But if not for me, if not for vampire, they might not launcurvived, either.
It comes in a flash of insight.
Vampire and I complement each other. When I need strength and courage, she is there. When she needs compassion and restraint, I am there. We are two halves of a whole.
I gaze out over the land, now dazzling under a blinding summer sky.
Sani said it — I have been wrong to worry I cannot serve as a protector and live life as a mortal. Isn’t that what I’ve done this past year? I’ve walked the tightrope between two worlds and hopeful y, both are better for it. Oh, there are problems that stil need resolving. David and his flickering memories of a night under the spel of a vampire. Harris and his blossoming curiosity about me.
But when did problems ever disappear completely?
My family is safe. I have friends like Daniel Frey who know and accept the vampire. Human friends who know and accept Anna Strong. And now, Stephen.
There is only one way I can protect them al.
And perhaps make up for some of the damage I have caused.
I have my decision.
CHAPTER 48
THERE IS MOVEMENT AT THE EDGE OF THE
PROPERTY. A soft blur of gray moves behind rocks. Then the blur takes shape and steps into the open.
A wolf looks up at me with calm, intel igent eyes.
A thril of eagerness, of anticipation courses through me.
Sani’s messenger.
Wolf comes closer. Not threatening. Her eyes shine into mine. She stops at the edge of the porch, waiting. I come down to meet her. She brushes under my hand until it rests on her back.
The ground tips and begins to spin.
A vortex of sight but no sound. A sensory barrage of color without shape. A rainbow gone mad.
Colors fade. The spinning slows, stops. Wolf is gone.
I’m standing in the middle of a circle. Alone.
Vision clears.
Not alone.
Al around me, twelve ancients sit, their solemn faces reflecting wisdom, understanding, knowing. They are naked except for loincloths of leather, beaded and tied with thongs.
Their faces and bodies are old, creased with age, but exuding vitality and warmth. They each hold a long, slender stick carved with symbols — a tree, a mountain, a stream.
Others I don’t recognize in my ignorance.
For I am more aware of my ignorance than I have ever been. I am humbled to be in the presence of such power. We are not in the cave. I don’t know where we are. It’s open ground and al I see around us is earth and sky.
In the center, Sani. He rises, takes a step into the circle, squats back down, motioning for me to do the same.
As before, I fol ow his example, folding my legs under me.
“You have made a decision,” he says.
My heart thuds with sudden fear. Not for what I am about to ask, but because I have so little right to ask it.
“What is it?” His gentle face reassures me.
“I wil not ask for ortality to be restored. Not for me.”
He catches the subtle nuance of my last words. “What are you asking?”
“I ask that Sarah be returned to her son. She is dead because of me. I can face any chal enge. I am adult and vampire. There is a little boy who lost his mother and aunt. If I can lessen his pain, I wil bear the consequences.”
“The consequences?”
“Grant me twenty years. I wil do al in my power during that time to rid the world of those vampires who would destroy it. I wil make sure my successor is like me — a protector. I ask nothing else.”
Sani is silent. Probing his heart — or mine? I can’t tel. He lets nothing show in his expression.
Final y, he says, “It is always sad when young ones die.
Mary betrayed her sister and tradition. Her al iance with George Long Whiskers led to their deaths. Whether or not you were here, they would stil both be dead.”
“No. They would be alive if I hadn’t persuaded Frey to bring me here.”
“Can you be sure?”
“Does it matter? I am sick that John-John is alone.”
Sani takes my hands in his. “I cannot grant your request.
Sarah has been buried in the Navajo way. She has traveled this path. That you would ask in her name is a tribute to your spirit. I know your fears for the boy, but he wil not be alone.”
I close my eyes for a moment, sadness overwhelming me.
I wanted to give John-John his mother back. I failed. In my heart, I suppose I knew I would. I square my shoulders and raise my face to meet Sani’s gaze.
“Then I have made the only decision I can. I wil remain vampire, protector. I only hope someday to be wise enough to know what is right and to have the courage to fight for what is right.”
Sani’s eyes shine into mine. “Fol ow your heart in al things and you wil not go astray.”
His grip on my hands loosens, but I don’t let go. “Tel me,” I ask. “Why did you agree to meet with me?”
He smiles, patting my hand. “You have respect for the Navajo. For the old ways. There is too little of it, even among our own people.”
He rises, takes my hand, pul s me to my feet. “You are a soldier — a guardian. Don’t fight your nature. Embrace it, learn from it. You have an important role to play. You’ve just begun to understand how important. You seek love, for yourself and others. It is understandable. But seek knowledge, too, and through it, understanding. There are many factions, many battles ahead. You wil be the ambassador to bring al sides together. That is the gift of the Chosen One.”
He lays a hand on my head, a blessing.
And a farewel.
Just like before, I don’t have time to process his words or respond. Sani is gone. The scene around me melts into a blur.
The next moment, I’m back on the porch.
CHAPTER 49
I HEAR FREY CALLING ME FROM THE KITCHEN BUT I’M
too disoriented to get up right away. I’m not sure my legs wil support me.
What happened wasn’t a dream. Was it?
The last few minutes replay in my head as vividly as a movie. Sani’s words are imprinted in my brain, there for me to cal up when I falter.
The thought fil s me with warmth.
It’s as if I have a little of Sani’s spirit inside.
When I walk into the kitchen, Frey and John-John are seated around the table. Frey tilts his head, peers at me.
“Are you al right?”
“Sure. What’s going on?”
Frey motions for me to take a seat. “I have to tel you something.”
I slide in next to John-John. He looks a little happier, his eyes clearer. He holds out a hand to me and I blow into his palm. He grins.
Frey isn’t so happy. “I’ve made a decision.”
I beat him to the punch. “You’re staying here with John-John.”
He looks startled, as if I’ve pul ed a chicken from behind John-John’s ear. “Don’t look so surprised.” I muss the child’s hair. “It wasn’t so hard to figure out. I knew before you did.”
Sani’s words, the boy wil not be alone.
And Frey’s admonition: magic always exacts a price. The bigger the magic, the bigger the price. Isn’t that what he said?
This is my price to pay. Life without my friend. Even if the magic didn’t work the way I hoped it might.
This is my price to pay.
“You could stay with us,” John-John is saying. “I could teach you to ride and speak Navajo.”
“I wish I could. But I need to get back to work. I’l come visit, though. I think it’s time I learned to ride a horse, don’t you?”
He is smiling. I touch his hair, softly, and stand up. I don’t know how long I can pretend to be upbeat about Frey’s decision, even though I know it’s the right one. The only one.