The story of my fictitious husband had been accepted by the few to whom it had been necessary to tell it. Life was going peacefully along. I was getting larger every day and they all regarded me with delight. I was pampered by everyone in the house. There was little talk of anything but the coming baby.
The midwife whom Maggie had procured pronounced herself pleased with my condition.
"I reckon it will be an easy birth," she said.
And so, on a warm June afternoon in the year 1667, my child was born.
They held her up for me to see her as I lay exhausted after my ordeal.
She appeared to have been well equipped with everything that a child should bring into the world.
I held out my arms and they laid her in them. At that moment I could forget everything but that I had my child.
I had said I wanted her named after Kitty, who had been Katherine.
We called her Kate.
She was indeed a lovely child. She was of good temper, more given to smiles than tears. She was bright and very soon knew each one of us. We adored her and wondered how we had managed to live without her. As for myself, I could not be unhappy since I had Kate and could not entirely regret anything that had given her to me. She dominated the household, and if Martha or Rose were missing one could be sure to find them with the baby, even if she were sleeping.
Those first months after her birth were completely absorbed by her, but one day Maggie asked me if I had ever thought of returning to the theater.
The idea had entered my mind. I wanted to earn money to pay Maggie for all she had given us, although she was always impatient when I talked of this. It was certainly not for that reason she suggested it. She knew what it had meant to me, and I think she felt that now Kate was not exactly a baby and there were three other people in the house whose greatest pleasure it was to care for her, there was no reason why I should not have a career in the theater as well as a daughter.
"It is always well," she said, "not to stay away too long. If you are building up a name you do it gradually and it does not help to have people forget you. You have had a year or so away. That could easily be remedied. It's when it gets too long that it begins to be difficult to return. As Kate grows up she'd be proud of her famous actress mother, you know."
"There's something on your mind, Maggie," I replied. "I know you."
"Well, what do you think? I ran into Jenny Crowther yesterday. Have I ever mentioned Jenny Crowther?"
"Was she not one of your old theatrical friends?"
"Those were the days! She married and went to live in the country somewhere. Her niece is Rose Dawson. You've heard of her."
"Yes, of course. She's playing at the Duke's now."
"That's right. Well, Jenny had it from her that Killigrew is putting on The Siege of Rhodes, and he's looking for someone to play lantha,"
"That's a good part."
"Well, why not go for the good ones? If I asked Jenny to get Rose to put in a word for you, I reckon Killigrew would see you. And you'd soon convince him that lantha is the part for you."
I felt a tremendous excitement creep over me.
"Rose is in high favor at the moment. She did well in The Rivals ... you know, it was The Two Noble Kinsmen but Davenant and Pryde added some songs and dancing. You remember 'My Lodging Is on the Cold Ground,' the song Moll Davis was singing when the King noticed her. And Nell Gwynne used to make a parody of it in her part over at the King's. That sort of thing does something for a play ... But what I'm telling you is that Rose's recommendation would count for something."
"Maggie, it sounds exciting."
"Well, there is no harm in trying. I'll speak to Jenny."
She did, with the result that I was interviewed and given the part.
So I was back again. My tragedy had faded far into the past. I had an enchanting baby. True, I was an unmarried mother, which gave me considerable qualms, in spite of the fact that Maggie had endowed me with a husband who had been fighting in Holland and who had now been conveniently killed off by Maggie's fertile imagination, and the past was safely buried. One cannot mourn forever, and Maggie, eternally optimistic, pointed out that as we learn a great deal from our mistakes, they are often blessings in disguise.
lantha was quite a success. Davenant was pleased with my performance, and I knew there would be other parts.
Then one evening, to my dismay, when I was coming out of the theater I saw Jack.
I stopped short. I wanted to run. I could not, of course. There was only one course to take. I must face him.
"Well met, Sarah," he said.
"No," I heard myself say, as coolly as I could. "I would say ill met."
"Sarah, try to understand."
"I have understood too well and I am in a hurry."
"You can give me a moment."
"I have no time at all to give you."
I was feeling calmer. It was the sight of his handsome face that brought the memories rushing back. I had loved him. I had been so happy with him—until I had discovered him for what he really was: a rake, a libertine, a man who would he and cheat and not care what he did to other people merely to gain his own ends.
"I just want a little of your time. You are not happy without me.
"You ever had a too high opinion of yourself. I am very happy to be away from you, thank you."
"I do not believe that."
"Believe what you will."
I turned, but he was beside me, laying a hand on my arm.
"I have been hearing news of you."
"I will say goodbye."
"Not yet." There was a note of authority in his voice and he was holding my arm. "I have heard that you have a child."
I forgot my cool dignity for a moment. "Who told you that?" I demanded.
"My dear, it is not difficult to get news of the rising star actress Sarah Standish."
"Yes, it's true," I said.
"A little girl, Kate. She is mine, of course."
"She is nothing to do with you."
I saw a smile touch his mouth. "So, it was some other. You left me to go to a lover."
"I will hear no more of this nonsense."
"I know that child is mine as well as yours."
I was afraid. He could not take Kate from me. That could not be. Besides, what would he do with a child? Still, I was trembling.
"You forfeited all rights," I said.
"It was you who left me, remember?"
"You deceived me. You ruined my life for a whim. The kindest thing I could ask you to do to repay me in some small way is to go away and never attempt to see me again."
He looked stunned. He was looking at me with a certain sadness in his eyes. I felt myself relenting a little. Then I thought: He is but playing a part. He is only trying to discomfort me. He has no right whatsoever to see Kate. I should not allow myself to be persuaded by him. I should have learned my lesson by now.
I turned and left him standing there.
The encounter had shaken me. I went straight home and told Maggie about it.
Maggie was perturbed. She did not like his bringing Kate into the matter.
Then she soothed herself. "Such as he are not concerned with children. He was just trying to trick you into taking him back," she said.
I noticed that she was very watchful with Kate. Martha and Rose were not allowed to take her out. Only Maggie and I were allowed to do that.
But after a while, when there were no further developments, we forgot about my encounter with Jack Adair.
We had slipped into a peaceful routine. Kate had made such a difference to our lives. Maggie said what we had missed before was a child in the house.
Kate was growing up fast. She was no longer a baby but a sturdy little girl, amusing us all with her quaint observations on life. Kate liked to learn about everything and Maggie and I were teaching her to read and to write, to which she took with great enthusiasm.