This notion also runs counter to what typically happens in organizations. The whole idea behind every award ceremony ever devised is to allow people to bask in the admiration of their friends and peers. That is a good thing. Research reveals, however, that when this is handled poorly, many people feel resentment toward the people who are being honored. “Why wasn’t I picked?” is a common question. When you can, celebrate team successes as a team and private successes in private.
This runs counter to what typically happens. Teams and individuals alike are often rewarded for breaking records. The danger is that in doing this people also break all kinds of rules, regulations, and policies just to hit the higher numbers. Sometimes they merely cook the books. This is not to suggest that numbers don’t matter but to highlight the importance of rewarding individuals who stick to effective processes.
For example, a group of waitresses at a Matsushita plant in Tokyo received the Presidential Gold Medal for saving money on the tea they served in the company cafeteria[12]. The waitresses noted who typically sat where and how much tea they consumed and then poured the appropriate amount at each table. They didn’t save the most money — not by a long shot — but earned the award because they followed the process better than others did.
We’ve nibbled at this issue; now let’s take a big bite out of it. Most of the recognition handed out in companies is structured. We hold monthly awards ceremonies; we have annual banquets. When these events become the only venue for honoring our friends and colleagues, people become cynical. Recognition feels obligatory and insincere. Praise feels mechanical and cold. Simple, sincere, and individualized handwritten notes are replaced by fancy etched plaques that are written once, carved by machines, and applied equally to everyone.
Supplement your formal celebrations with 10 times as many informal ones. Write personal notes, stop people in the hall, drop off a cookie or flower, and make “thank you” your mantra. Watch for things gone right and then spontaneously and sincerely offer up your thanks and praise. Tell people what they did and why it’s worth noting and then end with a simple “Thank you.”
Make recognition such an informal, spontaneous, important, and common part of your corporate and family culture that formal celebrations will feel heartfelt rather than mechanical and obligatory. Make praise such a common part of your personal style that when you do enter into an accountability conversation, you’ll have built a safe, trusting, and respectful relationship.
Appendix D. Discussion Questions for Reading Groups
Move from “thinking about it” to “got it” with a regular discussion of Crucial Accountability. Organize a small group of family members, friends, coworkers, or colleagues and hold a weekly discussion. Here’s a short list of questions sure to kick-start any group discussion.
For a downloadable version of the discussion questions found in this book, visit http://www.vitalsmarts.com/bookresources.
1. Behind the serious and long-lasting problems that families, teams, or organizations typically face are accountability discussions that people either aren’t holding or aren’t holding well. Explain.
2. What are the accountability discussions you typically avoid? What performance gaps have you had the courage to step up to but have handled poorly?
3. When deciding if they should hold an accountability discussion, what tricks do people typically employ in order to talk themselves out of speaking up? What tricks do you use most often? What will it take for you to break the silence-to-violence habit?
4. When deciding what to confront, what mistakes do people typically make? How does the term “Groundhog Day” apply to accountability discussions?
5. Someone has let you down. You figure he or she did it on purpose, and so you’re about to give the person a piece of your mind. Why is it that you are now you at risk of making the situation worse?
6. Why are the first few seconds of an accountability discussion so important? What mistakes do people typically make when first describing a performance gap?
7. What motivates people and why? When it comes to motivating others, what mistakes are people in positions of power likely to make?
8. When people aren’t able to deliver on a promise, what mistakes might a new leader or parent make? When others are blocked from performing, why ask them for their ideas on how to solve the problem? Why should you “make it easy” for others?
9. You’re talking about a problem, and a new one comes up — what should you do? If you decide to deal with the new problem, when are you merely being distracted? When are you being sensible and flexible?
10. What principle from this book did you find most important? Which one was the most surprising?
11. What skill did you find to be the most difficult to put into practice? Why was that? What will it take to get better at that skill?
12. How can your discussion group help each member become better at holding accountability discussions?
13. How can you help one another prepare or practice for a particularly difficult conversation?
14. What methods can you use to remind yourselves to be on your best behavior — particularly when you’re becoming upset and are about to move into “lecture mode”?
Notes
12
Masaaki Imai, Kaizen: The Key to Japan’s Competitive Success (New York: McGraw-Hill, 1986), 19–20, 107.