Ariel tips her head. “When’s the last time you played the Fender?”
Ugh. “Last week.”
“Why?”
“Because I figured after two weeks of silence we were done.” I pull out my other ear bud and wad the cords up in my hand. “Latson doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
Ariel studies me in silence and crosses her arms. “You know I disagree.”
“Yes, oh Wise Sage.” I roll my eyes. This isn’t a new conversation. “I told you I wish things were different, but they’re not. I lost his trust. There’s no coming back from that.”
“Your brother said he’s miserable.”
“Probably because Pete threatened his life.” I knew my brother would stand up for me, but I didn’t realize he would hold it over Latson every single day. Jules sent me a screenshot of the reminders on Pete’s phone. Each day there is an alert for Remind my boss he lost the best thing he ever had. I don’t think my brother’s behavior is helping any.
“Let me ask you this.” Ariel shifts her weight. “If Latson called you right now and said he was sorry, would you take him back?”
“Of course I would, but …”
“But what?”
“We’d have to have a serious discussion about jumping to conclusions.”
If Latson has a fault, it’s thinking everyone is out to get him. I understand why he feels the way he does; a lot of close people have betrayed him. Yes, I missed the funeral, but he has to realize accidents happen. He can’t hate me more than I hate myself for that mistake. On the other hand, the situation with Caleb was coincidental. Should I have stayed in my room and tried to ignore the sex-a-thon? Given the outcome, probably. However, I was standing up for myself and Roxanne. I won’t ever stop defending what I believe is right, regardless of who is involved. Whether it’s loud neighbors or Ariel’s right to choose or Gwen’s small chest, it’s part of who I am.
“He does tend to think the worst,” Ariel says. “He needs to move past the Caleb thing.”
I nod. “I don’t think it will be easy for him, though.”
“I don’t think anything worth fighting for is easy.” She pats her still-flat belly. “Case in point, Lil Munchkin.”
I smile.
“There it is!” She grins. “I knew you could smile.”
“Only temporarily.” I smirk on purpose.
She groans and then bites her lip like she has a secret. “What if … what if I had news that might make it more permanent?”
I’m intrigued. “Keep talking.”
“What are your plans after the tour ends?”
My shoulders sag. I’ll be right back to square one. “To find a job so I can refurnish my apartment. Why?”
“If you say yes,” she taps her chin, “I’d like to make you my primary songwriter.”
I stare at her, stunned.
“I’ve talked to Mason, and he thinks my publishing company would take you on after hearing “Fairytale.” If it works out –”
I launch myself forward and hug her.
“Ah!” She squeals.
“Oh my god, yes,” I say over her shoulder.
She laughs. “Do you want to hear the rest?”
I try to contain my enthusiasm and lean back. “Sorry.”
She smiles. “I’m not exactly sure how everything will play out, but there could be yearly advances on top of royalties. You’ll have to discuss the business stuff with them, but I know several people in the industry who make a good living writing songs. I can’t give you an exact amount of money, but –”
“I still say yes.” Is this really happening? Is Ariel Allyn asking me to write songs for her?
“Excellent.” She extends her hand. “So, we have a deal?”
I reach for her hand, but stop short. “Wait. You’re not doing this because you feel sorry for me, are you?”
She gives me a pointed look. “Your songs will directly affect my career. I can’t make a call like this out of sympathy.”
“Noted.” I shake her hand and let a smile sneak out. “Thank you.”
She smiles back. “No, thank you.”
“Time to celebrate!”
Paul leaps in front of us and we both jump. I smash my shoulder against the side of my bunk. “Don’t scare us like that!”
“Gotcha.” He winks.
Drew appears behind him with Dean. He grabs onto the bottom of Roxanne’s bunk and hangs there. “We were eavesdropping.”
My pulse races from the scare. “Are you bored?”
“A little.”
Dean points his phone at me. “Jen Elliott! You’ve just been offered a new career! What are you going to do next?”
“Is this where I say I’m going to Disney World?” I hold up my hand to block the camera. “Are you recording this?”
“Damn straight I am.”
“Stop! I look like crap. There are enough bad pictures circulating of me as it is.”
“Hey. You might want to watch this one day,” Dean jokes.
Roxanne appears from the back of the bus. “I’ll get some drinks. What does everyone want?”
My eyes get wide. “You were listening, too?”
“It’s kinda hard to avoid in this space,” she says. “Besides, I finished the book I was reading. You want the regular?”
We nod and the guys follow her toward the front of the bus.
“So,” Ariel pushes on my knees, “I think you should call Gunnar and tell him. It will give you something to talk about.”
I shoot her a skeptical look. “Are you sure you didn’t do this to be nice?”
“No, but it’s a conversation starter, don’t you think?”
“I think you’re trying to play matchmaker.” I find my phone. I won’t text Latson, but I will send a message to Pete and Jules.
Dean reappears and hands Ariel a ginger ale. I get my Angry Orchard. My phone sounds with an alert and I look down. No way Little J. Congratulations! It’s my brother.
Ariel’s eyebrows jump. “What did he say?”
“My brother says congrats.”
“You didn’t tell Gunnar?”
“No.”
She groans. “Why?”
“Because.” How can I explain this? “Contacting him is all I have. If I call him now and he doesn’t respond, it will kill me.” I meet her eyes. “It will be confirmation, you know? If I put it off, it seems …” I shrug. “It seems like I still have something to hold on to. Like I haven’t burned my last bridge.”
Ariel’s expression falls. “I get it,” she says. “It’s your last card to play.”
I nod. This fight, this break up, whatever it is, it’s different. I’ve left guys before and they’ve left me. It wasn’t fun, but it didn’t hurt this much. I never felt like a part of me was missing. Losing Latson … I feel like there’s a huge hole in my chest. If I let myself think about him too much, it’s hard to breathe.
“If you could tell him anything what would it be?” Ariel looks genuinely interested. “I need to know for when I find the love of my life.”
The hole in my chest aches. If Latson is the love of my life I would hope we’d have a happier ending than a fight over a mistake and a misunderstanding. Since my apology didn’t work, the only thing left to share is how I feel.
“I would tell him I love him,” I say quietly. “It’s the only thing I never got to say.”
~~~~
“Come on, guys. I want a picture.”
Rox, Dean, Paul, and Drew all gather around as I try to fit us in the frame. I’ve never been good at selfies; I don’t think my arms are long enough.
“Let me do it,” Paul says. “I’m taller.” He takes my phone from me, and we all pose for a few fun shots. I’ve been taking a lot of pictures over the last week – my last week on tour. I’m going to miss these guys something fierce. I can’t believe it’s all ending tonight. After Ariel’s encore, everyone in this room will go their separate ways.
“Send me some of those,” Roxanne says. “I’ll put them on Dean’s website.”
“Will do.” I nod and start typing.
“So,” Dean approaches me, “you using the Fender tonight?”
I look up at him and frown. “No. Why?”
“I don’t know.” He leans against my vanity table. “We’re in your home state, your parents are here, and it’s your last show.”
I narrow my eyes. “Do you want me to use it?”