«Oh, brilliant. Thank you, Mr. Holmes. He nearly bit his tongue in two when you came running out of the bedroom naked, holding a shotgun.»
«Hey, that reminds me. Jesse and Phillip asked me if they could take my picture.» «Naked and holding a shotgun?»
«Yep. I believe those young entrepreneurs are planning a calendar of Alaskan men. Something rugged and hairy and half wild. Wild men holding sled dog puppies to show our soft side. I'm not sure I want the puppies exploited like that. Some sick bastard could be staring at the pictures, pulling his…»
«You don't want the puppies exploited? God. I may have to retire, too, Sebastian. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.» Sebastian flung an arm around his shoulder. «How about a nap when we get home?»
«Fine, whatever. Anything for a peaceful life. So how long have you been planning to retire from racing?»
«I started making arrangements this season. It was hard and long and cold, and I missed you like…like I always miss you, only more. I kept turning around to tell you something, and you weren't there. I didn't sleep good up at the cabin, and I think it was because I would reach out to pull you close, so I could keep us warm, and you weren't there, and then I'd wake up and…and miss you again. At first I was mad at you because you weren't with me. I thought the hotel couldn't be so busy all the time, not the whole frigging winter, that you couldn't get on a sno-go and make your way upriver to see me. Then I didn't care anymore if you were supposed to be with me, or I was supposed to be with you. There is no such thing as neutral ground, Peter.» «Neutral ground? What do you mean?»
«I don't know. I think it used to matter to me, how long we spent in your place, how long we spent in mine. Now I think I was acting like a fucking child, stomping off to the Yukon alone. I guess I was happy there, Peter, living that life, but that happiness wasn't enough to make it worth giving you up. Being alone is only good for me when I'm alone with you, and a bunch of dogs and books.» «Uh-huh.»
«What, you don't believe me? I would rather have you than the dogs.» Sebastian's voice was wheedling, and he was grinning out of the corner of his mouth.
«Would I buy a used car from this man? I guess I believe you, but let's not put your sled and snowshoes in the long-term storage, either.»
«That reminds me, I got you some new snowshoes. This Inuit guy I met upriver made them the old way, bent willow and moose sinew. So we can go camping or something, some slow weekend next winter. I've been ready to get out of racing for a couple of seasons now. There're so many new kids coming into racing, most of them are not even from Alaska.
They're in it for the money, not the dogs. Not the fun.» Sebastian's face was indignant. «Can you believe that shit?» Peter sighed. «Yes, Sebastian, of course I believe it.»
«I'm the one out of step. That's what you've been saying to me, isn't it? The only thing I never considered, Peter, was that you wouldn't be waiting for me. That you would decide to move on without me. Never crossed my mind.»
Peter looked up at him, and Sebastian slipped his last piece of tangerine into Peter's mouth. «You could break my heart without trying too hard, Peter, looking at me like that. You eat the last piece. Listen, I've been thinking. Maybe Susan was on to something, what she was talking about. Lots of people do that.»
Peter was having trouble keeping up with these life-altering changes in topic. His head still felt like it was stuffed with cotton wool, his heart beating a desperate tattoo against his ribs. «Do what?»
«People come to Alaska and hide out. It doesn't have to be Miriam's rapist. It could be something else. Maybe his cop lover arrested somebody who skipped, and he thought Jacob would recognize him. Maybe the killer made a mistake, got him mixed up with some Athabascan guy.» «Sebastian…»
«Maybe the killer decided not to wait for Jacob to remember whatever he was going to remember, and tell you about it. We only have Mike's word that someone was in Jacob's room. Mike was sitting in the living room when Travis said something about Jacob having a journal, and he's from California. He could have known Jacob before. We're depending on his word too much, Peter.» Sebastian's arm tightened around Peter's shoulder. «Maybe the bastard thinks Jacob said something to you. And he's just waiting for you to remember. Waiting to get you alone. You could be in danger.»
Chapter Six
Tiny was gone from the living room when they got back from town. Elsie Seward, the housekeeper who claimed a family tie with the famous explorer from the wrong side of the blanket, was running the vacuum under the sofas. Most of the teenaged girls in town worked for her cleaning company at some point, making college money. Her face was settled into its usual calm and sorrowful lines until she caught sight of Sebastian. She switched off the vacuum and hugged him, her tiny, work-roughened hands patting him gently on the back. «Sebastian, I knew you would come!» «You did?»
«This boy has been in such trouble, so lonely for you.» She nodded toward Peter. «And now keeping time with young California boys who play cellos! Goodness. Where were you at Christmas? We were expecting you. You need to stay close for awhile, Sebastian.»
«I intend to, Elsie.» He glanced briefly at Peter, his eyes shadowed. «Listen, about those puppies in the kitchen. I'm gonna build them a pen out back later today, I promise.» «Either of them look like leaders?»
«Maybe,» he said. «They're Queenie's pups. But I brought them for Sam and James. It's time for them to get started with dogs.» Elsie's A-1 Cleaning had been one of Sebastian's earliest sponsors.
«It's too much to suppose I'll ever have any privacy, living in this town,» Peter said, climbing the stairs ahead of Sebastian. «I wonder if Elsie knows anyone who might be a rapist.»
«Privacy?» Sebastian said the word as if he was speaking in a foreign tongue. «I don't think you're going to have any privacy from the woman who changes your sheets.» His voice was wooden, and Peter watched him carefully.
He didn't really understand the way Sebastian was acting. It wasn't like him. Normally when they had a fight, Sebastian would take a chain saw and cut down a few trees, chop a couple of cords of firewood, stack it, and by the time he was done, he'd be over it. He seemed to be doing a lot of thinking over the last couple of days. «We need to put Elsie on Susan's fingerprint list of people Jacob met.»
Sebastian snorted. «Elsie didn't kill Jacob. She was at Tiny's, wearing her blue suede shoes, when some bastard killed him.»
«I know she didn't do anything, but that's a good example of how easy it could be to miss someone. And have you asked Susan if you can give the twins puppies? I mean, she has plenty on her plate already, Sebastian.»
«I don't want to talk about this right now, Peter.» Sebastian took him by the wrist, pulled him into the bedroom and closed and locked the door. A gentle shove against his chest, and Peter found himself with the door at his back. Sebastian loomed over him, a hand on either side of his head, pinning him in place. He felt a flutter of nerves, but he melted into a warm puddle when Sebastian smiled into his eyes and said, «Holy heart attack, Batman.»
Sebastian picked up Peter's right hand, pressed a kiss into the palm, and Peter felt the strange tickle of erotic feeling zipping around in his chest, down into his knees, and he had
to reach behind him and put his other hand flat on the wall when Sebastian took his fingers into his mouth, sucked on them one after the other, the tip of his tongue circling. His teeth nipped down on Peter's forefinger, and they stared into each other's eyes. «Your fingers taste like you've been peeling a tangerine.»