Carl’s Doomsday Scenario
Dungeon Crawler Carl Book II
Matt Dinniman
Dandy House
Copyright © 2021 by Matt Dinniman
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. Permission will be granted in exchange for noodz or gift certificates to Panda Express.
Edited by Cheryl Dyson
Cover Illustration by Luciano Fleitas
https://www.artstation.com/lucianofleitas
Cover Design by Toby Dinniman
Interior Illustrations by Erik Wilson
http://www.erikwilsonartgallery.com/
Thanks (again!) to all of my readers and friends. High five to all my Donut Holes over on Patreon. You guys rock. Also thanks to everyone on Royal Road for reading every damn word and letting me know the very moment I post a typo.
An extra shout-out goes to Fiona the hippo and Blair Underwood. You guys know what you did.
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
Mark Twain
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Epilogue
It’s that time again.
About the Author
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Also by Matt Dinniman
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One More!
1
Welcome, Crawler to the third floor.
The previous level will collapse in 3 hours and 35 minutes.
We teleported straight from the green room to a long, golden hallway reminiscent of the first hallway we entered.
“Carl, look! We’re outside!” Donut said, looking up into the air.
Sure enough, a dark sky rose above us, dotted with stars. A colorful nebula, reminiscent of the background image on Odette’s stage, covered the sky.
The air still felt stale. I pulled my slingshot, aimed it at the stars, and I fired.
Plink. Sure enough, the rock bounced off the ceiling, about 25 feet up.
“It’s an illusion,” I said. “It’s like that mall in Las Vegas. They make it look like you’re outside, but you’re really not.”
“Well, that’s disappointing,” Donut said.
The walls and the ground were made of golden-colored bricks. A plush, red carpet led to a familiar door at the end of the hallway. As we approached, the door opened on its own. A tall figure stepped out, and all three of us stopped.
A well-built, young and disgustingly handsome man wearing a tuxedo waited for us. His skin was a dusky gray, and he had a short pair of devil horns jutting from his forehead. The man stood about my height, and he had long gray and black hair that was held back in a ponytail. A barbed tail poked from the rear of his tuxedo. A pair of black, bat-like wings sat folded tightly against his back.
“Hello, Mordecai,” I said, examining his new form. “Jesus, dude. Looking good.”
“Wow,” Donut said, looking him up and down. “I wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eating crackers.”
Even Mongo’s customary screech sounded as if he was in awe.
Mordecai – Incubus. Level 50.
Guildmaster of this guildhall.
This is a Non-Combatant NPC.
Also known as the Gigachad of the Over City, Incubi are the male counterparts of the infamous Succubus. The smooth, seductive, and ultimately deadly Incubus can be identified by his stunning good looks, exquisite charm, and sensuous feet. They can only be found on the urban levels of the dungeon. They give new meaning to the phrase, “hit it and quit it.”
“Princess Donut, Carl, little Mongo, welcome to the third floor. The training levels have concluded. Now the games may truly begin,” Mordecai said, bowing slightly. Even his voice had gotten deeper. He indicated for us to enter.
We walked inside, and the door closed behind us.
“Training levels?” I said. “For fuck’s sake. You call those training levels?”
“Oh, thank goodness,” Mordecai said once the door closed. He ripped the jacket off and pulled off the tie, unbuttoning the top three buttons. The jacket was odd, with a pair of long slits along the back to accommodate his wings. “I thought you two were never going to show up. I’ve been in this thing for three hours waiting for you. I hate formal wear.”
“The interview ran long,” I said. “I take it the general public can’t watch this part?”
“Nope,” he said. “They’ll watch you go in, and they’ll watch you come out, but they don’t get to see what’s going on inside. It’s like a jury room.”
His room was exactly the same as it had always been, but he’d cleaned up even further. A pair of beds had magically appeared since the last time we’d been in here.
“Those are for the transformation, if required,” he said. “Remember what happened with Donut when she took that enhanced pet biscuit?”
I swallowed, remembering the weird, gooey blob thing she’d transformed into before.
“So,” Mordecai said, “have you decided who wants to go first? I suggest Princess…”
“Me,” Donut said, jumping up on one of the beds. “Let’s get this rolling.”
“Okay, Carl, take a seat,” Mordecai said. I sat in one of the chairs. Mongo jumped into my lap and squeaked, sounding concerned.
“Mommy will be okay,” Donut said. “You hang out with Uncle Carl for a few minutes while I get some work done. Behave yourself.”
The baby velociraptor settled into my lap. I suddenly felt uncomfortable having that many teeth so close to my crotch. If he bit me now, I didn’t know what would happen. I suspected he wouldn’t teleport away. Instead, he’d get frozen like Frank and Maggie had that one time. Hopefully, I wouldn’t find out.
“Okay,” Mordecai said. He waved his hand and a screen appeared floating in the air, like we were on Odette’s show. “Your current race is ‘cat.’ This is a list of all the available races you may choose. It looks like you’ve been given 320 different choices. It is in alphabetical order, and you may click on any of them to drill down to a very specific set of details. Also, the system AI has narrowed it down to a set of three recommendations. We will spend the next hour or so going over these choices, and then I will…”
“I choose cat. Next.”
Mordecai took a deep breath. “Donut, there are a few choices on here where you’ll actually look mostly…”
“Cat. Final answer. Let’s move on.”
Mordecai looked at me. I shrugged. She’d made it clear from the start that she wasn’t going to change. I was just happy she’d dropped the idea of me turning into a cat also.