later, Fiddlesticks shot out from between the donkey's legs. Morwen breathed a quiet sigh of relief.
"He stepped on my tail!" Fiddlesticks said with great indignation. He sat down at Kazul's feet and began energetically washing the offended part.
"I'm surprised it wasn't your nose," Scorn said. "You poke it into enough peculiar places."
"Help! Hee-eeau-elp!" Killer cried. "I'm going to be eaten!"
"Get this creature out of my kitchen!" the cook yelled as he scrambled to his feet.
"Quiet, all of you," said Cimorene, edging her way through the narrow gap between Killer's rear end and the door frame. Since Fiddlesticks seemed more or less unharmed, Morwen followed Cimorene inside. Killer continued to moan and whimper despite Cimorene's order, but he at least stopped braying.
Inside, Cimorene glanced around the kitchen, which was nearly as clean and tidy as Morwen's, and nodded to the cook. The cook bowed deeply.
Cimorene turned to Killer. "Nobody is going to eat anyone here unless I say so. Now, how did this happen?"
'Just how you'd expect," Scorn said from the window. "Killer was being stupid again."
"I'm not stupid," Killer said. "Eee-eeaugh! Oh, help!"
"I said quiet," Cimorene said.
"But I can't move, and there's a dragon-" "I can arrange it so you can't talk, either," Morwen said. "And if you don't start behaving yourself, I'll do it. Cimorene, this is Killer. He ought to be a rabbit of the usual size and color, but he's had some trouble with wizards lately. This is Cimorene, the Queen of the Enchanted Forest I think you should answer her question."
Killer rolled his eyes and waggled his ears, managing to look foolish and terrified at the same time, but after a few more minutes of reassurance, coaxing, and stern commands, he calmed down enough to explain. He had been waiting for the castle cook to mix up his promised lunch, and hadn't noticed Kazul's arrival. When the cats pointed her out to him he had been nervous, but he hadn't really started to worry until Kazul asked the cook to pack provisions for a journey. What had really panicked him, though, had been the dragon saying, in answer to a question from the cook, that the provisions should be for human people only, because she would find her own meals.
"There, you see?" Scorn said, lashing her tail. "He was being stupid."
"I can see why it might make you nervous," Cimorene said to Killer.
"Kazul can be a bit intimidating up close." She considered for a moment.
"Kazul won't eat you once you've been properly introduced. Let him loose, Morwen, and I'll take him over and present him."
"Are you sure?" Killer asked.
"Positive," Cimorene told him. "Dragons are very polite. Morwen?"
Since all the cats were out of danger and Killer seemed to have settled down, Morwen nodded agreement. Bringing her hands together at waist height, she said, 'Fire and cloud and rain and snow, Lift the spell and let him go!"
As she spoke, she raised her arms in a slow reversal of the movement she had used to freeze Killer where he stood.