We all watched as Quan Ch pulled up his achievements.
New achievement! Bandit!
Screw Hadji. Hadji was a little bitch, anyway. You have completed a quest, but it was completed in a way unusual enough to trigger the Bandit Achievement! Unlike the real Bandit, who is usually instrumental in helping Jonny Quest complete his tasks, you didn’t actually do anything to deserve this prize. But that’s okay because you’re still getting it. This is one of the rare achievements that can be rewarded more than once.
Reward: Your Platinum Quest box has been upgraded two times to a Celestial Quest Box!
The scene showed him reverently opening the box to receive what looked like a glowing robe. The show didn’t give the robe’s description, but the moment Quan put it on, he floated off the ground. Magical, wisp-like wings grew from the back of his body. His left hand glowed blue.
The newscaster continued. “An incredible total of 83 Celestial boxes were rewarded as a result of the quest getting a rare double upgrade. Borant immediately appealed, but not before that one box was opened, thus putting Borant on the hook for that one. The Syndicate court has convened an emergency session to determine if the beleaguered company will have to pay for the remaining 82 boxes. If so, it is certain there will be no financial recovery for the once-mighty Borant system.”
“So that jerk got a free box for our hard work!” Donut cried. “Are you kidding me? And we don’t get anything? Are we still getting a Platinum box?”
“I’m afraid not,” Odette said. “Their veto negated all prizes. Nobody is receiving a loot box from that quest except that one crawler. That same night, they issued a patch that disabled both the Hadji and Bandit upgrade achievements.”
I laughed. Everybody turned to look at me.
“It’s not funny, Carl,” Donut said. She was not acting. The cat trembled with rage.
“Why is that so amusing to you, Carl?” Odette asked.
I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter what we do. How hard we work. We keep getting screwed. Losing out sucks, but I’ve come to expect it. All that matters is getting stronger, getting more experience. We messed that up by getting involved in quests when we should be grinding. We’re not going to make that mistake again. From now on, it’s all about progression and training.”
Odette replied, “You probably didn’t miss out on as much experience as you think. That magical burst was muted, but it was still big. You may not have received prizes or experience from the quest, but you still got credit for the actual explosion. Because you technically caused it, your team received a handful of experience for every mob that it killed, including all those swordsmen guards.”
She waved her hand, and our stats and level appeared over our heads. The audience gasped, and then broke out into applause.
Donut had risen seven levels, from 19 to 26. I had risen six, from 21 to 27. The last time I’d set foot in a safe room, I’d been level 19. That meant I had 24 stat points to distribute.
And then there was Katia.
She’d leaped 12 levels. She’d gone from nine to 21.
Odette turned to the audience. “As I promised you guys at the start of the show, I have exclusive, breaking news to share. The fourth floor will be opening up in less than an hour, but I have received a tentative draft of the leaderboard. Would you like to see it?”
“Yes! Yes, we would,” Donut said, hopping up and down. All semblance of anger—and her usual, posh television persona—had fled. The crowd roared.
“Bear in mind, this won’t be official until the next recap episode, and as you all know, things can change quickly in the dungeon, so this might shift. But I can reveal this is the current working copy. Nobody knows the exact formula for the leaderboard. It’s a mix of views, favorites, levels, and money earned. But the list usually matches pretty well with the most popular players in the game. Are you ready?”
“Carl,” Donut said, shaking with excitement. “We’re going to be on it. I just know it!”
Odette waved her hand, and the top-10 list appeared.
Current Leaderboard:
1. Lucia Mar – Lajabless – Black Inquisitor General – Level 29 – 1,000,000
2. Hekla – Amazonian – Shieldmaiden – Level 28 – 500,000
3. Prepotente – Caprid – Forsaken Aerialist – Level 27 – 400,000
4. Florin – Crocodilian – Shotgun Messenger – Level 24 – 300,000
5. Miriam Dom – Human – Shepherd – Level 27 – 200,000
6. Carl – Primal – Compensated Anarchist – Level 27 – 100,000
7. Donut – Cat – Former Child Actor – Level 26 – 100,000
8. Ifechi – Human – Physicker – Level 18 – 100,000
9. Li Jun – Human – Street Monk – Level 25 – 100,000
10. Elle McGib – Frost Maiden – Blizzardmancer – Level 13 – 100,000
Donut squealed with delight. “Carl, we’re in the top ten! And Hekla is number two!” She turned to the audience. “I love her. She demonstrates such dignity. Such grace. I can’t believe that ugly Lucia Mar is number one. Isn’t she just awful?” The audience laughed.
“Who is Prepotente?” I asked, reading down the list. I knew Florin was the crocodile-headed dude with the shotgun. Miriam Dom was the goat lady. I didn’t know Ifechi. Li Jun was the Chinese guy from the Maestro’s show, the one I’d helped save from the troglodytes and brindle grubs. I was happy to see him on the list. I hoped Zhang and the others in his group were doing well, too.
“Carl, is that who I think it is?” Donut asked, pointing at the final name.
I nodded. Holy shit. Wheelchair-bound, dementia-suffering Mrs. McGibbons, one of the residents of the Meadow Lark Adult Care Community, was on the list. She was only level 13, having started the third floor as a level one. How in the hell had that happened? I hadn’t talked to Brandon in several days.
“That’s our show, folks! Tomorrow we will have an engineer from Borant on to discuss the ins and outs of this new, exciting level. I don’t yet know what it is, but rumor has it we’ll see something that’s never been attempted before. We’ll also have a pair of crawler special guests. They’re not on the top ten list, but these up-and-comers are quickly becoming new favorites. Here’s a hint: they’re twins!” The crowd roared.
The audience faded away. “I really need to talk to you guys, but I only have a few minutes,” Odette said. She didn’t pull off her mask like she usually did. “I’m going on my own interview in five, on a different program. We’ll be live-commenting on the opening of the floor. I’m going to get flak for not asking you about the assassination attempt, but Borant said it was off-limits. And Mordecai has reiterated that point several times.”
“Do you just, like, watch him all day?” Donut asked.
“I do,” Odette said, as if that was a perfectly normal thing to say. “As much as I can. This next floor is going to be especially dangerous.” She looked at me. “Be careful with that gauntlet. It has the power to summon the war god Grull if you use it against any of his celebrants. They’ll start appearing on this floor. And King Rust has apparently just spent a lot of money on a deity sponsorship. The Skull Empire doesn’t usually purchase those, so it might be an attempt to get to you. I don’t know which god they’ve sponsored, but if I was still a gambler, I’d bet on Grull.”
“Can the god get to us if I don’t accidentally summon him?”
“Probably not. Not on this floor. Ask Mordecai how that all works.” She paused. “He has a lot of experience in the subject, unfortunately.”
Lexis entered the room. “Katia, dear,” the production assistant said. “Can you follow me, please? I need to show you the return procedures. Donut, you can assist if you’d like.”