“What is he talking about?” Donut asked.
“He was a crawler,” I said. “He called himself a tenner. I reckon that means someone who got out on the tenth floor. I think he might’ve been famous once. It explains the views.”
“Carl, I don’t want to become an NPC,” Donut said. “I guess it won’t matter if we die.”
I reached up and scratched her head. Forty-five seconds. “I’m proud of you, you know that?”
“Why?”
“You’ve grown. You being worried about Katia? You don’t even know her, but you’d promised to keep her safe. My first instinct was to abandon her.”
She laughed. “I just don’t want Hekla mad at us. We already have that Lucia Mar after us. And Maggie My. And the Maestro’s dad.”
I chuckled. Fifteen seconds. “Can’t say we didn’t try, that’s for sure.”
“Carl?” she asked.
I looked down into her large, glowing eyes. “Yeah?”
“I’m not as dumb as I pretend to be. I know she’s dead.”
“I know.” I wrapped myself around her. We both closed our eyes and braced for the end.
25
Remex screamed. The sudden, terrifying noise jolted my eyes open. I took in the room.
“Fuck,” I said, scrambling up. I jumped for the case, which had fallen to the ground.
We hadn’t died. Obviously. Light streamed from the container like a miniature, caged sun. The explosion had been completely silent. Lance-like rays burst from the glass, one of them streaming directly into Remex’s chest, who was now on the floor, screaming and convulsing. Whatever had happened to him, it had bestowed upon him the ability to roar with supernatural volume.
The case itself glowed red hot. The floor was on fire, the wooden floorboards bubbling and bowing under the extreme heat. I feared the whole thing was about to fall through, taking us with it. The glass case and gem had transformed itself. I didn’t have time to read the full description, but my eyes focused on the Status: Explosion Imminent in the two seconds before I grabbed it. Please, please, I thought. My fingers burned as I pulled it into my inventory. I cried out as the caged explosion disappeared.
“Holy shit,” I said as I cast Heal on myself. My skin had burned off, so thoroughly and quickly it barely even hurt for the initial two seconds. That changed as it started to heal itself. I gasped in pain.
A page of notifications appeared. I waved them away for now. I examined the newest item in my inventory.
Carl’s Doomsday Scenario
Type: Unstable custom explosive
Effect: An explosion large enough to rattle the teeth of a god.
Status: Explosion Imminent (3/1x107)
Created by a man who murders babies and steals rare collectibles from his elders, this device is powerful enough to level an entire city and all the suburbs around it. It is created by combining a massively overloaded soul crystal and a Sheol Glass Reaper Case.
Warning: This item can no longer be stabilized.
“The quest hasn’t ended,” said Donut. “But we’re not dead, either.”
I just sat there on the floor, breathing heavily. My hand ached, my fingers and palm pulsing despite the healing. I couldn’t believe that had worked. I hadn’t been able to put it into my inventory until after it had exploded. But what the hell was I going to do with the thing? The moment I removed it from my inventory, it would explode. I would have less than a second.
At least we were alive.
“Uh, Carl,” Donut said a moment later. “You don’t happen to have any more of those glass cases, do you? Maybe a really big one?”
I looked up to see Remex, still convulsing on the ground.
“Oh mother fuck,” I said.
“You sure have been swearing a lot lately. I’m not sure I like that, Carl.”
Now Remex had a timer over him. Twenty minutes. It hadn’t started counting down yet, but the timer blinked red. I cringed as the new notification came.
Quest Update.
You’ve probably noticed you’re not dead. Everybody say, “Thank you, Crawler Carl.” I’ll give you a second to luxuriate in your victory.
That’s the good news. You might want to sit down for this next part.
Remex shrieked, and the world went white for a moment. I suddenly felt heavier, more tired. A massive racket filled the warehouse, like the sound of dozens of pots and pans crashing to the ground.
“What happened?” Donut asked.
“It’s like when we’re in a production trailer. We just lost all of our equipment stat buffs.”
The bad news is there’s still an explosion coming. A bigger bang, actually, but the area of effect will be similar. I won’t bore you guys with the technical details, but what you just felt is called a precursor burst. It’s a foreshock. The first of four before the big show. The one you just felt temporarily removed the magical properties of all your equipped gear. The next one will do something different.
All of this will culminate with a burst of pure, wild magic much more potent than the magically-infused chemical explosion from which you guys were just spared. Less physical damage to the environment. More face melting. I prefer this, if we’re being honest. Have you ever put a marshmallow in a microwave? Imagine your head as the marshmallow. It’ll be kinda like that. Prepare your defenses accordingly.
You now have twenty minutes to save yourselves.
“Come on,” I said. “We gotta go.” I stood and turned, once again, for the small trap door. I gave one last look at Remex, who remained in the corner, convulsing. Every instinct told me to put him out of his misery, but I knew that would likely be a very Bad Idea.
And that’s when the floor collapsed.
I cried out, landing in a heap in the midst of a room full of sizzling armor pieces and swords. The EMP-like burst from Remex had deactivated all of the swordsmen guards, causing the armor to fall to the ground like junk. I groaned as I pulled a few random pieces of armor, along with a colossal broadsword into my inventory. I yanked myself to my feet and downed a healing potion. At least those still worked.
Remex hadn’t fallen through. A loud, electric hum now emanated from him, still up on the second floor, just beyond the hole in the ceiling. The noise grew louder until it overwhelmed his constant screams.
“Where are we going?” Donut asked. We rushed from the building and turned right, heading due east. I pulled up the quest chat and started furiously typing instructions, giving people their two options for escape.
Mordecai: Take off every magical item you have and put it in your inventory. Stop whatever you’re doing and do it now. It’ll be safe in your inventory, but not on your skin. I don’t know what the hell you just did, but your current situation is only barely better.
Carclass="underline" I don’t have any clothes that aren’t magical except my jacket. Even my underwear is magic now.
Mordecai: Goddamnit, Carl. No time to argue. Nobody is going to care about your trunk swinging in the air.
Donut: WHAT ABOUT MY CROWN?
Thanks to the tiara’s Fleeting status, it would disappear if she removed it. And then it would be given to another crawler, which would be a very bad thing. Only one of them would be allowed to proceed to the tenth floor. Mordecai paused for an unusually long time.
Mordecai: Better leave it on. But there’s a chance you might lose it. It’s possible one of those bursts is going to have a negative effect on your stats permanently. You might get hit with Sepsis, too. The poison effect will be negated, but it’ll still stagger you. Wild soul magic is unpredictable. It turns your own magical items against you. Keep Mongo locked up.