“Uhh… thanks?”
“I mean, I’ve had to kick those nerds out of the bio computer lab before. They definitely get a bigger hard on for studying than you.”
“Doubtful,” I say dryly. Then an idea comes to mind. “Mmm… studying. Just thinking about it.” I accentuate my breathing for the act and my eyes flutter shut. I bite my lower lip, my fingers caressing my neck and trailing downward. “Yeah…” I cup my breasts and let my hands fall to my navel. “Studying,” I pant. “Yes. Oh, God.” When I slide my hand beneath the waistband of my yoga pants, I open one eye to spy on Dallas. His mouth is wide open in sheer shock.
I bust up laughing before he has the chance to say, “Is this what you do locked up in your room for all those hours?”
I snort. “Totally.”
“Oh, Evan.” He lies back down on the pillow and wraps his huge arms around me. “I have no idea what I’m going to do without your warped sense of humor.”
I snuggle against his chest. “I’d rather not talk about this.” He’s leaving at the end of the week for Costa Rica—with Laina, his field partner. Obviously, Laina isn’t the worst part of the situation. Dallas leaving me is. But I can’t help adding Laina into the equation, mainly because she’s so fucking awesome. She has this adorable girl-next-door look with mousy brown hair and huge green eyes. She giggles a lot, but she’s also really funny. And smart. She’s super smart.
I’m not jealous of Laina. Why would I be jealous of a girl who gets to spend seven months with my boyfriend in the secluded Costa Rican rainforest? Okay, I am jealous. I’m super fucking jealous. But I trust Dallas.
Right?
My gut clenches. He tilts my chin up so I’m looking right at him, and his eyebrows furrow. “Hey… everything alright?”
I swallow and nod. “Just going to miss you is all.”
His lips press gently against mine. “I’m not ready to leave you for so long. It’s too soon.”
“I know.” It’s only been a couple of months that we’ve been together, and now we have to be apart for seven. Not only that, but when he’s finally back in the States, he’s flying out to Boston and staying with me for only a week before he has to head back to California and finish out his semester.
Not fair.
I study his face, his unshaven jaw a mark of his own manic study sessions during finals week. I kind of like it. The corners of his icy eyes crinkle as he smiles at me.
It’s the last thing I see before attempting to drift off.
I can’t sleep.
While Dallas is snoring, I head downstairs and make myself another cup of hot tea. As it steeps, I walk over to Britain’s desk and sit, opening up a browser page and typing in the name of East Park’s school newspaper. On the homepage is their headlining article for the end-of-the-semester issue. It’s a photo of Dallas, Adam, and all of the part-time models. The article is on East Park’s national expansion after the inclusion of male models.
Britain and the newspaper photographers didn’t want Delilah and me to take part in the shoot. While we were partnered up with Dallas and Adam for the last issue of EPE, Britain didn’t want us to be portrayed as their token women.
Sorry, Evan, she said. I want readers to see the men as accessible, and they won’t if they’re never seen with other women.
But Dallas is leaving EPE anyway! I argued.
She told me that wasn’t the point. He had to set the stage for all male models following him.
I hadn’t thought of him posing with another woman until that point. I brushed off the concept of the shoot like it wasn’t a big deal. It was Dallas’s job. He had to do what he had to do.
I watched the shoot with Britain and Delilah. It took place on the EPE football field, and it was like the three of us were benched. Adam and Dallas were in shorts, the girls topless and in tiny black underwear. It was raining. We watched beneath an umbrella as Kayden, a tiny blonde number, was instructed to grind against the side of Dallas as he wrapped his arms around her. Kayden played it up, smiling and giggling and flirting, getting in his face as he was instructed to grab her ass, their lips brushing, bodies wet and tight and, of course, stunning. She nipped him on the neck once, and that’s when I thought I was going to puke. “I don’t think I can do this,” I whispered to Britain.
“Don’t be a drama queen,” she told me. “You know he cares about you more than anyone in the world.”
I did know that. Of course I knew that, but at that moment, a different universe threatened to reveal itself. What if I had never been paired with Dallas? Would Britain have stuck him with another girl, and would he have grown lusty enough over her to break up with Trish anyway?
I stare at the picture on the browser. All of the models sit in the mud on the field—Dallas and Adam and eight part-time female models. Kayden clings to Dallas’s side, his arm snuggly wrapped around her ass, their lips brushing in a faux kiss.
His eyes are closed.
His eyes are fucking closed.
I shut the browser and run my fingers through my hair, tugging until my scalp hurts.
Trust him, trust him, trust him. I chant over and over again in my head.
He was with Trish for five years when he fell out of love with her.
He’s only been with me for two months. And now he’s leaving for seven.
Britain
These bitches have no idea what the fuck they’re doing.
Finding a replacement model for Evan has been a goddamn nightmare, to say the least. Since I hate bloating her ego more than it’s already bloated, I’ll probably never tell her that she’s the only one of her kind. It’s not just that she’s a natural. It’s that she doesn’t give a shit about her modeling, so she’s the girl that always takes risks, and those risks happen to work out in her favor.
Jana, the girl I’m photographing now, cares too much about her image. It’s why she’s trying to hide her crotch as she poses on the bed instead of splaying herself like she should. And it’s not even like these photos are going in an issue. All I’m doing is auditioning to see if anyone has what it takes to be a lead, and so far, nada.
The worst part is that Jana is so gorgeous. Dark, creamy skin and these huge brown eyes—plus, tits to die for. If she would just let go a bit, she’d look like the perfect headlining model instead of an awkward stripper.
“Alright.” I let my camera drop. “We’re good here.”
Jana sits up, blinks, and frowns. “That’s it?”
I’ve only been shooting for five-ish minutes. I scratch my head awkwardly and shrug. “Yeah, I… uhh… usually can see all I’m going to see in the first fifteen shots or so.”
She knows I’m not impressed. Slowly, she rolls off of the bed and trudges to the makeup room to change. When I know she’s gone, I groan and fall onto the bed myself.
Hell, if I have to, I could probably shop sexy expressions on their faces to replace the awkward ones. My dad and my older brother, Cameron, are hard at work developing new photo touch-up software with their company team. Luckily, with my dad being the CEO, it means I’ll have access to that software right when it comes out.
I don’t ever throw around the fact that my family is worth a small fortune. I’ve always tried to make it in the world by my own means. I mean, other than the free software. But who can blame me?
“That bad, eh?”
I lift my head to see Evan leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over her chest. There’s a look on her face that I can read like a first-grade chapter book. It says that we need to talk.
“You’re quitting for good, aren’t you?”
She furrows her eyebrows. “How did you know?”
I sigh and sit up. “You’ve been a humungous fat ass lately. I mean, sneaking down for a spoon of cookie dough at two in the morning? Come on.”
She doesn’t look the least bit ashamed. “Hey, now, coming out of the erotica closet took a toll on me.”
“Bullshit,” I counter. “The only thing it took a toll on was your spare tire.”
“Whoa, bitch.”
“Evan.” I put on my super serious face. “So, you quitting, or not?”
She bites her bottom lip. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m quitting.”
I fall back onto the comforter and rub my eyes. “Fucking fuck, fuck. I’m so effed in the A.”
“Oh, give me a break, Brit. You literally have a million or more girls all over the U.S. who would die to take my place. The new leading bitch doesn’t have to be from East Park. She can be from anywhere. Just put an ad on Craigslist or something.”
“Oh, okay, put an ad on Craigslist. That sounds like a great idea to keep my studio nympho, exhibitionist, and STD-free.”
“Come on, you know we’re all exhibitionists here,” she says. “Well, except for you. You’re a little voyeur.”
“Not anymore,” I reply. “This little audition stretch has cured me of wanting to see naked women fake an O-face.”
She giggles, and then there’s an awkward pause between our banter. “I’m really sorry, you know,” she finally says. “It’s not like I wanted to fuck you over. It’s just, balancing Harvard and EPE, even as a part-time model, is going to be way too much.”
“Even when your boyfriend will be in Costa Lalaland?”
She flops down on the bed next to me. “That will probably make it worse.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Worrying about Dallas on top of worrying about staying afloat in classes on top of moving so far away from home on top of being in a place where I’ll be freezing my sorry ass off in the winter….”
“I got it, I got it.” Well, actually, there’s one thing I haven’t. “Why are you worried about Dallas?”
“You know… for his safety… against the monkeys.”
It’s almost creepy how easily I can figure out what’s going through her head. Maybe we need to be a couple. “Who’s the girl?”
Evan groans. “I don’t want to talk about the girl, okay?” She sits up. “Can we please not talk about the girl?”
“Alright, alright,” I say, even though my curiosity is piqued to the extreme. “Instead, why don’t we talk about how the hell I’m going to explain you throwing in the towel to A.J?”