“I understand.” Rowanstar had looked at her, his gaze betraying little. She had wondered if he was sad to lose her or simply unsurprised by her decision.
“I want to be with my kin,” she explained. “But I’ll always be grateful to ShadowClan for taking me in.” As she spoke, Violetpaw felt a flash of guilt. She wasn’t grateful. She wished they’d never separated her from Twigpaw. But perhaps they’d meant well. Perhaps she’d just never gotten a chance to see the real ShadowClan—before the rogues came.
Rowanstar dipped his head. “I respect your decision.”
He padded away, leaving Violetpaw alone in the chilly wind from the lake. He must be angry that she was abandoning the Clan when it was so short of cats. And yet she sensed that his disappointment was not too great. After all, she had left ShadowClan to live with the rogues. Perhaps, after all that had happened, he felt he would never be able to trust her.
“Are the ditches this way?” Twigpaw paused and glanced back at Violetpaw. The ditches were the best place for easy hunting. Prey liked to run along the gullies.
“No.” Violetpaw hurried to catch up and nodded toward the rise. “They’re over here.” Twigpaw was still finding it hard to navigate the pine forest.
Twigpaw frowned. “All the trees look the same,” she complained.
“You’ll get used to it,” Violetpaw promised. “When you’ve been here a bit longer you’ll realize that pine trees are as different from one another as they are from oak and ash.”
Twigpaw looked unconvinced. “Yeah, sure,” she sniffed.
“Let Violetpaw lead the way,” Hawkwing called from behind them. “You can learn from her.”
Twigpaw’s tail drooped as Violetpaw slid past her and started along the rise to where it began to dip. Violetpaw felt a twinge of guilt. I can’t help knowing this territory better than you. She guessed that her sister felt self-conscious about still being a ’paw. After all, Twigpaw had passed her assessment back in ThunderClan. I hope Leafstar gives her a warrior name soon. She’s worked hard and she deserves it. “The ditches are downslope,” she told her. “Just remember to follow the way water flows.”
“Okay. Thanks.” Twigpaw fell in beside Hawkwing and changed the subject. “You were going to tell us about Pebbleshine.”
Violetpaw glanced back at her father, trying to read his gaze. Did it still hurt to talk about his lost mate? She quickened her pace. Once they started hunting, Twigpaw would be too busy to ask questions.
Hawkwing swished his tail. “I’ll tell you about one time she was training,” he began. “Your mother had only been an apprentice for a moon, but it had already been far too long as far as she was concerned.”
“I know how she felt.” Twigpaw sighed.
Hawkwing went on. “She was desperate to impress her mentor, Billystorm. She woke before dawn every day and practiced warrior moves before he woke up. Billystorm would always emerge from his den to find her ambushing pinecones in the camp clearing or stalking crickets.” Hawkwing purred fondly, as though relishing the memory. “One day, he set her a test. She was supposed to find a secret way out of the gorge, then catch a rabbit, then head back to camp. But Billystorm told her that, along the route, he would ambush her and try to take her rabbit. She was supposed to escape the ambush, take the rabbit, and race Billystorm back to camp.” Hawkwing swished his tail. “She was so excited. This was her chance to really impress Billystorm. I remember how her fur ruffled along her spine as she searched the gorge for a secret way to climb out.” His eyes darkened wistfully. “She seemed so young.”
Violetpaw heard his mew catch in his throat. “You don’t have to tell us the story now,” she called over her shoulder.
“Yes, you do!” Twigpaw mewed eagerly. “I want to know what happened.”
“Pebbleshine did everything right. She climbed out of the gorge and caught a rabbit and, when Billystorm ambushed her, she fought him off using all the battle moves he’d taught her. But she forgot one important thing.”
Hawkwing paused teasingly.
“Tell us!” Twigpaw demanded.
Hawkwing purred. “She left the rabbit where Billystorm had ambushed her. She’d been so desperate to beat him back to camp that she forgot all about it and raced home as fast as she could.”
“Oh no!” Twigpaw gasped. “She must have been so disappointed.”
“Wait and see.”
Violetpaw pricked her ears. She was as keen as Twigpaw to hear what happened next.
Hawkwing flicked his tail. “Pebbleshine realized her mistake as soon as she reached the camp. She knew Billystorm couldn’t be far behind. I was waiting at the entrance to see how she had done. When she saw me, she begged me to help. She was so out of breath she could hardly talk. She told me to distract Billystorm. She said I must run to a Twoleg nest nearby and climb a tree and wait there. I thought she had bees in her brains. How would climbing a tree distract Billystorm? But I did it. I ran to the nearest Twoleg nest and climbed the first tree I came to. Before long, I saw Billystorm racing toward me. His fur was standing on end. He stopped below the tree and called up to me.” Hawkwing roughened his mew, clearly impersonating Billystorm. “‘Hawkwing! Are you okay? Pebblepaw told me she thought she’d seen a dog chasing you.’”
“She lied?” Twigpaw sounded horrified.
“Not exactly. She only said that she’d thought she’d seen a dog chasing me. And there was a dog barking nearby. I could have been chased. Your mother was smart. Her story distracted Billystorm long enough for her to race back and fetch her rabbit and get back to camp before him.”
Twigpaw whisked her tail happily. “Was Billystorm impressed?”
“Yes. He let her pick the first prey from the pile that night.” Hawkwing’s eyes shone affectionately. “And when he found out she’d used me as a decoy, he said it was quick thinking and a sign of a good warrior. Pebbleshine purred about it for days.”
Violetpaw glanced back at him. Talking about Pebbleshine seemed to have made him happy, even though she was dead. Was that how it was when you lost someone you loved? Her thoughts drifted to Needletail. Even thinking of her friend made Violetpaw’s chest tighten with grief. I could never talk about Needletail happily. Not after what happened.
She carried on walking, her paws suddenly heavy.
A pelt brushed her side. Hawkwing fell in beside her. “I hope you don’t mind me talking about Pebbleshine,” he meowed softly. “I know you must miss her.”
“I don’t really remember her.” Violetpaw guiltily avoided his gaze.
“You were very young when you lost her.” His mew was soft.
“Don’t you find it hard to talk about her?” Violetpaw asked.
“I like to remember her,” Hawkwing meowed. “And it’s easier now that I have found you both.” He looked back at Twigpaw, raising his voice. “She was the kindest, sweetest cat I’ve ever known, and I miss her every day. But missing her doesn’t have to feel so sad anymore because I have part of her with me.”
“Do we remind you of her?” Twigpaw called from behind.
Violetpaw felt a rush of irritation. Couldn’t Twigpaw ever let a moment pass in silence without filling it with questions?
Hawkwing stopped and looked at Twigpaw. “You remind me of her very much,” he meowed fondly.
Twigpaw puffed out her chest happily.