We had dinner at La Placita, which is a joint on the narrow, winding, dusty street sometimes known as Artists' Row by people who don't know much about art. There were checked tablecloths and live music. Afterwards we got back into Beth's shining twenty-foot chariot. If Beth had married a New York broker and settled in a conventional suburb in her native Connecticut, I'm sure she'd have become an enthusiastic Volkswagen booster. It would have been her protest against the conformity around her. In Santa Fe, where they never heard of the word conformity, and with a screwball author for a husband, she needed the Buick to keep her sense of proportion. It was a symbol of security. She glanced at me quickly as I drove past our street without turning in.
"Give them a little more time to go to sleep," I said. "Don't you ever put gas in this bus?"
"There's plenty," she said, leaning against me sleepily. "Where are we going?"
I shrugged. I didn't know. I just knew I didn't want to go home. I could still see Tina's black-gloved hand gracefully giving me the old stand-by signal. If I went home, I'd be expected to make myself available, somehow-take a walk around the house to find the cat, have a midnight burst of inspiration and dash out to the studio to get it down on paper. I was supposed to place myself alone so they could reach me, and I didn't want to be alone. I didn't want to be reached.
I took us through the city through the sparse evening traffic and sent the chrome plated beast snarling up the long grade out of town on the road to Taos, sixty miles north. There should have been a release of sorts in turning loose all that horsepower, but all it did was remind me of the big black Mercedes I'd stolen outside Loewenstadt-it was the assignment after I'd kissed Tina goodbye and lost track of her-with a six-cylinder bomb under the hood, a four-speed transmission as smooth as silk, and a suspension as taut and sure as a stalking tiger. When I'd glanced at the speedometer-on a dirt road, yet-the needle was flickering past a hundred and eighty kilometers per hour, which translates to a hundred mph and some change. And I'd thought I was kind of babying the heap along. -
It almost scared me to death, but for the rest of that job I was known as Hot Rod, and all driving chores that came up were left to me without argument, although I could get an argument from that bunch of prima donnas on just about any other subject… Well, I never saw any of them again, and some of them hated my guts and ~ wasn't very fond of theirs, but we moved our sniper into position and made our touch on schedule, so I guess it was a pretty good team while it lasted. Mac didn't believe in letting them last very long. One or two assignments, and then he'd break up the group and shift the men around or send them out to lone-wolf it for a while. Men-even our kind of men-had a perverse habit of getting friendly if they worked together too long; and you couldn't risk jeopardizing an operation because, despite standing orders, some sentimental jerk refused to leave behind another jerk who'd been fool enough to stop a bullet or break a leg.
I remembered solving that little problem the hard way, the one time it came up in a group of mine. After all, nobody's going to hang around in enemy territory to watch over a dead body, no matter how much he liked the guy alive. I'd had to watch my back for the rest of the trip, of course, but I always did that, anyway.
"Matt," Beth said quietly, "Matt, what's the matter?"
I shook my head, and spun the wheel to put us onto the unpaved lane that feeds into the highway at the top of the hill. The big station wagon was no Mercedes. The rear end broke loose as we hit the gravel, and I almost lost the heap completely-power brakes, power steering, and all. For a moment I had Buick all over the road. It gave me something to fight, and I straightened it out savagely; the rear wheels sprayed gravel as they dug in. I took us up on the ridge, with those soft baby-carriage springs hitting bottom on the bumps, and swung in among the pinons and stopped.
Beth gave a little sigh, and reached up to pat her hair back into place.
"Sorry," I said. "Lousy driving. Too many Martinis, I guess. I don't think I hurt the car."
Below us were the lights of Santa Fe, and beyond was the whole dark sweep of the Rio Grande valley; and across the valley were the twinkling lights of Los Alamos, in case you were interested, which, unlike Amos Darrel, I was not. They no longer make so many loud disturbing noises over there, but I'd liked the place better when it was just a pinon forest and a private school for boys. Whatever it was Amos had turned up in his lab, and was rushing to Washington to make his report on, I had a hunch it was something I could have lived quite happily without.
Looking the other way, you could see the shadowy Sangre de Cristo peaks against the dark sky. They'd
already had a sprinkle of snow up there this fall; it showed up ghostly in the night.
Beth said softly, "Darling, can't you tell me?"
It had been a mistake to come up here. There was nothing I could tell her; and she didn't belong to the catch-as-catch-can school of marital relations. In my wife's book, there was a time and a place for everything, even love. And the place wasn't the front seat of a car parked a few feet off a busy highway.
I couldn't talk to her, and I wasn't in a mood for anything as mild and frustrating as necking, so there wasn't a damn thing to do but back out of there and head for home.
CHAPTER 7 -
MRS. Garcia was a plump, pretty woman who lived only a few blocks away, so that, except in bad weather or very late at night, she did not have to be driven home. I paid her, thanked her, saw her to the door, and stood in the doorway watching her walk along the concrete path to the gate in our front wall. Like many Santa Fe residences, ours is fortified against invasions of our privacy by six feet of adobe wall ten inches thick. After she'd gone, closing the gate behind her, it seemed very quiet.
I listened to Mrs. Garcia's receding footsteps and to the sound of a lone car going past outside the wall. There was no sound inside and no movement except for our large gray tomcat-named Tiger by the children despite a total lack of stripes-who made a quick, silent pass at the door, hoping to slip inside unnoticed. I closed the screen in his face, locked the door, and reached for the switch to turn out the yard lights. They could be controlled from the front door, the kitchen, the studio, and the garage, and they had cost a pretty sum to install. Beth could never understand why we'd had to spend the money. She'd never lived in such a way as to consider it a luxury, at night, to be able to hit a single switch and determine, at a glance, that there was no enemy inside the walls.
I let my hand fall from the switch without pressing it. Why should I make life easy for Tina and her friend? When I turned away, Beth was watching me from the arch of the hallway that led back to the children's bedrooms.
After a moment, she said, without mentioning the lights, "All present and accounted for. Where's the cat?" If not exiled at night, the beast will hide under the furniture until we've retired, and then jump in bed with one of the kids. They don't mind in the least, not even the baby, but it seems unsanitary.
"Tiger's all right. He's outside," I said.
She watched me cross the room to her without smiling or speaking. The light was soft on her upturned face. There's something very nice about a pretty woman at the end of a party evening when, you might say, she's well broken in. She no longer looks and smells like a new car just off the salesroom floor. Her nose is maybe just a little shiny now, her hair is no longer too smooth to caress or her lipstick too even to kiss, and her clothes
have imperceptibly begun to fit her body instead of fitting some mad flight of the designer's fancy. And in her mind, you can hope, she's begun to feel like a woman again, instead of like a self-conscious work of art.