Maggie nodded. “There’s no question in my mind. Several times, I thought he was going to pull that trigger…” She shivered at the memory. “Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I will never forget that you put yourself in danger to save me.”
“Maggie, you’re my mother.” Vanessa sighed. “Whatever else has happened, whatever issues we have, the fact remains that you’re my mother, and I could not let him kill you in my place.”
Tears rolled down Maggie’s cheeks. “Look, I know I screwed up as a mother. There are so many things I did back then that I’d never do now. I never meant to hurt you or Beck, Vanessa. I did love you-I still love you both-but I screwed up big-time. Every good relationship I ever had, I screwed up.”
“Yes, you did.” Vanessa faced her and met her eyes without blinking. “You screwed up your life, and you screwed up both of ours. But here’s the thing: in screwing up, you gave us both what turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to either of us. You sent us to Hal. He saved us-both of us-so for that I have to thank you. It makes up for everything you didn’t do.”
Maggie covered her face with her hands. “I’m sorry, Vanessa. I know I was a poor excuse for a mother.”
“A piss-poor excuse, when you get right down to it. But maybe instead of beating your breast and crying about everything you did that hurt us…”
Maggie’s head shot up.
“Yes. Hurt, Maggie.” Vanessa took a deep breath. There were things she’d waited a lifetime to say. Now might be her only chance. “From the time I was seven years old until I was about fifteen, I was afraid all the time. Did you know that?”
“Afraid of what, honey?”
“Afraid that the men who came home with you at night would come back during the day when I was there alone. I hated the school day to end, because all the way walking home, I’d be getting more and more scared.” Even now, years later, Vanessa could feel that cold finger of fear on the back of her neck. “What if someone was there when I got home? What would I do? What would I do if you were out at night and one of them came looking for you? What would they do to me?”
“Oh, baby, I’d never have let anyone hurt you. I’d have died before I’d let anyone touch you,” Maggie wept.
“Good to know now, but it would have been even better to hear when I was a child.”
“Dear God, I’m sorry. Look, I know I was a mess back then. I did so much wrong when I was too young to know better. I made a million bad choices and few good ones. I lost the best man I ever knew-the only man I really loved-because I was too weak and too scared to stand up to my father. You can’t imagine what it was like for me back then, Vanessa.” Maggie patted her eyes with a tissue she’d taken from her purse. “I was bullied and forced into marrying someone I didn’t love. My entire life went wrong from that one wrong turn.”
“This isn’t all about you, Maggie. A simple I-screwed-up-my-life-and-I-screwed-up-yours-too-and-I’m-sincerely-sorry is probably all that’s necessary at this point. The rest of it-the explanations, the attempts to excuse yourself that you’ve been making all these years-they don’t matter so much anymore to anyone except you. I can’t help you to clear your conscience but I can give you some of the best advice you’ll ever get.” Vanessa scanned the table and found a pen and a sheet of paper. She wrote something and handed it to Maggie. “This is the therapist who helped me. Maybe she can give you a referral to someone in North Dakota that you could make an appointment with.”
Maggie frowned.
“You have issues that you’ve been dragging around for years, Maggie. You haven’t been able to resolve them on your own, so maybe someone else can help you. It might be worth a try.” Vanessa shrugged. “Of course, it’s up to you.”
Maggie studied the paper for a moment.
“You’re right, of course.” Maggie folded the paper and tucked it into her bag. “Thank you.”
“Ladies, if you’re ready to give your statements”-Hal appeared in the doorway-“Sue is ready to take them. Maggie, come on into the office across the hall, and we’ll get started with you first.”
“All right.” Maggie stood and walked to the door. She turned back to her daughter and said, “Thank you, Ness. For everything.”
Vanessa swiveled in the chair, trying to put it all into perspective. She did love her mother. She’d realized that earlier in the day when she’d willingly gone to the house where Maggie was being held hostage. There’d been no question in her mind whether to go or not go. She simply went, understanding that no one does that sort of thing-no one chooses to put themself in harm’s way-unless they value the person whose life was at stake. For all their differences, they were still mother and daughter. Vanessa hoped that she and Maggie could put aside their unhappy past and find out what that meant as adults. Maybe Maggie would make that phone call…
A noise from the doorway drew her attention, and she looked up to see Grady standing there.
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey yourself,” he replied.
“Come on in,” she beckoned him. “Keep me company until it’s my turn to give my version.”
He came into the room but did not sit.
“I guess you’ll have to give your statement, too?” she asked.
“I already wrote it up.” He smiled but to her he appeared troubled. “And handed in the gun Hal gave me.”
“I was so glad you didn’t have to fire it.”
“Me, too.”
“Can you sit?” She pulled out the chair next to her.
He shook his head. “Actually, I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to be heading back to Montana. I spoke with the head of the group I’d contracted to take out on Friday and they’re really psyched for this camping trip. I hate to disappoint them-I’ve taken them before and it’s a great group-plus they’ve already paid for the trip.” He seemed to have trouble meeting her eyes. “With Dent in custody, I figured…”
“Oh. Of course.” She nodded. “You don’t need to stay. Especially since you have that trip lined up, you should go. How fortunate that it worked out the way it did so that you could get back there in time.”
“Well, I figured if I got back tomorrow, I’d have enough time to get all the provisions that we need, and I can check the weather and figure out the best route, that sort of thing. We get snow in April and May sometimes, especially at the higher elevations, and I don’t want to take them into unknown conditions.”
She held up a hand to stop him. “I understand totally. You have a job to do. I appreciate that. And I appreciate that you extended your stay on my behalf. It was good of you to do that for someone you hardly know.”
“Don’t do that, Ness,” he said softly. “Don’t make it sound like we’re strangers. From that day on Hal’s deck, we haven’t been strangers. Don’t make it less than what it was.”
“I’m not quite sure what it was.” She stood and tried to force back the lump in her throat. She knew she’d be saying good-bye to him, but she hadn’t expected it now, and here. “Maybe ‘two-night stand’ says it best.”
“That doesn’t say it at all, and you know it.” He reached for her but she crossed her arms over her chest as if to put distance between them. He put his arms around her anyway and kissed the side of her face when she tried to turn away from him. “I’ll call you when I get back from this trip.”
She nodded. “Be careful,” was the only thing she could think of to say. Good-bye stuck in her throat and she couldn’t make herself say the word. “The house is open, so go on by and pick up your things.”
He nodded, and then he was gone.
Just like that, he was gone.
Diary-
The events of these past few days have my head positively spinning! Remember I said that Hal believed the same person who robbed Bling was responsible for the vandalism to Grady’s rental car? Well, he was right on the money, which just goes to prove once again that Hal Garrity was among the finest police chiefs this town has ever had. But when the identity of the perpetrator was revealed-well, let me just say that I wasn’t the only shocked soul in town!