I pulled up the first dungeon locator we came across to make sure I hadn’t gotten myself turned around, and we turned toward the skyfowl settlement. We had a good 30 kilometers to go.
“Look, the blood is all gone,” Donut said as we passed a place where we’d killed a lemur the day before. Mongo had made a real mess of the body, splattering blood everywhere.
“Remember what Mordecai said? Every floor has a janitor mob. The rats, then the brindle grubs. We haven’t seen the ones for this floor yet. They might only come out at night.”
“Are we really going to do everything Mordecai says?” Donut said.
“Today we are,” I said. “He may have some issues, but he knows what he’s doing. He was right, and I was wrong yesterday. We should never have kicked up that hornet’s nest. Especially now that we know how those elites work. We need to stay as far away from those assholes as…”
You have been stunned!
You have been paralyzed!
You have been rendered unconscious!
Why do you got to get killed? You ain’t so little as mice.
I didn’t bounce you hard.
My head felt as if a pickup truck had rolled over it. I groaned. Multiple, increasingly-frantic messages from Mordecai appeared in my vision. I mentally waved them away. I sat up, looking around frantically. I was in a darkened room. I’d been placed on a ratty, old couch that stank of mildew. I still had all of my equipment. My health was full.
Donut? Where’s Donut?
My chest pulled with fear. No, I don’t want to be alone.
“Donut?” I called. “Where are you?”
No answer.
Carclass="underline" Donut? Fuck, please answer me.
There was no answer. I pulled up my minimap, but I didn’t see her at all. I couldn’t see anything. But she was still there in the party menu, which meant she was alive. Only slightly relieved, I called for her again, this time louder.
I heard something. A screech. It was distant, but it came from another room. The moment I heard it, an orange dot appeared on my map. Mongo. Mongo was still alive.
Calm down. Take a deep breath. Think about this for a moment.
What had happened? I tried to remember. We’d been walking and talking. We’d barely just hit the main road. I hadn’t seen anything. Mongo hadn’t warned us of the attack. I’d been stunned, then paralyzed, then knocked out.
The AI seemed to think I was about to die. It’d read a quote from Of Mice and Men. As a kid, I’d had to read that damn book three times in school, as a result of constantly moving around. Later, as an adult, I’d kept a copy with me in my bunk. I’d read it over and over. It was one of my favorite books, not because I liked the story but because it felt so familiar to me, like comfort food. It was kind of a fucked-up scene for the AI to quote, but it almost felt like it was supposed to be soothing.
Carclass="underline" Mordecai, I just woke up. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know where Donut is. I don’t know where I am.
Mordecai: Oh thank the gods. Are you tied up? In a cage? In a web?
Carclass="underline" I’m on a couch. I’m not tied up, and I still have all my stuff. It’s dark in here, though. I can’t see anything.
Mordecai: Okay. I can see Donut is alive. I can’t see where she is. If you just awakened now, she’ll probably wake soon. You’ll see her on your map when she does as long as she’s not too far. Spend a few minutes looking around, gather all the info you can, and tell me what you see.
The level countdown had gone down significantly. I calculated in my head. I’d been unconscious for fifteen hours. Holy shit. It was a kick in the teeth. Even if I somehow got out of this, whatever the hell this was, I’d lost fifteen fucking hours. When every second counted, that was a serious setback.
I checked my notifications to see if there were any clues. I’d received three achievements. One for getting stunned, a second for getting paralyzed, and a third:
New achievement! Lazarus!
You have been hit with—and survived—an offensive spell that was higher than level 15. The fact you are not a quivering stain of meat on the dungeon floor right now is testament to your sheer luck. It’s either that or you’re banging the producer.
Reward: You’ve received a Platinum Lucky Bastard Box!
It didn’t tell me what the spell was, but the moment I read it, I was certain I knew who had cast it.
“Signet,” I said. “Are you here?”
“You hurt my feelings,” she said, whispering in my ear. I felt a warm hand on my upper leg, between my boxers and kneepads.
“Fuck,” I said, practically jumping out of my skin. Her firm, strong hand held me in place. Had she been next to me the whole time? Goosebumps crawled across my skin.
“You called me an asshole,” she continued. She practically bit at my ear. Her breath was hot on my neck. I tried not to shiver. She was level 60. If she wanted me dead, there would be nothing I could do about it. “You were leaving. You had promised me you would come back.”
“Where is Donut?” I said.
“She is safe. Don’t you worry. I even saved that little dinosaur of hers. Your friend is still asleep and will remain asleep.”
“I want to see her,” I said.
“Of course, of course,” Signet said. “We shall see her on the way out.”
“I’m not going anywhere without Donut,” I said.
“You will do exactly as I say,” Signet said. “I followed you and your pet this morning. I wanted to see if you would abide by your promise. You lied to me, Carl. I was tempted to just melt the both of you right then. But I can be forgiving. I have a forgiving nature. My mother was a naiad, and she taught me that grace should always be observed, even in the face of betrayal.”
“Your mother sounds very smart,” I said. “But I will be grabbing my cat, and we will be leaving now.”
Her hand remained on my knee in the dark room. I felt her palm rustle unnaturally as something moved by just under her skin. “Like I said, your cat is asleep. My mother taught me more than just grace. She taught me magic. Heirloom magic, which is the strongest. The spell is called Water Lily. Isn’t it a beautiful name? She was a princess, once. My mother, I mean. Before the confederacy usurped the crown. I would be tsarina were I full-blooded. I told this to Grimaldi, once. He changed my name to Tsarina Signet after that.”
Holy shit, this bitch was crazy. “What does the Water Lily spell do?”
“It puts you to sleep, of course,” she said. “And you don’t wake up until I cancel the spell. If I die, she dies, too.”
A new wave of fear swept over me. “What do you want me to do?”
She smiled. “Just fulfill your promise. That is all.”
“I promised you we would help you assault the circus. I can’t do that without Donut.”
“You’re going to have to try. This is my deal. My grace. This is how you win back your life.”
Shit.
The bottom floor of Signet’s building was an empty shell with broken walls on three of the four sides. Outside, the sun had made a full journey across the sky. It sank now behind the distant buildings. Donut lay asleep in the middle of the room, placed upon a rotting, cushioned chair. It was the only thing in the room other than a large cage containing Mongo, who hopped up and down and screeched at my approach.