Day after day, hour after hour Gøran was questioned by Sejer. Gøran knew every last cut and scratch in the pale table. All the marks on the ceiling, every line on the walls. Exhaustion came over him in sudden jolts. A weariness which took his breath away. Eventually he grew to recognise the attacks in advance, the way they sneaked up on him. Then he would lean forward on to the table to rest. Sejer let him sit like that. Sometimes he would tell him stories. Gøran listened. The past and the future no longer existed, just that one day, August 20th. And the meadow at Hvitemoen, over and over. New ideas, new angles, sudden unpredictable leaps. I was with Lillian. He had said so many times, but now he no longer believed it himself. Lillian says no. Why is she saying that? August 20th. He was alone in the car driving along the road. Terrifying images leapt into his mind. Were they his own, were they real or imagined? Had they been planted there by this stubborn grey man? He groaned. His head felt heavy and wet.
"I can help you discover the truth," Sejer said. "But you have to want to do it."
"Leave me alone," Gøran said.
He felt something swell in his mouth together with an intuitive fear that he would let himself down if he opened up and spat out the words, once and for all.
"My dog's back on his feet," Sejer said. "He totters about and has started to eat a little. It was quite a relief. I feel invigorated."
This made Gøran groan even more. "I need to work out," he said. "I go crazy when I don't work out!"
"Later, Gøran, later. Then we'll deny you nothing. Gym. Fresh air. Visits. Newspapers and TV. Possibly even a PC. But we've got work to do first."
"I'm stuck," he sobbed. "I don't remember."
"It's a question of willingness. You need to cross a threshold. As long as you sit here hoping it was all a bad dream, you won't allow yourself to remember."
Gøran buried his head in his shirtsleeves and sniffled.
"But what if I didn't do it?" he whimpered.
"If it wasn't you, then we'll know, Gøran. From our findings. From what you're saying."
"Everything's a mess."
"Were you with someone?"
"No."
"Did you ask Einar to help you get rid of the suitcase?"
"She didn't have a suitcase!"
The words rang out in the room. Escaped involuntarily from his lips. Sejer felt a chill down his spine. He remembered it now, he was there in his mind. He saw her come walking.
She didn't have a suitcase!
"But the bag," he said calmly. "You do remember the bag."
"It was yellow," Gøran groaned. "It looked like a fucking banana."
"Yes," Sejer said. He said it softly, almost inaudibly. "There she comes walking. You see the yellow banana. Was she hitchhiking?"
"No. She was walking along the road. Then she heard the car and stopped. I wondered why and braked automatically. Thought she might ask for directions. But she asked about Jomann. If I knew him. I said no, but I know who he is. I can give you a lift. She got in. Sitting straight up in the passenger seat.
"'He's not at home.'
'"We can look,' I said. And asked what she was doing there."
Gøran was talking to the table. Sejer listened, not daring to breathe.
"'Is my husband,' she replied smiling. Squeezing the silly bag between her hands.
"'Bloody hell!' I laughed. 'That dirty old man!'
"She looked offended. 'Not polite to say so. You are not very polite,' she said.
"'No,' I said, 'I'm not very polite, sod it. Especially not today. And neither are women.'"
Gøran paused. Sejer felt a trembling in his body, which slipped away and was then replaced by unease. What he was witnessing was the actual story. It made him both relieved and sad. A cruelty he didn't want to see, but had become a part of. Forever, perhaps.
"I remember her plait," Gøran said. "I wanted to pull it right off."
"Why?" Sejer said.
"It was so long and thick and tempting.
'"You angry?' she asked, pretty cautiously, and I said, 'Yes, very angry. You women are so stingy.' Then she got a strange look on her face and shut her mouth.
"'Or maybe you're not stingy?' I said. 'Not if you're prepared to settle for old Gunder, and in that case I should be good enough for you.'
"She looked at me blankly. Started fiddling with the car door. I said, no, leave the fucking door, but she panicked and pulled and pushed like a maniac and I thought: she's one of those emotional women who don't know what they want. First she wants to get in the car, now she wants to get out. So I drove on. As we passed Gunder's house she gave me a really distressed look. Started screaming and shouting. So I slammed the brakes on. She wasn't wearing a seatbelt and went slap into the front window. Not that hard, but she started howling."
Gøran inhaled deeply. His breathing grew faster. Sejer imagined a car, askew on the road, and the agile woman, pale with fear, with her hand on her forehead.
Gøran's voice changed suddenly. It became lifeless, almost commentating. He straightened up and looked at Sejer.
"'Do Indian women have just as much room down there as Norwegian ones?' I asked her, and stuck my hand down between her thighs. She went off her rocker. Lost it completely. She got the door open and stumbled out. Ran out into the meadow, terrified."
And Linda, Sejer thought, is approaching on her bike, perhaps she is right around the bend. Any second now she'll see the car.
"I grabbed one of the dumbbells from the back seat and ran after her," Gøran said dully. "I'm in good shape. Running was easy, it turned me on, but she was fast too, she ran like a bloody rabbit through the grass. I caught up with her at the edge of the wood. It was weird, I saw a light flash in one of Gunwald's windows. But it didn't worry me."
"Did she scream?" Sejer said.
"No. She was busy running. All I heard was her feet through the grass and my own breathing."
"So you caught up with her. Then what did you do?"
"I don't remember any more."
"Of course you do. What were you feeling?"
"I felt incredibly strong. My body was on fire. Besides, she was pathetic."
"In what way?"
"Everything was pathetic. Her going to Jomann's. The way she looked. Her clothes and jewellery. All that tinsel. She wasn't young either."
"She was thirty-eight," Sejer said.
"I know. It said so in the paper."
"Why did you hit her?"
"Why? I was holding the dumbbell in my hand. She curled up with her hands over her head waiting for the blow."
"Couldn't you have turned round and left?"
"No."
"I need to know why."
"Because I'd reached a boiling point. I could hardly breathe."
"Did you hit her many times?"
"I don't think so."
"Could you breathe again once she collapsed?"
"Yes, I could breathe again."
"Did she get up again, Gøran?"
"What?"
"Did you toy with her?"
"No. I just wanted to finish the job."