I heard her say to Alison when she thought I couldn't hear: "However impulsive Judith is, her heart's in the right place."
I knew they talked a great deal about me and my coming marriage. I did so want to reassure them; but they had taken it into their heads that Tybalt had asked me to marry him because he had preknowledge of my inheritance.
I was greatly looking forward to the day when I would leave Rainbow Cottage naturally because I longed to be Tybalt's wife and in addition I wanted to escape this atmosphere of distrust and to prove to them that Tybalt was the most wonderful husband in the world.
Tybalt and Tabitha were away for two weeks and when they returned they were so full of what they had seen that they talked of little else. I was filled with chagrin because I could not join in their conversation as I would have wished.
Tybalt was amused. "Never mind," he said, "when we're married you'll go everywhere with me."
The wedding day was almost at hand. Sabina had said that we might have a discreet reception at the rectory. After all, Dorcas had been ill and Rainbow Cottage was small and the rectory had been my home and she was Tybalt's sister. "I insist on it," she cried. "I can tell you, Judith, you are the most fortunate woman in the world . . . with one exception because even Tybalt could not be as wonderful as Oliver. Tybalt is too perfect. I mean he knows everything ... all about those ancient things, whereas darling Oliver knows about Greek and Latin. Not that Tybalt doesn't too, but you couldn't imagine Tybalt's preaching a sermon or listening to the farmers telling him about the droughts and the mothers about their babies . . . But our mother wanted him to do just that . . . Isn't it odd. She would have been pleased I'd married darling Oliver, you know. Old Nanny Tester is. But she was always a bit odd . . . since Mamma died, that is. Bats in the Belfry, they say of people like her. It means that they are a little peculiar in the head. Perhaps that's why she likes churches. . . ."
I said: "Really, Sabina, you do dodge from one thing to another, like a butterfly."
"My father used to say I was like a grasshopper. He didn't really approve of me, I wasn't clever like Tybalt. However grasshoppers are rather nice. I always liked them. Not so pretty as butterflies but hopping around seems to me a rather pleasant way of going on. Better than staying in the same place all the time. . . ."
"What are you talking about, Sabina? We're supposed to be discussing my wedding."
"Of course. It's to be here. I insist. Darling Oliver insists. You'll be married in his church and we'll have just a few friends as my father . . . and yours . . . what a surprise and fancy your being Sir Ralph's daughter all that time and our not knowing. What was I saying? Oh, you're to have your reception in the old rectory."
It did seem a good idea; and even Dorcas and Alison accepted it, though they insisted that in view of the recent deaths it must just be a quiet family affair.
When I discussed the matter with Tybalt he was rather vague. I could see that it was immaterial to him where we had a reception or whether there was none.
He wanted us to be married, he said. Where and how was unimportant.
He had a surprise for me.
"We'll have a honeymoon. You won't want to go straight back to Giza House."
"That," I said, "is immaterial to me. All I ask is that I am with you."
He turned to face me and with an unusually tender gesture took my face in his hands. "Judith," he said, "don't expect too much of me."
I laughed aloud--I was so happy. "Why I expect everything of you."
"That's what makes me uneasy. You see, I am rather selfish, not admirable in the least. And I am a man with an obsession."
"I share in that obsession," I told him with a laugh. "And I have another. You."
He held me against him. "You make me afraid," he said.
"You afraid? You are not afraid of anything ... or anyone."
"I'm certainly afraid of this high opinion you have of me. Where could you possibly have got it?"
"You gave it to me."
"You are too imaginative, Judith. You get an idea and it's usually something you want it to be and then you make everything fit into that."
"It's the way to live. I shall teach you to live that way."
"It's better to see the truth."
"I will make this my truth."
"I can see it is useless to warn you not to think too highly of me."
"It is quite useless."
"Time will have to teach you."
"I said we will grow closer together as the years pass. We shall share everything. I never thought it was possible to be so happy as I am at this moment."
"At least you will have had this moment."
"What a way to talk! This is nothing to what it is going to be like."
"My darling Judith, there is no one like you."
"Of course there isn't! I am myself. Reckless, impulsive, the aunts would tell you. Bossy, Sabina and Theodosia will agree and Hadrian will confirm that. They are the ones who have known me the longest. So you must not have too high an opinion of me."
"I'm glad there are these little faults. I shall love you for them as I hope you will love me for mine."
I said: "We are going to be so happy."
"I came to tell you about our honeymoon. I'm going to take you to Dorset. They are so excited about this discovery. I long to show it to you."
I said that was wonderful; but it did occur to me that there would no doubt be a great many people there and a honeymoon on our own might have been more appropriate.
But Tybalt would be there—and that was all I asked.
There was so much to do in preparation even for a "discreet" wedding, including sessions in Sarah Sloper's cottage which seemed to go on for hours. There was I in my white satin wedding gown with Sarah kneeling at my feet, her mouth full of pins, and as soon as she had it free she would talk all the time.
"Well, fancy it coming to this. You, Miss Judith . . . and him. He was for Miss Theodosia, you know, and she gets the little professor and you get him."
"You make it sound as though it's some sort of lottery, Sarah."
"They do say marriage be a lottery, Miss Judith. And you being Sir Ralph's girl and all. I always guessed that. Why he had a real fancy for you. And Miss Lavinia. Pretty as a picture she were but I'd say you took more after Sir Ralph."
"Thank you, Sarah."
"Oh, I weren't meaning it that way, Miss Judith. You'll look pretty enough in your bride's dress. Brides always do. That's why there's nothing I like making better. And is it to be orange blossom? I reckon there's nothing like orange blossom for brides. I had it myself when I married Sloper. That's going back a bit. And I've still got it. Put away in a drawer it be. I look at it now and then and think of the old days. You'll be able to do that, Miss Judith. It's a pleasant thing to do when things don't turn out just as you'd fancied. And don't we all have fancies eh, on our wedding days?"
"I look on it as a beginning of happiness not a climax."
"Oh, you and your talk. Always was one for it. But as I say it's nice to have a wedding day to look back on—as long as it don't make you fretful." She sighed and went on fervently: "I hope you'll be happy, Miss Judith. Well, we can but hope. So let's pray the sun'll shine on your wedding day. They do say 'Happy be the bride the sun shines on.'"
I laughed; but this assumption that my marriage would be a perilous adventure was beginning to irritate me.
On a rather misty October day I was married to Tybalt in the church I knew so well. Oddly enough as I came down the aisle on the arm of Dr. Gunwen, who had offered to "give me away," there being no one else to perform this necessary duty, I was thinking of how my knees used to get sore from kneeling on the mats which hung inside the pews for that purpose. An extraordinary thought to have when I was on my way to marriage with Tybalt!