I laughed. Why would something like this be required? What would be the purpose? Was it some bureaucratic attempt at preserving Earth culture? It didn’t make sense, yet at the same time it reminded me of some bullshit the military would enact.
In the gold pet box, Donut received a black, magical collar for Mongo that placed his orange dot on the map wherever he was. He screamed and tried to rip it off, but after a few admonishments from Donut, he relented and stopped scratching at it.
In a dark corner of the saferoom stood a mailbox, and Donut went to retrieve her spellbook. She pulled it out. “This sounds positively delicious,” she said. She glowed as she applied the book to herself.
“I swear to god, Donut,” I said. “You better have read the description first.”
“Oh, relax, Carl. Watch.” She waved her paw, and Mongo, who was currently running in circles around the prone form of Mordecai, suddenly split into three. Now there were three of them running in circles. One of the forms squeaked in concern, jumped up on the counter and started growling at the other two forms. A moment later, the other two also jumped on the table. The first one cried out in fear and ran, running to hide behind Donut. The other two looked at one another then jumped down and resumed circling Mordecai like a pair of sharks.
“Please tell me that’s an illusion,” I said. The two new Mongos were physically mirror images, but they weren’t moving like exact duplicates. Each one seemed to have a mind of its own.
“They’re real!” Donut said, “Isn’t it great? They only last for a minute! It’s an expensive spell, too. It costs 26 points.”
Sure enough, the two little dinosaurs stopped running after a moment. They looked at each other, and then they fell apart, revealing little gears and servos and electric parts. The clockwork pieces disappeared in a puff of smoke a moment later.
“It’s called Clockwork Triplicate. Isn’t it great? I can only cast it on pets and minions, though. So no clockwork Carl.”
The real Mongo squeaked with concern at the two little black piles of ash on the floor.
“That is a good spell. You’ll want to practice with that one. You’ve grown a decent catalog,” I said, looking over her spell list.
Donut’s spells currently were
Heal – Level 1 (Max)
Torch – Level 10
Magic Missile – Level 9
Puddle Jumper – Level 3
Second Chance – Level 5
Heal Critter – Level 1
Clockwork Triplicate – Level 1
I hadn’t realized her Torch spell had risen to level 10. She usually turned it on as soon as we left a saferoom, and it followed just above us for most of the day. She’d been adjusting the brightness on the fly when we were attempting to be stealthy, but I hadn’t thought about it. Most of the halls on the second floor had come with ambient lighting anyway.
“Will you put my tree together?” Donut asked. “And maybe light my candle? Miss Beatrice used to light candles.”
“Just a minute,” I said. I had a quick memory of Donut walking too close to a line of candles, and of Bea flipping out. She was always paranoid about the cat catching on fire, yet she had a million candles all over the apartment.
I still had my own Earth box to open, which I did now. Like Donut’s, mine contained two random items and a Hobby potion.
The first item was a small cactus plant in a clay pot. The short, squat cactus was only about three inches tall and was covered in yellow spikes. The pot still had a price tag on it. $3.99. It’d come from a Home Depot.
The second item was a shrink-wrapped set of small paperback books.
“Oh wow,” I said, turning the pack over in my hands. It was a collection of Louis L'Amour books. Westerns. My dad had an entire shelf of them. As a kid, I’d sneak one here and there and read the entire book in one night, hiding under the covers with a flashlight. This was a pack of 18 books, all from the same series. The Sackett Family Saga. I hadn’t read any of these. I put the books into my inventory. My hands were shaking, I realized, and I wasn’t sure why.
I examined the cactus, wondering what to do with it, and why they’d chosen this to give to me. Both of Donut’s gifts had been deliberate. A candle to remind her of home and a cat tree for comfort.
I sighed, putting the plant into my inventory.
“So, you want to get a new hobby?” I asked. I didn’t have high hopes it would be anything good.
“Okay,” Donut said. Her entire body glowed for a moment. She made a face.
“Scutelliphily,” she said a moment later, pronouncing it slowly. “I don’t… I don’t even know what that means. I’m a scutelliphile. That sounds obscene. How can I have a skill in something and not know what it is? This makes no sense. What a waste.”
I chuckled. “I don’t know what to tell you, Donut. It warned us the skill would be something stupid.”
I put the potion in my hotlist and clicked it. A warmth spread through me.
You have gained a skill!
You are now Level 3 in the Cesta Punta skill.
That was it. There was no other explanation.
“Cesta Punta?” I said. Was that a martial art? I looked at my hands. I didn’t feel any different.
“Was your potion worthless, too?” Donut asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe.” Donut was right. It was stupid and pointless if we didn’t know what it was.
“It’s likely the art of cracking nuts with your toes,” Donut said. She turned to the bopca. “Gordo, darling. Get me some walnuts. We need to experiment.” She laughed.
“Of course. Right away, your majesty,” he said. He scurried into the back kitchen.
This guy was even more subservient than they usually were. Her Charisma had rocketed up to 70. Mordecai had said while that number seemed crazy high, on the lower floors we were going to see and need much higher numbers than that just to keep our heads above water. With only three points per level, we needed to fight for potions and items and bonuses and everything we could to make those stats soar.
Since it was one of the few spells that worked inside of a saferoom, I made Donut cast her new Clockwork Triplicate spell over and over. It currently took Donut about 20 seconds to regenerate a single mana point. Mongo quickly got used to having two clockwork friends suddenly emerging out of nowhere. He now squeaked with joy when they appeared, and he ran up to them. The other two also jumped up and down with excitement, and the three would tussle, rolling over each other, knocking over chairs and pouncing and jumping on tables. The tooltips over their heads didn’t indicate which one was the real deal. I’d quickly lose track of the real Mongo until the two eventually fell apart. Mongo would peep sadly when this happened and would run up to Donut and start screaming, hopping up and down demanding that she bring them back.
“I don’t think I’m gaining experience in the spell,” Donut eventually said. “It should’ve gone up to level two by now.”
“Hmm. Maybe it doesn’t count in saferooms.” I looked over at the snoring form of Mordecai. “It’d be nice if we had someone to ask,” I said loudly. I’d tried to wake him earlier, but he was out cold.
“Should we move him so he’s not in a pile of his own vomit?” Donut asked.
“Probably,” I said. “But I don’t want to touch him again.” When I tried waking him the first time, his tail had risen ominously, like a cobra. “The last thing we need is some weird incubus spell activating and your manager getting put in a time out. Besides, something tells me this isn’t his first rodeo.”
I really didn’t feel like putting together Donut’s cat tree just yet, and I told her I would do it later tonight. So instead, while Donut played with Mongo and his clones, I spent some time fiddling with explosives.