Here a strange thought came into his head: perhaps all his clothes were covered with blood, perhaps there were stains all over them, and he simply did not see, did not notice them, because his reason was failing, going to pieces...his mind darkening...Suddenly he remembered that there was also blood on the purse. “Bah! So then there must be blood inside the pocket as well, because the purse was still wet when I put it in my pocket!” He instantly turned the pocket out and, sure enough, there were traces, stains on the lining. “So reason hasn't deserted me altogether, so there's still some understanding and memory left, since I suddenly remembered and figured it out myself!” he thought triumphantly, taking a deep and joyful breath. “It was just feverish weakness, a momentary delirium.” And he tore the whole lining out of the left pocket of his trousers. At that moment a ray of sunlight fell on his left boot: there, where his sock peeped out of the boot, marks seemed to have appeared. He kicked the boot off: “Marks, indeed! The whole toe of the sock is soaked with blood.” So he must have carelessly stepped into that pool... “But what to do with it now? Where am I to put the sock, the fringe, the pocket?”
He raked it all up with his hand and stood in the middle of the room. “Into the stove? But they'll start rummaging in the stove first of all. Burn them? But what with? I don't even have any matches. No, better go out somewhere and throw it all away. Yes, better throw it all away!” he kept repeating, sitting down again on the sofa, “and right now, this minute, without delay! ... ” But instead, his head lay back on the pillow again; the unbearable chill again turned him to ice; again he pulled the greatcoat over him. And for a long time, for several hours, he kept imagining in fits and starts that it was “time to go, now, somewhere, without delay, and throw it all away, out of sight, quickly, quickly!” He tried several times to rise from the sofa, he wanted to get up but no longer could. Finally he was awakened by a loud knocking at the door.
“Open up! Are you alive in there? He just goes on snoring!” Nastasya shouted, banging on the door with her fist. “He just lies there snoring, day in and day out, like a dog! A dog, that's what he is! Open up, will you? It's past ten!”
“Maybe he's not home!” a male voice said.
“Bah! That's the caretaker's voice...What does he want?” He jumped and sat up on the sofa. His heart was pounding so hard that it even hurt.
“And who put it on the hook, then?” Nastasya objected. “See, he's locking himself in now! Are you afraid you'll get stolen, or what? Open the door, noodle, wake up!”
“What do they want? Why the caretaker? It's all been found out. Do I resist, or open? Ah, who gives a . . .”
He bent forward, reached out, and lifted the hook.
His whole room was of a size that made it possible to lift the hook without getting out of bed.
True enough, the caretaker and Nastasya were standing there.
Nastasya looked him over somehow strangely. He gave the caretaker a defiant and desperate look. The latter handed him a gray paper, folded in two and sealed with bottle wax.
“A summons, from the station,” he pronounced, giving him the paper.
“What station?”
“The police, I mean; they're calling you in to the station. What other station...”
“The police! ... What for? . . .”
“How should I know? They want you, so go.” He looked at him intently, glanced around, and turned to leave.
“So you really got sick?” observed Nastasya, who had not taken her eyes off him. The caretaker also turned back for a moment. “He's had a fever since yesterday,” she added.
He made no reply and held the paper in his hands without unsealing it.
“Don't get up, then,” Nastasya continued, moved to pity and seeing that he was lowering his feet from the sofa. “Don't go, if you're sick; there's no fire. What's that in your hand?”
He looked: in his right hand were the cut-off pieces of fringe, the sock, and the scraps of the torn-out pocket. He had slept with them like that. Thinking about it afterwards, he recalled that even half-awakening in his fever, he would clutch them tightly in his hand and fall asleep again that way.
“Look, he's collected some rags and he sleeps with them like a treasure...” And Nastasya dissolved in her morbidly nervous laughter. He instantly shoved it all under the greatcoat and fixed her with a piercing look. Though at the moment he could understand very little in any full sense, he still felt that a man would not be treated that way if he were about to be arrested. “But...the police?”
“Have some tea. Would you like some? I'll bring it; I've got some left . . .”
“No...I'll go, I'll go now,” he muttered, getting to his feet.
“But you won't even make it down the stairs.”
“I'll go . . .”
“Suit yourself.”
She left after the caretaker. He immediately rushed to the light to examine the sock and the fringe. “There are stains, but not very noticeable; it's all dirty, rubbed off, discolored by now. No one would see anything unless they knew beforehand. So Nastasya couldn't have noticed anything from where she was, thank God!” Then he tremblingly unsealed the summons and began to read; he spent a long time reading it and finally understood. It was an ordinary summons from the local police to come to the chief's office that day at half past nine.
“But this is unheard of. I've never had any personal dealings with the police! And why precisely today?” he thought, in tormenting bewilderment. “Lord, get it over with!” He fell on his knees to pray, but burst out laughing instead—not at praying, but at himself. He began hurriedly to dress. “If I'm to perish, let me perish, I don't care! Must put that sock on!” he suddenly thought. “It will rub away even more in the dust and the marks will disappear.” But as soon as he put it on, he immediately pulled it off again with loathing and horror. He pulled it off, but, realizing that he had no other, he picked it up and put it on again—and again burst out laughing. “It's all conventional, all relative, all just a matter of form,” he thought fleetingly, with only a small part of his mind, while his whole body trembled. “There, I put it on! I did finally put it on!” But his laughter immediately gave way to despair. “No, I'm not strong enough . . .” the thought came to him.
His legs were trembling. “From fear,” he muttered to himself. His head was spinning and throbbing from high fever. “It's a ruse! They want to lure me there by a ruse and suddenly throw me off with everything,” he continued to himself, walking out to the stairs. “The worst of it is that I'm almost delirious...I might blurt out some foolishness . . .”
On the stairs he remembered that he was leaving the things as they were, in the hole behind the wallpaper. “And there may be a search right now, while I'm out,” he remembered and stopped. But such despair and, if one may put it so, such cynicism of perdition suddenly possessed him that he waved his hand and went on.
“Only get it over with! . . .”
Again it was unbearably hot out; not a drop of rain had fallen for all those days. Again dust, brick, lime; again the stench from the shops and taverns; again drunks all the time, Finnish peddlers, half-dilapidated cabbies. The sun flashed brightly in his eyes, so that it hurt him to look, and he became quite dizzy—the usual sensation of a man in a fever who suddenly steps outside on a bright, sunny day.